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Thread: The option to leave.

  1. #1

    Default The option to leave.

    It has come up in most of my posts that perhaps I should leave my diaper hating husband. It has even come up in therapy. My therapist doesn't see much hope for the marriage and tried to convince me that staying with him is a choice. I haven't felt much like it is because my job doesn't pay enough to support me. However, today I have officially started searching for better employment so that it really is a choice.

    Today I managed to write an awesome resume for jobs in my field and applied for two different jobs that I am qualified for at our local university. There are other jobs that I know I can apply for, but the application process takes forever even with an already complete resume, so I will wait on that until tomorrow. I feel more exhausted than I do after a day of bike riding, but also happy because I am doing what I can about my situation.

    I have a friend who knows about what I am going through and he has offered to help me find a job, which he did today by helping with the resume. I am lucky to have someone in my life who is good at this and believes in me and can help me before I have panic attacks while working on my resume.

    In conclusion, as I told him:
    I may not have the option to leave right now, but I do have the option to work on getting myself a better job so that in the future I can make that choice. Not looking for a better job and whining that my job doesn't pay enough to support me is a choice, and one that I am no longer going to make.

  2. #2


    I hate the feeling of being trapped, it's awful.

    I don't have it nearly as bad but my roommate and I used to be romantically involved and we just....stopped. We don't hate each other, in fact we still quite love each other as sister and sister, but because I don't make enough to support myself on my own, nor do I have the ability to drive, I'm kinda trapped here with her. It's not necessarily bad but if I say want to get involved with someone even in just the next town over, she has to drive me there and immediately becomes involved.

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this yourself. It would be one thing if he just didn't want anything to do with it but let you do it on your own time, in private or whatever, but from the context I gather that he's not the type to even want it in the household?

  3. #3


    This is a rather large step to be making, though I can understand why you are doing it. Having a significant other who routinely expresses disdain for something you take such joy in(though he may not know you take joy in it), can be extremely detrimental to the stability of a relationship. It can, in fact, be such a destructive force that it dissolves any bond you two might share. Even if this weren't a fetish, even if this were something as simple as a band you liked, having your significant other constantly griping on and on about how, "This band sucks, their lyrics are complete garbage and I have no idea how anyone can stand to listen to them," any time one of their songs played on the radio or over the loudspeaker in a public setting would only serve to divide the partnership.

    I saw in one of your earlier posts, I think(forgive me if I've mistaken you for somebody else, I can be rather forgetful) that your husband had a previous relationship with somebody from the AB/DL community, and while I can understand a certain degree of confusion on his part as to why anyone would want to wear diapers, I cannot understand the hatred. I know people who regularly talk about BDSM, whips, chains, Master/Slave relationships etc., and I cannot understand how these things turn people on, but I don't begrudge them their fun, nor do I think it fair that we as a community are under such an obligation to hide what we are when people in the BDSM communities and other more socially accepted fetishes don't feel such an obligation.

    I hope everything goes well, though I'm sorry to see any relationship end in such a fashion. I hope you'll let to poor fellow down easily enough, though I'm afraid to say that anything you do will most certainly upset him to some degree or another. No need to make the end any more bitter than need be, however, so best of luck to you and to your future ex-husband as well. Hopefully your next relationship will be a happier one.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by CycleChick View Post

    In conclusion, as I told him:
    I may not have the option to leave right now, but I do have the option to work on getting myself a better job so that in the future I can make that choice. Not looking for a better job and whining that my job doesn't pay enough to support me is a choice, and one that I am no longer going to make.
    well said, and good for you!
    that is taking your Power back.....

  5. #5


    I am kinda in similar situation as you. I am married but my wife growing to dislike my DL side and diapers over the time, especially in recent months. It caused some serious issues between us and we even thought about divorce. At the moment, it's still not fully resolved or come to a decision on whether to stay married or not. Divorce will be last resort though.

    I haven't wear diapers for months and I miss the freedom of wearing diaper whenever I want. DL is always will be a part of me, regardless. She seem can't accept that and hoping that will go away forever. Also, she thinks that I should go to therapy to get the sex life back on track and get rid of my DL side. It's almost as bad as if I live in 1950s and been suggested to go to therapy to cure my homosexuality, in my opinion.

    Anyway, I wish you the best and good luck to find someone new that accepts who you are. =)

  6. #6


    I'd say it's a good idea to become independent in case something goes wrong, but it sounds to me like you've written off your marriage. Maybe it's wise to try to work something out. Yeah, he may poke fun of his ex (if I remember correctly) and claim he'd hate ABs or diapers. But many people have prejudices and claim they'd never get involved with a person from a certain place, of a certain race or religion, but then fall in love with someone and just realize they had a stupid unfounded prejudice.
    Give it a try. You know how your husband feels about AB/DL in general, or his ex, but you don't know how he feels about you. After all, he married you, with all your flaws and problems, with all your beauty and positive aspects. Can't have one without the other, and maybe he's so deeply in want/need of your positive aspects that he may be able to live past your "flaws" (from his point of view).


  7. #7


    try if nothing works leave Dont take any shit from him and do not allow him to get stupid I just applied at a major University as well for a job hoping to hear
    Live your life you should not have to give any thing up or make changes if they c accept you for you keep looking you Go Girl

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