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Thread: More Incontinence Problems...

  1. #1

    Default More Incontinence Problems...

    Hi everyone,

    I wanted to share some of my issues here, since I'm still very reserved about sharing things vis-a-vis, especially with my wife and close friends.

    I've always had wetting issues; and told my wife right from the outset of our relationship (not a problem/issue for her whatsoever). And even though it's been just shy of three decades, I'm still very much determined to keep this clandestine unless it is absolutely imperative that a 3rd party be informed.

    Earlier this year (circa late spring), I began experiencing loss of bowel control, in addition to my day/night wetting. It hasn't happened around my wife...yet (knock on wood); but I'm sure it's only a matter of time, given that it's happening as often as 3x/week (yesterday was by far the worst, most emasculating experience to-date).

    Yesterday, my doctor got me a referral to see a gastroenterologist about my bowel control problems; and today I found out from my urologist that I'm border-line diabetic.

    I've always tried to hide (and to an extent deny) my wetting problems and wearing diapers because of it; but if it's determined that my fecal incontinence is permanent, I'm not sure how I'll cope.

    Sharing your thoughts and/or personal experiences with being bladder/fecal incontinent would be greatly appreciated.

    --
    Amendments:
    I forgot to add, that I've already had two colonoscopies (I just turned 38 this year), neither of which indicated anything was wrong. When I was younger, my parents took me to urologists, psychologists, and psychiatrists...I'm sure you can form your own conclusion on how my visits went.
    I'm not a heavy drinker -- I work four jobs, and barely have time to play video games, let alone drink a few cold ones :-(
    Also, although my father *is* (now) diabetic (has been for several years, from what I've been told -- he and I don't talk...ever), it's because he drank rye n coke (very excessively) for 25-30 years -- which would make sense.

    --> Again, thanks for the replies.

    It was difficult enough telling my doctor, since I'm a new patient (about two months now). I have a self-image to maintain. And if the issue is only temporary or easily remedied (I'm not a doctor, so I'm only speculating AND hoping), then I can spare myself the embarrassment of having to tell my wife that her husband is both bladder AND bowel IC. I'm not sure how I'll be able to work if my bowel IC issues don't subside/stop. Changing a wet diaper at work is difficult enough -- in fact, I rarely get the chance, so I'm always very thickly padded when I have to work (thank God for baggy pants).
    Last edited by nackawic; 09-Nov-2012 at 12:03.

  2. #2

    Default

    I now wear diapers 24/7 to control my wetting. Like you I started with bedwetting and over the last year or so I have issues during the day. For the last year I have worn 24/7. To begin with the diapers were a big step, but they allow me to live a normal life without being tied to the toilet, without them I would either need to be very close to a toilet all the time or have lots of accidents. I have no experience of fecal incontinence other than when I have had food poisoning, at this time while being violently sick I did fill my diaper a few times. If you need diapers 24/7 and need to use them I'm sure over time it will become more normal for you. In my opinion wearing and using diapers is a much better option than constantly living in fear that you will have an accident in your pants.

  3. #3

    Default

    It is always really hard to cope with the fact that you have lost bowel control. I have had intermitent bowel cotrol loss. Well maybe more often than that. I have had bowel issues since I was 18, I am now 25. I had a surgery that weekend my muscles and at first I had no control but over time I regained some control but I never knew when I was going to have an accident. I was constantly worried that I was going to mess my pants infront of someone. I finally gave in and started to wear diapers when iknew I most struggled. Which was usually when I was sleeping or sick. It i still embarrassing to me when it happens in front of people. All you can do is just be strong and remeber that it is something you are going to deal with all your life and just stay confident.


    Quote Originally Posted by nackawic View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I wanted to share some of my issues here, since I'm still very reserved about sharing things vis-a-vis, especially with my wife and close friends.

    I've always had wetting issues; and told my wife right from the outset of our relationship (not a problem/issue for her whatsoever). And even though it's been just shy of three decades, I'm still very much determined to keep this clandestine unless it is absolutely imperative that a 3rd party be informed.

    Earlier this year (circa late spring), I began experiencing loss of bowel control, in addition to my day/night wetting. It hasn't happened around my wife...yet (knock on wood); but I'm sure it's only a matter of time, given that it's happening as often as 3x/week (yesterday was by far the worst, most emasculating experience to-date).

    Yesterday, my doctor got me a referral to see a gastroenterologist about my bowel control problems; and today I found out from my urologist that I'm border-line diabetic.

