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Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1

    Default What should I do?

    My husband and I were living with his mom and her boyfriend. Tuesday he was kicked out and I wasn't. He is not allowed to come back until he has a job.
    I'm getting so depressed being away from him and I can't go stay with him. I don't know what to or how to get through this please help.
    He got kicked out supposedly because of his attitude and because he wasn't really trying to get a job.

  2. #2

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    This is harsh and I have seen it happen before. The person kicking the other person out might not realize the difficult situation it puts you in, so it might be worth talking to them about what happened.

    Life is sometimes very hard and it is often necessary to make tough decisions.

  3. #3

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    Sometimes this is called "tough love". If you don't kick the person out, they never get a job. Presently, my 65 year old brother in law is clocking in his 15th year, living with his 91 year old mother. He pretends at having a job which is based on finding condo owners who want to rent out to someone he matches. So far, he's made almost no money.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Garzilla View Post
    This is harsh and I have seen it happen before. The person kicking the other person out might not realize the difficult situation it puts you in, so it might be worth talking to them about what happened.

    Life is sometimes very hard and it is often necessary to make tough decisions.
    Talking to them won't work cause his mom even tried to talk her boyfriend out of kicking him out. They know it puts me in a difficult situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Sometimes this is called "tough love". If you don't kick the person out, they never get a job. Presently, my 65 year old brother in law is clocking in his 15th year, living with his 91 year old mother. He pretends at having a job which is based on finding condo owners who want to rent out to someone he matches. So far, he's made almost no money.
    My husband was just starting to really try to find a job.

  5. #5

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    I remember when you were looking for work and housing. I'm really sorry this has happened and I hope he does find a good enough job so that the two of you can find an apartment. It's too bad you're not in Lynchburg, VA because we have some inexpensive apartments that are safe to life in and fairly descent. As for employment, we're not so good.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I remember when you were looking for work and housing. I'm really sorry this has happened and I hope he does find a good enough job so that the two of you can find an apartment. It's too bad you're not in Lynchburg, VA because we have some inexpensive apartments that are safe to life in and fairly descent. As for employment, we're not so good.
    Thanks but I don't have a job either

  7. #7

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    I'm just wondering, did both of you marry without either one of you having a job? if so, why take such a big step in life when nothing else has been figured out? How on earth can you say "I do" without have a foundation of life to settle into?

    Both of yu took a huge step into the adult world, and both of you now have a responsibility to care for each other. so you and him should be scrambling to find work and settle for whatever you get until you can find a career. I would hope no one has forced you into marriage, so this is really on the both of you.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyavi View Post
    I'm just wondering, did both of you marry without either one of you having a job? if so, why take such a big step in life when nothing else has been figured out? How on earth can you say "I do" without have a foundation of life to settle into?

    Both of yu took a huge step into the adult world, and both of you now have a responsibility to care for each other. so you and him should be scrambling to find work and settle for whatever you get until you can find a career. I would hope no one has forced you into marriage, so this is really on the both of you.
    Yeah we didn't really think it through.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cootsypie View Post
    Yeah we didn't really think it through.
    you didn't think it through? Why did you even consider getting married without having any financial stability? I'm sure that somebody must have objected to it?

    I really don't understand why you would take the plunge into marriage without a plan of action. Does your boyfriend have any education beyond highschool? Does he have any money saved up? If the answer to those questions is no, then I believe you may be in for a rough few years. I know that your mother-in-law may be putting you in a rough situation, but if she hadn't given him that shove to go find work, you may very well be in a worse off situation.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cootsypie View Post
    Talking to them won't work cause his mom even tried to talk her boyfriend out of kicking him out. They know it puts me in a difficult situation.
    Well this is clearly a tough love situation. The idea is that some people won't take action to deal with a personal issue unless forced into a tough situation where action is necessary. You mention he has started looking for jobs, is this the result of him being kicked out?

    As long as he has the basic resources needed to survive and look for work things should go well.

    The bottom line is that your mothers boyfriend has the right to kick anyone out of his house and this is the one tool that is can use to encourage proper, responsible, behavior.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I remember when you were looking for work and housing. I'm really sorry this has happened and I hope he does find a good enough job so that the two of you can find an apartment. It's too bad you're not in Lynchburg, VA because we have some inexpensive apartments that are safe to life in and fairly descent. As for employment, we're not so good.
    It really is too bad that you two are not Ina place where housing is more affordable and jobs more plentiful. I know how tough this situation is and my heart really is with you and your husband.

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