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Thread: Can you lose your kids or get CPS involved?

  1. #1

    Default Can you lose your kids or get CPS involved?

    I wear diapers 24/7 because my husband keeps me in them. I also enjoy wearing them. But I wonder what happens if doctors knew I wore them because I like to, can they call social services on me? Would they get involved?

    I could just not wear one whenever I go to the appointments and I would hate to lie to them saying I have a bladder problem. But people are so easily judgmental and think you are an unfit parent if you do your kinks/whatever you want to call them 24/7.

    But what happens if you were to lose bladder control from wearing diapers, then you can say you have no control but then wouldn't your doctors want to know your medical history about it? What if you told them you lost it from wearing diapers and then you eventually lost bladder control?

    I don't plan on training myself to lose control. I like having the luxury to have control and not have any accidents when I air myself out. same as if I ever have to go without diapers.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I wear diapers 24/7 because my husband keeps me in them. I also enjoy wearing them. But I wonder what happens if doctors knew I wore them because I like to, can they call social services on me? Would they get involved?

    I could just not wear one whenever I go to the appointments and I would hate to lie to them saying I have a bladder problem. But people are so easily judgmental and think you are an unfit parent if you do your kinks/whatever you want to call them 24/7.

    But what happens if you were to lose bladder control from wearing diapers, then you can say you have no control but then wouldn't your doctors want to know your medical history about it? What if you told them you lost it from wearing diapers and then you eventually lost bladder control?

    I don't plan on training myself to lose control. I like having the luxury to have control and not have any accidents when I air myself out. same as if I ever have to go without diapers.

    Here's a question. Are you abusing your kids? Are you exposing them to questionable material?

    You've probably had a bit too much time to think about this but I can understand being concerned.

    The whole point is you're not hurting the children. If you were to say all of a sudden have adult-diaper parties with kids there then I could see if another person found out there would have concerns.

    If you wore nothing but a diaper around the kids all the time, I could see the reason for someone to have concern.

    Overall, seems ok to me and nothing to be too worried about

  3. #3

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    Nope, not abusing my son. It's hard to hide it from him because he sees me in them but I don't flaunt it. Plus he pushes his feet up against me in bed. I dunno if he notices it's a diaper he is feeling.

  4. #4

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    Your wearing a Diaper is not child abuse. It is not a reason in of itself to lose your child.

    You don't say how old your son is. Not a good idea to have your son seeing you in just your underwear, whether diapers or panties.

    it is also not a good idea to go to the doctor's wearing a diaper if you do really need one. Your doctor would want to know why, and most likely want to treat or refer you to a specialist of some sort or other, depending on the story you told her/him.

    Relax and have fun. Raisng a child is a blast!

  5. #5

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    I am sure my husband will make an exception and not make me wear to any of my appointments. My son is 22 months.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I am sure my husband will make an exception and not make me wear to any of my appointments. My son is 22 months.
    This is a curious question, but you do have a say in you wearing diapers, right? You say your husband makes you wear them, but I hope that's a mutual thing in which you both don't mind.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I wear diapers 24/7 because my husband keeps me in them. I also enjoy wearing them. But I wonder what happens if doctors knew I wore them because I like to, can they call social services on me? Would they get involved?

    I could just not wear one whenever I go to the appointments and I would hate to lie to them saying I have a bladder problem. But people are so easily judgmental and think you are an unfit parent if you do your kinks/whatever you want to call them 24/7.

    But what happens if you were to lose bladder control from wearing diapers, then you can say you have no control but then wouldn't your doctors want to know your medical history about it? What if you told them you lost it from wearing diapers and then you eventually lost bladder control?

    I don't plan on training myself to lose control. I like having the luxury to have control and not have any accidents when I air myself out. same as if I ever have to go without diapers.
    There have been some really good responses but I am going to weigh in on this one because I have had extensive experience with CPS.

    Before I continue it is important to understand two very important facts. First, every state has different laws so what others say may not apply to you. Most of the responses here are likely correct for most states, perhaps all of them, but there could be a nuance that differed where you live. Second, most of the child protection laws are extremely subjective and it is often the case that a person will turn someone it because of how they feel, or because they feel it is a bad situation.