    I've always tried to hide (and to an extent deny) my wetting problems and wearing diapers because of it; but if it's determined that my fecal incontinence is permanent, I'm not sure how I'll cope.

    Sharing your thoughts and/or personal experiences with being bladder/fecal incontinent would be greatly appreciated.

  4. #4

    Default

    nackawick

    first: I hope the gastroenterologist is able to find a remedy...

    I've been "just" bedwetting almost all my life and have minor daytime incontinence issues (very minor mostly - minor enough that a small "pad" works very well).

    I think I would be pretty devastated at first if I'd got diagnosed with bowel IC... I could "cope" better with urinary IC - even full scale...

    But here's the thing - there is A LOT that can be medically done these days in cases of bowel IC...
    If it gets worse and one gastro-doc can't find cause or fix it, see another specialist... second opinion. be prepared that it might take a while, but again from a med. point of view, a lot can be done in many cases...
    prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

    you maybe want to talk to your wife - I'm myself in a long term relationship and we are pretty open when it comes to health issues and stuff like that.
    I think it's important to express your concerns and have a honest chat - if it gets worse, there's no way to "hide" this... and I think the shock would be less severe for your wife if she had time to mentally prepare that there's more trouble on the horizon (medically)... also I think if she stuck with you despite your IC issues, she loves you and I don't think it'll send her off running. but hiding stuff might freak her for the worse.

  5. #5

    Default

    I grew up with an overactive bladder and occasional fecal incontinence from IBS. It started getting worse in my 20's and I've been wearing 24/7 for about 9 years now. I've been to a gastroenterologist and had my first colonoscopy when I turned 40 (family history of bowel disease), which confirmed years of chronic IBS. My wife is understanding of my problems except for any babyish stuff. I think the hardest thing for her to understand is that it's hard NOT to feel like a baby when you fill your diaper unexpectedly. I feel helpless. Yes, it is emasculating and, yes, the cleanup is no fun. But, like Jamie said above, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything out of the house if it weren't for wearing diapers. My condition is tied to my screwy nervous system and I've tried various drugs to no avail. In the end, we deal with what we have in the best way possible. Best of luck and pm me if you want more info.

  6. #6

    Default

    Well I would like to point out it could be something you been drinking. My dad was a heavy drinker of alcohol. It did a number on his body a lot of times. A few times he had no control of his bowls. But When the doctors told him he had to quit drinking. He stop having that problem. I am not saying it just on drinking alcohol. It could be something your body rejecting. So my be you should look at your Diet.

  7. #7
    prichardson

    Default

    Hi

    I'm really sorry you are having these problems. You sound like you are fighting your problem, which is exactly the approach that I took, be it right or wrong - I'm not the one to say, but it did cost me my marriage.

    Don't get too stressed about the bowel problem just yet. There is a plethera of medications out there which may help. You don't say if you are having runny or solid accidents as this variable will dramatically effect the treatment options available.

    You sound like you are killing yourself with 4 jobs. Can you not slow down a little? From personal experience I can tell you that this much work can lead to all kinds of problems.

    Please just relax for the moment. Don't accept any defeat and try to face the problem with a positive attitude as there is bound to be a treatment option for you.

    Best wishes,
    Paul

  8. #8

    Default

    @ Paul,
    thanks for the reply and the encouragement. I am fighting ...yes. So far, so good (last episode was earlier this week -- so it's been a good few days). When I do experience loss of bowel control, it has been soft stool -- but always quickly and forcefully. I'm going to see a gastroenterologist on Dec 8, iirc...hopefully I'll get some answers.
    As for the four jobs: a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to make sure he pays his share of the bills. If I made 50+k like my wife does, I wouldn't be working four jobs. But, my level of education is far below hers.
    On top of all this, I've been experiencing E.D. -- awesome! I know. Which hasn't done my marriage any good. "There's a pill for that" ... isn't my approach; but for now, it may be my best option. :-/

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by nackawic View Post
    On top of all this, I've been experiencing E.D. -- awesome! I know. Which hasn't done my marriage any good. "There's a pill for that" ... isn't my approach; but for now, it may be my best option. :-/
    If your incontinence issues are neurological in origin the ED may well be related.

  10. #10

    Default

    My IC issues are not neurological as such, no.
    many causes of ED...I blame my wife, but hey...that's a story for another day (and another topic).
    ...and the "meds" my doc gave me ...didn't do anything to help.
    not yet, anyway.

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