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Thread: Dating site help.

  1. #1

    Default Dating site help.

    I'm on a dating site, but I haven't been able to get any replies from the girls I messaged. I don't even understand what sort of messages I'm suppose to write.

    I'm not fat or anything, I don't get why I'm not getting any responses.

  2. #2

    Default

    Does your profile mention your height? If so how tall are you? Short guys can get a bit of a raw deal when it comes to dating as women often want someone taller in a boyfriend. If that isn't the problem then why not post one of your messages here so we can look for any ways to improve upon it.

  3. #3

    Default

    Yes, my profile does have my height. 66 inches. I think i'm could be considered too skinny also

    It would be composed thing like

    "Hey, we seem to share interests, I think we should try to chat sometime."

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SubterraneanSun View Post
    Yes, my profile does have my height. 66 inches. I think i'm could be considered too skinny also

    It would be composed thing like

    "Hey, we seem to share interests, I think we should try to chat sometime."
    Truthfully, if I was on a dating site I would ignore you.

    You've spent a few seconds telling me that we share 'interests' and we should chat. Well done. You need to reach out to girls, tell them that you've actually read their profile.

    Something like 'oh, I saw you mentioned that you enjoyed sailing - I've never actually been sailing, but I love going camping and hiking and all sorts of other outdoor activities! We seem really suited'

    The 'we should try to chat sometime' part is really... boring. Tell me something about you that's not on your profile. At least try to write a decent paragraph. If someone wrote to me with less than a paragraph, or not even an open ended question it would be deleted immediately.

    Edit: you should also try to ask them a question about themselves. If they've got a picture of them on a boat, ask them where they were. If they've got a picture of them with a group of girls, tell them they looked like they were all having fun that night, did they end up having a good night after all? Girls (generally) like men to be interested in them. So be interested, and interesting!

  5. #5

    Default

    OK the height thing may be a small problem but nothing that confidence and some charm can't overcome but your message is bland and unoriginal, I'm sure those women get plenty of messages like that and just delete them. You need to stand out from the crowd and just say that little bit more. What interests do you share? Try and pick one interest that you both have and elaborate a bit, if it is reading ask her what she is reading right now or to recommend a book and the same could go for movies and games. If she likes the same sports as you then ask her if she supports a team and then do a little bit of sports talk. Basically don't ask her if she would like to chat but just start chatting to her in your message, she may not respond and that is OK but if you keep trying like that then you will hopefully find someone who will respond.

  6. #6

    Default

    I actually do actually have one like sort of like that.

    I do wonder what the female's side experience on the sites and how they react to everything. Would it be creepy to send to often, I would like to try again.

    Also do I have any chance of females actually messaging me?


    edit: that was a response to talula

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SubterraneanSun View Post
    I actually do actually have one like sort of like that.

    I do wonder what the female's side experience on the sites and how they react to everything. Would it be creepy to send to often, I would like to try again.

    Also do I have any chance of females actually messaging me?


    edit: that was a response to talula
    Truthfully, I've never been a member of a dating site, so I can't tell you what I would react, but I would say leave it a month or so before re-messaging their profile. No one wants to feel harassed!

    And no, for the most part females don't actually message men on dating sites!

  8. #8

    Default

    Okay I'm meeting someone else with aspergers somewhere next week, maybe. This thread really help me from at least having a brain stoppage. It won't really be a date, unless we agree to have a date randomly for the sake of having a date which might happen. It wasn't asymetical to be expect from normal male-female relation. It might also lead to nothing.

  9. #9

    Default

    Online dating can be the biggest hit or miss for a lot of people, and this goes especially to those that have never done it before. The free ones take quite a lot more work, the paid ones take a bit a work and a lot of your money. So trying not to be long winded, here's some of the things I discovered having done Ok Cupid, Plenty of Fish, and E-Harmony at one point.

    1. Have a ton of information on your profile (as honestly and less creepy as possible about it. Act like this is being published in a book. Unless your're a famous Gonzo journalist, no one wants to to know, or will date someone that slamed 20 beers and did a line of coke the other night. I'd keep fishing at the bar)

    2. Have a couple good looking profile pics of your real self. No fetish pics. No beer chugging pics, no anime/car pics. No shirtless pics in front of the mirror. No obvious camera phone pics in weird ass angles. No creeper or duck faces. Have a couple smiling.

    3. There's not really such thing as Tl;DR things here, unless you honestly write a novel. 7 paragraphs, 3-4 sentences each is plenty. Lists of miscellaneous interests help break that down. Separate things, good spelling, good grammar.

    4. Take a bunch of those retarded tests that are somewhat better than the rest of them. Answer questions. They're stupid, but a lot actually pay attention to them.

    5. It is honestly the stereotypical phone call game here with messages. Send one. Receive one. It's a very subtle etiquette.

    6. Have some meat and potatoes on your profile. No one gives two craps you like Faygo Rock and Rye or the color blue.



    Quote Originally Posted by Talula
    And no, for the most part females don't actually message men on dating sites!
    I got 4 dates from one site I didn't initiate :/ . I guess it's sort of dumb luck, though as some I really had to work at.

    There's a certain culture and style that works best once you become acclimatized really quick that helps. Other times it's really luck.

    Best point to make: You will get discouraged doing online dating. Don't take it personally. And don't try too hard.

  10. #10

    Wink



    Quote Originally Posted by pajamakitten View Post
    OK the height thing may be a small problem...
    Ohhhhhh ... that's beautiful!

    (Sorry -- I'm a punaholic!)

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