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Thread: ABDL similarities to crossdressing

  1. #1

    Default ABDL similarities to crossdressing

    With some recents posts speculating as to the origin of AB/DL feelings, I've been wondering if there any other interests that are similar. BDSM activities don't really seem that comparable, but I think I found something - crossdressing. Here are some similarities I've noticed:

    1. It often starts early.
    2. Some people do it for comfort, for others it's sexual.
    3. There's a colloquial term for it ("dressing", like what's called "wearing" here).
    4. Binge/purge cycles.
    5. Feelings of guilt and shame.
    6. Worries about getting caught.
    7. Embarrassment about buying things, even if it doesn't make sense (i.e. who's going to think those diapers/panties are for you?)


    Overall that seems like a lot of things in common. There are some differences too. For example, I don't think gender norms play a role for AB/DLs - ignoring sissy/LGs for now, since I'm not sure how they fit into all this. AB/DLs also don't worry about passing.

    I've searched here, and didn't find any similar posts (well, lots on crossdressing, but none about similarities to AB/DLs), so forgive me if this is common knowledge.

    Anyway, does this make sense, or am I totally off base comparing AB/DLs and crossdressers?

  2. #2

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    I've noticed that same thing! I sort saw myself as a (male to female) crossdresser for a while, and I spent some time on CD forums where I saw some stories and things that sounded a little familiar when I found adisc.org
    Another similarityh that goes along with the worry and shame part is the big stress that some people feel about telling their significant others, or doing it in secret and always worrying they'll find out.

  3. #3

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    I also saw myself starting to do MtoF crossdressing in my mid 20's. When I was in my 40's I started buying panties And Pantyhose and wearing off and on mainly for sexual reasons. Now I crossdress almost all
    the time. Pads and diapers have come into being in the last 10 yrs. That's mostly because of my urge IC.I still wear panties most days over my diapers.

  4. #4

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    I started crossdressing when I was about 10, I only recently started to buy my own girl clothes. It's almost always sexual for me and one day I thought about combining crossdressing and diapers and I did and now I always crossdress while wearing diapers.

  5. #5

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    Interesting - I didn't really mean for this to be a "who's into ABDL and crossdressing" thread, but since I have your attention I might as well ask some questions.

    For those who are interested in both, do you know why you're interested in either of them? I have some vague speculations on why I'm interested in diapers, but it's pretty vague, and for the most part I've decided I probably won't know why. And if you are interested in both, are the reasons similar, and did your interest start at the same time? My goal here is to see if figuring out why people are into crossdressing might help shed light on why people are ABDLs.

    To answer my own question (at least the ABDL part, since I'm not a crossdresser), I've been interested in diapers since I was about 4. Since I was so young then I don't think I can say why I was initially interested, but I think my interest now might be due in part to reinforcement of that memory during elementary school. Those memories are more reliable, and from there the pattern was set for future interest. I'm not sure how well that fits into other theories of ABDL, but it kind of makes sense to me.

  6. #6

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    There are similarities to some ABDLs and BDSM. Some ABs want someone to take control of their lives as a parent, and that is simmilar to being a "sub" (submissive) in the BDSM comunity to a "dom," or dominant. In fact, a predominant website (which I will not name because it is an 18+ site) for the BDSM community seems to include us ABDLs in their community and call us "ageplayers." A favorite book for ABDLs is written by someone who has been in the BDSM community as well as the AB community, and often times this author refers to ABs as "wards."

    Someone could argue DL is actually a form of ureophilia so the "water sports" community might think we are one of them. The paraphile worlds seems to have parallels that go in circles in some cases. My shrink said that the largest human sex organ is beween the ears and we may never understand all its secrets.

    Like I have said, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

    - - - Updated - - -

    How about this link I drudged up:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-to...mmunities.html

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by HokieABDL View Post
    There are similarities to some ABDLs and BDSM. Some ABs want someone to take control of their lives as a parent, and that is simmilar to being a "sub" (submissive) in the BDSM comunity to a "dom," or dominant. In fact, a predominant website (which I will not name because it is an 18+ site) for the BDSM community seems to include us ABDLs in their community and call us "ageplayers." A favorite book for ABDLs is written by someone who has been in the BDSM community as well as the AB community, and often times this author refers to ABs as "wards."

    Someone could argue DL is actually a form of ureophilia so the "water sports" community might think we are one of them. The paraphile worlds seems to have parallels that go in circles in some cases. My shrink said that the largest human sex organ is beween the ears and we may never understand all its secrets.

    Like I have said, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

    - - - Updated - - -

    How about this link I drudged up:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-to...mmunities.html
    Thanks for the link - that was an interesting thread that I hadn't seen before. Abasiophilia, mentioned in the thread, also seems fairly similar to ABDL and crossdressing, so other fetishes might as well. That's a new avenue for research. Does anyone have suggestions for other fetishes that are similar? Feet, apparently the most common, doesn't really seem that similar, but perhaps others are.

    I'm aware of the term ageplay as a subset of power-exchange relationships, and agree that there is some overlap with the BDSM community. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if ageplay originated in the ABDL community, and was taken in by the BDSM community since it fit the model of other, existing practices.

    There seem to be more differences than similarities with other BDSM activities, however. It doesn't seem like there are lots of stories of people saying "I knew I liked being tied up when I was 4," or similar things about enjoying pain, etc. Maybe there are - I haven't studied it that much, so if anyone knows anything about the origins of people's interest in bondage, s/m, etc I'd be interested. It seems like stories like that (which seem pretty common among ABDLs) are a lot more common with crossdressers than the BDSM community.

    Even ageplay seems a bit different in that it seems to be a partner (or group) activity. ABs talk about regressing on their own fairly often, which while possible with bondage, is discouraged and seen as a little more fringe due to (legitimate) safety concerns.

    Urophilia/"water sports" seems more connected to the humiliation aspect of BDSM, which isn't universal among ABDLs. I'm sure some have an interest in diapers because of the humiliation, but I don't think it's universal, while the humiliation seems pretty central to urophilia (again, correct me if I'm wrong).

    There also seems to be more shame, guilt, and trouble with self-acceptance about ABDL and crossdressing than BDSM. I think that's one of the more interesting similarities with crossdressing. BDSM doesn't seem to inspire the same fear about telling partners/etc. Well, maybe it does, and everything I've read about it has been by people who are very comfortable with themselves, so again, let me know if I'm wrong. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's easier to slowly and gradually introduce the topic of bondage and pain than diapers or women's clothes. Or maybe it's just more common.

    I'm probably rambling, so I'll stop now. I agree that we may never understand everything, but it's entertaining to think about.

    Also, what's the title of the book you mentioned? Feel free to PM me if you don't want to post it.

  8. #8

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    It's okay to post online about books, I think. "The Age Play And Diaper Fetish Handbook" by Miss Penny Barber. There is another book for the caretakers of hard-core ABs who make their AB closer to a lifestyle than a sometimes indulgement: "There's a baby in my bed!" by Rosalie Bent. I read them both. The second book is too hard core for "dabbling" ABs like me who are mostly DL and never regress more than a couple of hours once in a while. It talks about coming up with a system or plan.

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