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Thread: I Confessed

  1. #1

    Default I Confessed

    I have felt a time or two that I should confess my...odd trait. So one day while riding home after my college class ( I am 24) I told my mother. I told her I had this weird fetish type thing, that it was something really weird and freaky, to which she replied, "As long as it doesn't involve children or something, nothing would bother me." I replied that it doesn't. I am no pedophile for sure. I dropped a hint that it had to do with childhood objects and something to do with why I still have all my stuffed animals. (Staying with my parents while I attend college.) She said to tell my psychiatrist, which seems reasonable, I need some therapy anyway for other issues.

    The next day, after class once again, I told my grandmother the same thing. She started guessing, but very tactfully. "I have heard of people who like, say, baby clothes." I told her she was getting closer. At which point a minute later she guessed right, and I confirmed it. (It was MUCH easier for her to guess right and for me to confirm it than for me to say it out right.) She was not at all put off. My mother had heard me talking. (I was talking louder than I knew.) I had my grandmother tell her. My grandmother just told me to tell her. "I think I would like to wear diapers." I could never say such a thing out loud. I gave the phone to mom and my grandma told her as I requested. A look of shock crossed her face. However I got the feeling that the reason for the shock as my constantly telling her it was something really weird made her underwhelmed. Apparently to her this isn't something that weird.

    She confessed to a few of her own "fetishes" the next day to I guess help make me feel like less of a pervert. One of which is poking needles in herself. (She started when doctors were doing tests in her arms for nerves, and she could hardly feel it. She I guess likes slowly poking herself to see when and if it starts to hurt.) Another was being whipped. (Very lightly, not to cause damage.) Both of them apparently heard that this is not at all rare and were apparently not at all put off.

    I guess I should tell my psychiatrist come Thursday, and eventually my therapist. But the problem is they are sure to ask questions like. "Have you ever acted on this?" "Would you like to act on this" and other questions. How can I possibly answer such questions. I had a hard time saying what ABDL stands for to my mother because it felt awkward to me. Any advice?

    In addition, for the last few days I have been acting out some of this. (not wearing diapers as that is far too scary encase I am found out, and how would I get them anyway. I doubt my mother would care much as long as it was in private.) I have had say a bottle of milk before bed. (We often have my baby nephew stay the night, so I can easily get away with this, as several are in the house and I make sure to put them back without ever being seen.) For some reason this has mostly stopped my dreams at night, and often causes me to not have the urge to for the next good while, or day. Not having weird dreams about it is nice. Is this actualy helping me or will it hurt me more in the long run. Should I tell my therapist/doctor about this? What will they say? Anyone ever told their psychiatrist/therapist stuff like this?

    -Edited-
    Last edited by CuriousOne; 16-Oct-2012 at 21:26.

  2. #2

    Smile

    Congrats on telling your mum & grandmother! It's great that they've been so accepting.



    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    I guess I should tell my psychiatrist come Thursday, and eventually my therapist. But the problem is they are sure to ask questions like. "Have you ever acted on this?" "Would you like to act on this" and other questions. How can I possibly answer such questions. I had a hard time saying what ABDL stands for to my mother because it felt awkward to me. Any advice?
    I hate the "ABDL" label. Not because there's anything wrong with it, as such. And not because there's a better description... ABDLs are really quite varied and one person's tastes will seem weird and unpleasant even to another ABDL! So... I'd ditch the label and just try to think about what it all means to you personally.

    Instead of saying to my therapist, "I'm an ABDL and this is what that means...", I initially just said that I feel like a little kid sometimes. And then (after a while) I showed him some photos of adult girls in baby clothes (no visible diapers!). And... I've talked about what I remember from my childhood and why it feels so safe compared to my "adult" life. But I think the key is to explore it entirely from your own perspective.

    I created a thread a while back asking for suggestions on how to tell a psychotherapist, which you might find interesting: https://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-t...hrink-how.html

    And (after showing my therapist the photos) I created another thread asking how others told their therapist: https://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-t...therapist.html



    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    Not having weird dreams about it is nice. Is this actualy helping me or will it hurt me more in the long run. Should I tell my therapist/doctor about this? What will they say? Anyone ever told their psychiatrist/therapist stuff like this?
    My therapist views my "littleness" to be a coping mechanism that helps me deal with life, so in that way it's a "good" thing because it helps me to cope. By dealing with the underlying issues (through therapy) I can learn to cope with life better and thus have less need for such coping mechanisms.

    But, so long as what you want to do with your life isn't immoral or harmful, then it's really no business of any psychologist/psychiatrist to interfere (in my humble opinion). I think, even after all the therapy in the world, I'll still be a little kid inside and no one can stop me feeling like that! So yah boo sucks to you!

    Good luck -- hope it goes well when/if you tell your doc/therapist...

