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Thread: Is it normal for parents to treat you like a child?

  1. #1

    Default Is it normal for parents to treat you like a child?

    I'm in my late twenties and my parents live with us. Mom will sometimes treat me like a child. Like this evening, she and dad came back from their outing and I was lying on the couch because I felt tired while my son was playing. Mom told me to go to bed early at ten instead of doing the computer. I felt like she was treating me like a child because she told me what to do and this is something that parents do to kids. In the past mom has told me what to eat because I was eating sweets instead of something healthy so she told me eat a sandwich or something instead of those turnovers. I was 20 then and that is an adult. I am not sure if she does this because I have a disability or because that is normal for all parents for all adults. I know it's common in parents to like coddle their kids who have disabilities and be over protective and luckily mine was never like that.

    Is it normal for parents to treat all their adult children like kids, disability or not? Does the same happen to you and do you have a disability or none? For those hat don't live with their parents or don't have them living with you, do they treat you like a child? What about when you still lived with them as an adult?
    Last edited by Calico; 28-Oct-2012 at 05:32.

  2. #2


    Yes, it normal disabilities or not most parents that I have met tend to think of their child or children perpetually in that way, in that they are going to tell you what they think is best for you to do.
    As for the other details
    I am 27 and have Aspergers syndrome and some processing disorders.
    My older sister will be 32 in november and does not have any diagnosed disabilities but some mental illnesses.
    My younger brother is 16 and some anxiety disorders but is very bright as all three of us are.
    My mother also teaches at a school for kids with learning differences so my experiences my not be "normal".

  3. #3


    just knowing a little about your past I'm sure it (her treating you like a kid) has more to do with your disability rather then anything else.

    Though when your mom "told" you to go to bed rather then get online it was likely more that you were tired and she saw that and was just trying to help with your son.

  4. #4


    Yea this is totally normal especially if you had other siblings and at least for several years after you leave the nest. It is really something that they can't help because it is part of what your relationship has always been. Of course this all depends on the relationship, especially of mom was very motherly.

    Parents that treat there kids more like adults while they are still teens will treat there children more like adults after they leave the nest.

    You may one overtake your parents in maturity, education, work, childbearing or whatever but never expect to even be a peer, you will always be the child. Just remember, live your parents and cherish every moment you have with them because one day it will be over and it is best to have no regrets.

    One other thought, living with parents regardless of whether it is your home or there's once you are an adult can be very stressful. It is most successful when there is mutual respect and when someone is offended or hurt that they are quick to forgive.

  5. #5


    It sounds pretty normal to me. Parents never stop being parents and they always want what they think is best for their children, no matter their age. What would be odd is if she started threatening to punish you. As long as she doesn't try to wield any power over you, I don't think it counts as treating you like a child.

  6. #6


    Im 38, and have no disabilities what so ever, and there are times when my mother still will dote over me, and it almost feels like she is "mothering" me. Fathers dont have a problem letting go (I think). Once a mother, always a mother I guess. Maybe she just feels like that you still need to be taken care of a "little".

  7. #7


    It is not surprising at all and neither is it uncommon for parents to treat their adult children as though they were still children. All 3 of mine are grown and are living their own lives, but watching over them never stops. As a parent of a daughter who has a slight learning disability I have to catch myself and be mindful of the fact that she IS an adult and not give her the same instruction I gave her when she was a child. She may be grown up, but the Mom in me still sees her a my little girl. I am happy to hear that you have a Mom who loves and cares about you enough to make sure you are getting enough rest and the right foods...yes, it can be annoying at times, but I am sure her intentions are in your best interest.

    Kind Regards,

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