Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Buying diapers after coming out.

  1. #1

    Question Buying diapers after coming out.

    Nine days ago I finally came out to my therapist as DL. He told me that now that it is no longer a secret things would change greatly for me, but I didn't believe him at all. As it turns out they really have changed. Not only have I gotten on this site, my diaper buying experience has changed as well. It used to be the most difficult thing for me to do. I would have panic attacks, take an hour just to get to the diaper isle, and then walk down it only to chicken out. It was a miracle that I ever managed to get out of the store with diapers.

    Then I came out. That very day I went and bought myself some Disney Pull-Ups. I wanted girly designs and finally felt brave enough to buy them. It was incredibly hard, I still spent over an hour in the store trying to muster up the courage. But I managed to get what I went in for.

    Then I joined this site. It seems to have given me even more just to be talking to other people, to feel normal, etc.

    I decided I really wanted to try Goodnites. They are bigger, have super girly designs, and I just simply wanted to. So instead of doing what I'd normally do and wait until I ran out of the others, I just went to the store. As always, I was anxious, but not nearly as anxious as I had been last week. In fact, I walked in proudly, despite the anxiety (because being DL is awesome!) and did nothing but walk right to the isle, grab, the diapers, and check out. I didn't even bother getting a basket to put them in to hide them. I was in and out of the store in five minutes. It was such a radically different experience than I'd had before. I had moments of panic - what would people think? - but then I reminded myself that it's okay to be DL! I *like* being DL, so why would I feel ashamed if people think I'm weird? It was a whole new level of comfort with myself that I hadn't experienced before.

    So now I have the diapers. LOVE the adorable girly designs. Wish they were more absorbent, but oh well... it's not like I get a chance to stay in them for long at this point.

    As a side note, has anyone used any kind of booster pad with Goodnites? Did it work well?

  2. #2


    Wow, I have to say your post is inspiring. I'm glad that you felt accepted/normal when you sighed up here, that's how it should be. You're right no one should be ashamed of being who they are it's just incredibly difficult to not feel ashamed when the majority of society frowns on this behavior. In my opinion there's nothing wrong with BF/DL/AB ism because of two very important's not hurting anyone and you like it. I'm glad I read this post as I said it was inspiring I wish you the best in life. Good luck.

    ~ Sidenote~ oh and to awnser your question, no I haven't.

    - Chance

  3. #3


    Good for you! We're all proud of you. Since telling my wife and therapist, life is totally better. There are still some tough times, but I'm glad I did it as well. Very inspiring...go for it!

  4. #4


    Congrats! Sounds an awful lot like me before today, coincidentally enough. Nice to see that I'm not the only one here who enjoys girls Goodnites (they're so cute!). As for the absorbency, they work just fine for me, never leaked or anything. Protip (for those who are nervous about buying): the cashier's job is to ring you up, not to prod into why you're buying something. I do find that it seems slightly less-suspicious if you buy girls diapers since you could easily pass it off as buying for a sister/daughter/whatever (I passed my most recent pack of girls Goodnites off as buying for my sister).

  5. #5


    When I am face to face with people I am real shy so it is hard for me to a actually buy them. I went to walgreens this morning to buy some adult pull ups but had no idea what to buy and as I was standing there looking at all the different diapers a pharmacist walked around the corner and asked if I needed any help. I said no thank you and as soon as he walked away I was so anxious I almost ran out of the store. After calming down I went back about 6pm, lucky for me the isle was empty so I had a couple minutes to decide what to get. I was nervous about what the cashier would say but he just made small talk about the rain so I felt a lot better.

    I wish I had your courage. Right now the only people who know I am a DL are the nice people on this site. Due to my childhood I don't trust therapists so it would be hard for me to come out to one if I was going to one.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by xtrabulk View Post
    Good for you! We're all proud of you. Since telling my wife and therapist, life is totally better. There are still some tough times, but I'm glad I did it as well. Very inspiring...go for it!
    How did telling your wife go? I'm totally terrified of telling my husband, but he had an ex who was AB and he dumped her for it. He continues to insult her, entirely for the diaper part, to this day.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by KingSphinx View Post
    As for the absorbency, they work just fine for me, never leaked or anything. Protip (for those who are nervous about buying): the cashier's job is to ring you up, not to prod into why you're buying something. I do find that it seems slightly less-suspicious if you buy girls diapers since you could easily pass it off as buying for a sister/daughter/whatever (I passed my most recent pack of girls Goodnites off as buying for my sister).
    LOL mine leaked! But I somehow manage to leak through everything. I enjoy desperation also, so I end up with large, quick wettings, which I think is the problem.

    I never go through a checkout line. I go to a Walmart that is a couple towns away and go through the self-check so that I don't have to deal with interacting with someone who might ask weird questions. Helps calm the anxiety knowing that I won't have to make up stories for anyone.
    Last edited by Trevor; 01-Sep-2012 at 17:59. Reason: removing auto-merged duplicate posts.