  3. #3

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    If your mother and grandmother both seem accepting of the idea that you would like to wear diapers, have another discussion with mom about any boundries and rules that she would feel would be necessary when you wear. If she wasnt shocked to hear that this was your fetish, I highly doubt that she will have much of a problem with you wearing (perhaps in certain situations she will want you to cover up (company over).

    As far as telling the shrinks and psychologist ? Why ? Do you know why you want to wear ? If so, I dont think telling them is necessary, unless your bundle of issues kind of get wrapped up in the diaper like theme. But, most parents want you to see a shrink for this, because they have a problem understanding why you would like something like this.

  4. #4

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    It is good to have the opportunity to open up to those you love and with whom you are living. I get the distinct feeling that you really only have the desire to do these things and that you really have not actually worn a diaper. I look at it this way, if you are willing to open up to your mom and grandmother then wearing a diaper should have little risk of being something that one would be concerned about being caught doing.

    Just remember, now that they know doesn't mean there is any reason to include them or to be anything less than discreet. By remaining discreet you improve the chances of maintaining a better relationship with others. For example, as a 24 year old I would never wear just underwear around my mom, so I would have never worn a diaper around her either, even if she knew. At the same time they should respect your privacy and should not be surprised if they accidentally see something. In many ways when others know the rest is not any big deal so long as you keep things appropriate.

    The psychologist is really not a different issue. If you feel compelled to tell him you should be willing to let him know the entire thing. You have the right to keep this private, but you can tell him if you wish.

    I would tell a psychologist or therapist if I felt it were important and as long as I felt safe about it. Any good therapist will create that safe environment but you should know that a therapist or psychologist is likely to want to cure you. Some will treat it as no big deal.

    I don't see how telling a medical professional, psychologist or therapist would hurt you. But again, there has to be a reason to discuss this with someone else.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Garzilla View Post
    I get the distinct feeling that you really only have the desire to do these things and that you really have not actually worn a diaper.
    Nope never have worn. I do have a great desire to though. But that raises other questions. Being discreet, I get. I have drank from a bottle before as said, and even bought myself a pacifier and usually sleep hugging one of my stuffed animals. Other than my stuffed animals (which most people know I often sleep with, and don't care.) I take extreme precautions. As for wearing a daiper, I would love to do so, and often dream of it. However have no idea how to get one that would fit an adult to be honest.

    As for "curing" me, I really don't mind if they want to. I doubt they can though. But frankly, if they somehow did get rid of the strong desire, I would not mind.

  6. #6

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    So long as you are comfortable with yourself, and are able to function in the "Real World", then trying to (excuse me) "Cure You", is a lot more trouble than its worth. Since you are talking to the doctors anyway, no harm in telling them what is on your mind.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    Nope never have worn. I do have a great desire to though. But that raises other questions. Being discreet, I get. I have drank from a bottle before as said, and even bought myself a pacifier and usually sleep hugging one of my stuffed animals. Other than my stuffed animals (which most people know I often sleep with, and don't care.) I take extreme precautions. As for wearing a daiper, I would love to do so, and often dream of it. However have no idea how to get one that would fit an adult to be honest.

    As for "curing" me, I really don't mind if they want to. I doubt they can though. But frankly, if they somehow did get rid of the strong desire, I would not mind.
    Yep, I have a lot of experience in the extreme precautions area.

    Adult diaper are really not that hard to get and it is possible to do so in a very safe and secure manner. First it is important to understand how and why you will be using them because this affects what you will purchase. Also for many there is a perception in what a diaper must be like that you will want to consider. So lets say that you do not plan to do anything but wear diapers, any of them will do just fine. There are very thin and flimsy diapers and then there are some that are quite thick and substantial, you will also find just about everything in between. If you don't plan to use them but you want a much thicker, obvious diaper feel this will affect what you buy. If you plan to use the diaper they come in a very wide range of absorbencies. For me, when I was a kid I wanted cloth diapers and nothing else really did the trick until I got a little older and started using better disposables. Since them I have grown I way prefer disposable diapers and I will only use the much thicker premium brands because they just work out better, and feel much more like a diaper to me.

    Living arrangements and your need to hide the diapers can be a factor as well. As a kid and well into my 20's it was rare for me to have a good place to hide but I managed. I would keep much lower quantities on hand which helped a lot. This way if things heated up a lot or if I started fearing the stash was king to be found it was also easier to move and less of a problem to dispose of it it were necessary. At this point in my life it was actually also easier to get diapers by the bag locally. In the time since I have discovered getting an entire case, or 2 or 3 cases at a time, is not too hard and I have adequate places to hide them.