    All of this takes me to one more important fact, and then I will explain my experience and how it relates. If you ever attract CPS attention, or police attention for that matter, it only takes one person getting the wrong idea then the case being screened by a prosecutor who does the same thing. Then it is likely game over. Sorry, I don't want to scare you but there is a risk.

    I have two children that I have not seen for about 7 years, the result of a bitter divorce. My Ex tried to get CPS to substantiate me for child abuse on a number of different facts. When I got a copy of the statements she had made to them there were hundreds of pages and much of it was crossed out. The crossed out bits were where she told them all about my diapers, I know this because I could see the writing under where they marked it out. In all of this mess we had a hearing where an administrative judge heard our statements and considered the reports that were given to her from the investigation. At the time I also felt that I was extremely fortunate that when the findings were finally reached not a thing was said about diapers being a problem, however, it could have easily gone the other way. Nearly 100% of the statements made in the hearing, and to the investigators, were fabrications from my ex and from her friends. They were literally trying to separate me from my children permanently. In the end my ex did not fully prevail, yet she has been successful in hiding the kids from me since.

    These same two children were removed from there birth mother, and were placed with us by CPS. We eventually adopted both of them. I won't give a lot of detail here but I can say that the birth mother was accused of some pretty terrible things with the first one, the second one CPS took because mom and baby ended up homeless and in a shelter. I attended every single hearing for the termination of the birth mothers parental rights, and I happen to know her as well, and I can honestly say there was never any concrete substantiation of abuse or neglect for the second child. So it is very possible to loose a child and literally be railroaded through the system. Now I am the benefactor of those two children and I love them more than life itself, but I still feel the courts, CPS, and other other involved seriously colluded to make sure mom never got either of the babies back.

    I honestly do not believe that wearing diapers on a 24/7 basis on its own would ever be proper grounds for CPS to get involved. Technically speaking, that I know of, here are no laws in the United States that prohibit or control people in the selection of underwear or what they do with there underwear. Such behavior might concern some doctors, and you are likely to get some questions. Your choice to be honest and the doctor is likely to come to some conclusion. If a doctor feels you are being abused, are abusing or neglecting your children, or that you have crossed certain lines he/she might make a referral.

    I know both incontinent and AB/DL individuals that wear openly around there children. This will be the case if you are 24/7. While I do not feel this is optimum I do realize it is sometimes not a choice, so obviously there will be cases where a parent will be diapered and it will be unavoidable for the kid to know.

    In my own case I was the primary caregiver for both of our babies until we separated. I am the one that weened them from bottles and pacifiers, I am the one that potty trained both of them, I am the one that cared for them most of the time.

    So here are some of the things that I feel are most appropriate when dealing with children, especially children that live in our homes. These are especially important for parents who wear diapers, especially not for a primary need, and especially when the kids are very young:

    1. I personally would never wear a diaper around my children, at least in a way that it was obvious or detectable.
    2. Once my kids were over 3 or 4 I would progressively make sure there was a higher degree of modesty in the home. For example, I may have seen my parents naked or partially naked when I was an infant (I nursed from mom and when I was potty training dad was occasionally an example) or very young, underwear occasionally past 5 or so but it was more and more uncommon as I grew older. I never knew my parents to just walk around or lounge in just underwear, or less. They nearly always had clothing, pajamas or a robe over any underwear. I would consider a diaper to be the same as underwear and I would treat it this same way if I were 24/7 around my kids.
    3. I would never involve children in the changing of an adult, although there might be some exceptions at a certain age if the case were disability related. I had a niece that would change her younger brothers diaper, even when she was 16 and he was about 14. But I would not be so eager for the kid to be caring for a parent at a young age, although it probably happens.
    4. I would NEVER involve children in diaper play, in the parents diaper play, not in any way or to any degree. If the choice is to wear 24/7 I would make sure the activity around the children were limited to discrete wearing while the children were around.
    5. I would never encourage children without a need to wear, or continue wearing diapers. I started potty training my son at a normal age, although he was resistant so we took our time, and I persistently encouraged and modeled good potty behavior. I have a good handle on some of the factors in my life so I even went so far as to make sure these were dealt with for both of the kids. When my son was about 6 and we were in a store walking through the baby isle, my sone cutely and shyly expressed an interest in diapers and actually asked because he wanted to try them, I made it not a big deal but very sweetly denied his request and encouraged him in the other direction. I was not trying to raise AB's or DL's I was raising well balanced and happy children to become happy and balanced adults.
    6. Potty train and seen at an appropriate age and in an appropriate manner.
    7. Make sure the kids are properly clothed, clean, not hungry, healthy, etc.
    8. Make sure the kid is physically safe.
    9. Make sure the kid is properly loved and nurtured, and that they have the opportunity to develop emotionally.
    10. Make sure kids are not subjected to (as a witness or victim) violence, undue conflict, abuse, etc.

