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Thread: Should I tell my sister?

  1. #1

    Default Should I tell my sister?

    I'm debating on whether or not I should tell my younger sister (she's 14) about my crossdressing...

    My mom and dad both know at this point, so she is the only one in the house who is currently 'out of the loop' so to speak. I didn't want to tell her for a while because I wasn't sure if she would tell my parents, but since they have apparently both found out anyway, I don't really think it matters at this point >_>

    I want to tell her for a few reasons. I hate hiding things, I don't want to worry about getting caught etc. But also because she has done some interesting things over the years herself (i.e. female to male type things) that I wanted to ask her about.

    What do you guys think?

  2. #2

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    Depends on her maturity. And I'm not talking about maturity as in how she handles a situation, but her knowledge of the world around her.
    Also take it slow, don't just tell her flat out, dress up, and blast her with 10239829 questions.

  3. #3

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    She seems pretty knowledgeable.... at least I think >_> I don't think she'd go around telling everybody she saw, if that's what you mean. The main reason I think I can tell her is because I think she might be in a similar position regarding her sexuality/gender. (I've talked to her about her sexuality before, and she said "I don't know what I am.")

    And don't worry, I wasn't planning on telling her while I was dressed up xD

    I don't just want to tell her because it might make me feel better, but I think my 'coming out' to her might help her be more comfortable with whatever it is she seems to be struggling with. >_>

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyoko View Post
    if that's what you mean.
    What I mean is... ugh, I'll use an example. If she hasn't gone through puberty, you clearly can't go around telling her jokes that involve such a topic, she wouldn't understand it, if anything it would make things worse.

    But I'd like to add that she is still young, and thus most likely has not explored those sides of herself. She probably acted the way she did because that's how she felt. It's typically the younger the person is, the easier it is for them to express themselves without caring what other people think, or what they 'should' be like.

  5. #5

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    My experience is that it is always better to tell than be discovered and do it from a positive, I have something I want to share with you. If she has crossdressed that might be how to introduce it.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyoko View Post
    I'm debating on whether or not I should tell my younger sister (she's 14) about my crossdressing...

    My mom and dad both know at this point, so she is the only one in the house who is currently 'out of the loop' so to speak. I didn't want to tell her for a while because I wasn't sure if she would tell my parents, but since they have apparently both found out anyway, I don't really think it matters at this point >_>

    I want to tell her for a few reasons. I hate hiding things, I don't want to worry about getting caught etc. But also because she has done some interesting things over the years herself (i.e. female to male type things) that I wanted to ask her about.

    What do you guys think?
    there is another point here that you should give some thought too before telling your little sister...
    you say that both of your parents know about you. and apparently they are in a positive mind-set about you now/at this point?
    what you may want to ask your self (and maybe your parents) is do my parents want my little sister to know about me/you? and if so, how, or by whom?
    parent's can be funny about such things, and it can't hurt to ask them....

  7. #7

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    10239829
    Off topic where did you come up with that number


    If she hasn't gone through puberty, you clearly can't go around telling her jokes that involve such a topic, she wouldn't understand it, if anything it would make things worse.
    on topic i Agree 100%

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sitherus View Post
    Off topic where did you come up with that number 10239829
    well first I took 10239830 and I subtracted 1

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    there is another point here that you should give some thought too before telling your little sister...
    you say that both of your parents know about you. and apparently they are in a positive mind-set about you now/at this point?
    what you may want to ask your self (and maybe your parents) is do my parents want my little sister to know about me/you? and if so, how, or by whom?
    parent's can be funny about such things, and it can't hurt to ask them....
    Yeah... you make a good point.

    I was actually just thinking about how it was kind of funny that they hadn't told her yet, the thought that maybe they don't want her to know hadn't even crossed my mind The thought that did cross my mind though, was this:

    If I do tell her, and if she really does have some sort of gender issue like me, then my parents will probably blame me for filling my sister's head with nonsense, or something along those lines, should she say something to them...

    I don't want to tell her just for my sake though, I want to help her because she seems like she is having trouble with something sexuality/gender related, and I thought that my telling her about my crossdressing might help her to be more comfortable in talking to me about her problems... I know that when I was in her position, I felt really alone until I discovered the wonders of the interweb, so I just thought it might make her feel a little better for her to know that I feel a similar way...

    Back to Mrkittykat - I guess I can't really say how much exploring she has done, my suspicions about her apparent trouble are based on conjecture for the most part. You know, strange comments she has made, her insisting on cosplaying as boy characters etc.

    I guess I could be reading a bit too much into it... You said that she might just not care what other people think yet, and I agree. It's just that for me, that wasn't the case. I was always self conscious of everything I did, even at her age. I was well aware of what I wanted to do (act and dress 'girly'), but I didn't do it out of fear of the social consequences. I constantly evaluated myself to make sure that what I was doing looked 'manly' because I knew that if I acted in any way remotely 'girly' that I would be made fun of, and possibly even ostracized.

    The level of self consciousness that I had at her age was in no way healthy, in fact I'm 95% sure it was a huge contributing factor to my developing social anxiety (which I have come a long in getting over). I don't know... I can usually tell when something is bothering somebody, and I feel like something is bugging her, and if it is anything like what I was going through at her age, then I want to try to help, I'm just not sure how, and I thought that maybe telling her about how I am might make her feel more comfortable about herself...

  10. #10

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    No, you should not tell your sister because even if she seems supportive, she could use it against you in the future! I could never bring myself to burden my much-younger sister with my gender issues.

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