    Where you will be wearing the diapers can also be a factor especially if you don't want I be obvious. This is a bit more of an advanced subject but there might be a time that you decide to venture out in a diaper. For some of us it completes the experience. If you ever choose to be diapered 24/7 even if only for a week or two, you will want to be willing to wear diapers out. For me this happened when I was a young teen because I had a more private place that was out in the woods. Over time I discovered I could get away with putting a diaper on then riding my bike to my secret place. Then when I was 16 I wore to a movie for the first time. The diapers of the time were pretty good but not especially thick or thin. This was great because I could wear parachute pants or something else that was pretty loose fitting and no one could tell. The down side is that these diapers were good for smaller settings but flooding them or wetting a lot would create a new problem, a leak.

    These days I only get the best diapers and I generally only buy them online. I choose online because I do not have to risk running into anyone else at a drug store, and because this is now the only place to get the better diapers. I buy them by the case or multiples and I only get them from companies that offer discrete shipping so that the package is not obviously marked as having diapers or some other embarrassing name brand.

    The only other major trick is I find out what size is best for you and what diaper works the best, and feels the best for you. A lot if the online shops offer sample packages as well as the ability to purchase a few diapers or a bag at one time, so there is less of a reason to purchase them by the case. Regardless, if I were just starting out I would buy no more than one bag at a time so that I had a chance to see if they fit well and if the specific design worked for me. Besides there is a chance that you get them, put the first one on and then decide that it isn't for you.

    The starting place is to decide on a cloth like or plastic outer shell. I find that most people prefer the type of diaper that they wore as a baby, or at least whatever type they imagine wearing. For me this is generally a diaper with a plastic outer shell, although from experimenting I have discovered I like some that are cloth like. When you get the diapers wear until you have gone through about 1/3 of the bag then make a decision, do they fit, do they work and do you like them. Then get a second bag of something different and go through 1/3 of the diapers and ask the same questions. If you decide one specific kind of diaper is not working for you just ahead and wear through the rest of the bag.

    The reason you only wear some of the diapers, in the first few different kinds of diapers that is get, is that you will want to eventually alternate between the ones you have decided it like the most so that it is a bit easier o compare them and to decide which you like the best.

    Once you find a diaper that you like, and that works for you it is safer o purchase in bigger quantities if you have a place to hide them. Then, later on, when newer diapers come out or when you find one you would like to try, just get a sample or even a bag so that you can try them.

    Here are some of the diapers that I have found I like a lot, and where I get them.

    Abena X-plus (plastic backed) or Air-plus (cloth like). I get theses diapers because they are thick, soft and make me really feel like I am we'll diapered. They hold a lot so leaking is not much of an issue. I am a very heavy wetter so this is important for me. They are not as good for wearing out unless you can conceal them (not too hard) mostly because they are pretty thick. I get mine from XP Medical online and they are very good to work with.

    Cushies (there is a plastic and cloth version, I have only tried the plastic version so far) and Super Dry Kids (only plastic outside). These diapers are decorated to look like real baby diapers and actually have a angle tape line baby diapers. They are made specifically for the AB/DL community. I love these diapers because they look no feel like real baby diapers, if you get the optional scent they have that fresh baby diaper smell. They are pretty thick but don't hold as much as the Abena. This has become one of my favorite play diapers. I get them from Adult Baby Universe.

    Bambino is much like Adult Baby Universe in that they make real big baby diapers. They are a little different in that they have two tapes per side, the design is a bit different, and they have different decorations or even a plain white version. I like there Blanco (all white) and the Teddy (has cute bears on them and is a bit more absorbent). You can get them from Bambino Diapers,

    There are lots of other choices including store bought diapers. These days it is hard to find something that is worth wearing unless you get them inline. Depends, for example, are pretty thin. For me they leak the moment I wet a tiny bit, so this is not a good thing. There are others that are pretty good but mostly from medical or health care types of places.

    If it ever have questions know that ADISC is an amazing resource and there are a lot of us that have quite a bit of diaper experience so it is not hard to get great advice.

  8. #8

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    My first set were some depends, more underwear like than i like, but they were cheap. I used some water to moisten them, not wanting to pee my first time, not having any powder or anything encase of a rash or something, and it swelled up decently. It was a tad leaky after a couple cups of water. Going to try and find some plastic pants for adults, unfortunately I really cna't order online, as I doubt most places are very discreet so I will have to find some in person.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    unfortunately I really cna't order online, as I doubt most places are very discreet so I will have to find some in person.
    Actually most places are very discrete epspecially if they are an AB/DL company as they understand why we would like to have privacy so I would recommend looking around and seeing if any site catches your eye then posting the name here because I'm sure you will find members that have ordered from them and as such be able to get some good feedback on how the pants were delivered.

  10. #10

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    If you told your psychiatrist there's a chance that they'll ask you about your abdl antics every time you see them, and if you're not that comfortable/open about talking about then seeing them may become awkward.

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