  7. #7


    I've used boosters with Goodnights. Well, not actual booster pads, but I've put Poise pads into the Goodnights. I always get the Ultimates (they are the biggest ones) and they actually hold a decent amount. Anytime I wear Goodnights I do this and it helps alot; I love the childish look of Goodnights but they really dont hold anything!

  8. #8


    To go along with everyone else, Congratulations!!! Everyone deserves happiness and acceptance in their lives. And it seems as though you are on the right track. As far as telling your husband, it sounds as though it will be extremly hard to get his acceptance. Thats crazy that he had a similar experience with his ex before you. This definitly don't seem to help your cause. The only advice I can give you on this is. Timing is crucial, you definitly don't want to do it at the wrong time. It's gonna be a big surprise for him anyways and chances are, to begin with he's going to be thinking, how is this happening again? Be patient and pick a good time when you think his mind set would be at its best to deal with this. Maybe when you all are have a good conversation and hes being more open torward you about something. Only you know your husband and when it will be best. With my wife, I came out to her with a note. It's more comfortable for us to write notes. I can express my feeling more with the nervousness of talking face to face. Plus it gave her time to soak up the news and to think without confronting you on the issue right after. And last but not least, way the pros and cons of your situation if you chose to tell him. Are you ready and willing to accept the worst case scenario of him leaving you? Are you ready and willing to give this up for him if he was to ask you? For me I was not ready to accept my wife leaving me, but I decided if it meant problems with her, I was willing to give this up. It was obviously a risk because I didn't know how she would respond. But I knew she was an open minded person who admired people for being who they wanted to be. She did tell me if I had said something at the beginning of our relationship when she didn't really know me, it could have cause us to not move forward. But if I would have told her 20 years down the road she would have been upset. For the record i told her after 6 years into our relationship. So just think of every possible scenario and take your time. Good luck, and I wish you all the happiness in the futur and hope things continue to look up for you!!!

    Sorry if I jumped off your original topic.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by Painn View Post
    Sorry if I jumped off your original topic.
    Nah, that's cool. It is something I have thought about extensively. I have an awesome therapist who has helped us with marriage problems in the past. While we officially ended couple's counseling so that I felt safe in individual counseling, my therapist has a few other therapists he trusts enough to refer us to for when we need it. I would not want to have this conversation alone with my husband- in almost any difficult conversation I need an ally because I have trouble sticking up for myself.

    My husband also knows that I have a secret. He doesn't know it is sexual, but he knows something is going on with me that is causing me to act kinda funny around him pretty much all the time. In a way I think it will be a relief for everyone once I am ready for the conversations. I am sure he will react badly, but not in the way that most people would expect.

    My therapist and I have gone over the worst-case scenarios of him finding out and here is what we concluded: 1) He is totally in love with me and would never leave me. 2) He is also a very judgmental person and thinks the world should change to accommodate him and his needs. 3) He will simply tell me that I need to find a way to not be DL so that our relationship will work. 4) This is a part of me that not only am I not willing to get rid of, I can't get rid of it. 5) I will not accept his demand that I change for him and will eventually leave him.

    We have fleshed it out in much greater detail than that, but we are both fairly certain that it's going to go down that way. Sometimes I think it would be easiest to just leave now - assuming I could find a job that would support me; my current one doesn't - and never have to deal with all this. However, I'm starting to see my therapist's point of view that I need to actually deal with this and tell him, even if it goes badly (he also keeps trying to convince me that I will be okay, but I don't entirely believe him on that either!)

    I am happy to hear that your wife has been so awesome. You are lucky to have someone who is open-minded and accepting of people. Somehow in the 6 1/2 years my husband have been together he has gone from open-minded to righteously judgmental. I also have a great deal of hesitation about telling him because I am not sure he would have the decency not to out me to our mutual friends. Luckily for his ex, no one ever knew her- he met her online and she wasn't friends with his friends- so when he bashes her and tells her secrets, no one knows who she is. But with me, I'm the only woman he's been married to and everyone in his life knows me or knows who I am. This concerns me very much because I don't think he would be able to contain himself, especially if I ended our relationship.
    Last edited by Trevor; 02-Sep-2012 at 06:37. Reason: removing auto-merged duplicate post.

  10. #10


    It sounds to me like you have done your homework on the matter. Follow your heart and do what makes you happy in life. You mentioned needing an ally. If you decide to take the leap and tell him, maybe consider letting the therapist sit down and have a heart to heart with him alone. Coming from your therapist, who seems to be good at what he/she does I think would give him a completly different view of the situation and he/she could address any issues your husband may have before he confronts you about it. Seems like a good idea to me anyway. Anyways, good luck and I wish you the best! I hope you figure this out soon and continue leaving the life you want to live.

Similar Threads

  1. Diapers coming in handy
    By Piplup in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 27-Mar-2012, 17:49
  2. Seen buying diapers
    By BabyJohn in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 20-Mar-2010, 20:40
  3. Buying Diapers
    By David315 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 19-Jul-2009, 09:39

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.