    Obviously there is ire as the list is pretty generic.

    My point is basically what others have said, as long as your children are well cared for and they are developing in a relatively healthy fashion, there should not be an issue. Don't involve them in the diapers and make sure this part of you is kept as discrete as possible. Model and encourage proper behaviors, so if your 7 year old wants to be diapered and there is no real need you will have to make the correct decision in how to deal with this development.

    As an AB/DL I was never overly worried about my diapers and the kids, but then I also kept this side of me from them. I have no doubt that mom has told them all about me so we will see what happens. If I ever see them again there may be a time that I choose to wear much more often, and maybe even when they are around, but I will never wear in the open and I will never involve them in any way. I love my children too much to allow m own selfish desires to get into the way of there healthy development.

    Just keep things appropriate and you should be good.

  8. #8

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    Wearing diapers is in no way illegal, unless thats the only thing youre wearing in certain places. If your kids are old enough to question your diaper wearing, just lie to them and say its because youre leaky from giving birth/ have heavy periods/ etc. For the love of god dont tell them the truth that you are a deviant kinkster lol.

  9. #9

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    I believe rightly so - if you do not harm children, there is no reason to do you any problems.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    But I wonder what happens if doctors knew I wore them because I like to, can they call social services on me? Would they get involved?
    The can, sure. Will they? Who knows.

    I've had CPS show up at my house. And no, it didn't have anything to do with diapers. In general, CPS gets called on you because of a problem with somebody who interacts with your kids. That somebody may not be you!

    When my daughter was six years old and in Kindergarten, she and I were kicking a beach ball around the downstairs of our house. She reached for the ball just as I kicked, and my toenail scratched the back of her hand. No tears, but she did get a small cut, and so we put a band-aid on it. Two days later, I received voicemail from CPS telling me that they were stopping by the house to talk with me. About what? I had no clue! In short, a particularly hair-triggered administrator at our daughter's school had noticed the band-aid and asked her what happened to her hand. Innocently and honestly, she answered, "Daddy kicked it." No more questions were asked, and a report of possible child abuse was called in to CPS.

    Seriously.

    The visit from CPS was fine and very brief. The lady talked to the kids, asked my wife and me how they were disciplined -- all very matter-of-fact stuff. I didn't feel threatened by her at all, and as she left she admitted that she'd been very surprised by the report and by how little evidence it contained.

    Of course, all of that left me feeling quite angry toward our daughter's school. We immediately set up an appointment to talk with the principal. She, of course, was extremely defensive, stating that any suspicion of child abuse was required by law to be reported. Suspicion, unfortunately, is a very subjective thing! You just never know how somebody is going to interpret such a law, and so you're completely at the mercy of the people interacting with your kids at school.

    About a year later, however, we were talking with a parent of one of our daughter's friends (who didn't know about the CPS incident), and the subject of the particular administrator who reported my "abuse" of our daughter came up. As it turned, this person's son had committed suicide only two years prior. Terrible, obviously! Possible reason for over-protectiveness? Hell yeah!

    Anyway... So many human factors.

    So, I guess I would say this: You have nothing to fear. It seems very unlikely to me that CPS would be called, but if they were, they still can't do anything unless they observe solid evidence that abuse it happening. Wearing diapers clearly does not qualify as abusing your children!

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