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Thread: wife problems.

  1. #1

    Default wife problems.

    I have been with my wife for almost a year and a half now. We actually dated back in high school but she left me for a friend. Eight or nine years later, I bumped into her after I got out of army. We started talking and soon afterwards began to date.

    I told her all of my kinks (abdl, pegging,lingerie) right off the bat to ensure I wasn't about to waste my time with loosing someone down the road. She was cool with it for a while. While we were dating we would go get a hotel room and fool around and she would even baby me some. This was something we used to do every now and then.

    Gradually, she got to where she didn't care for it much. Fast forward to past few months and it seems like she outright hates it. If I try to ask her about it, its almost like shes beating around the bush or tries to make up something new every time. Shes even gotten to where she resents the lingerie wearing aswell.

    She resents me being abdl and I am beginning to resent her for trying to change me. I told her I was tired of the resentfulness it and we argued for a few minutes. The next day she apologized and said we would talk about it tomorrow (today).

    I don't know what to tell her that I already haven't tried to. Any advice?

  2. #2


    Sadly this sounds like its something she might have to talk to you about, just make it clear you are you and you and her shouldn't have to change, if she does not like it come to some mid way so your both happy it might be just you a lone time but its better then you and her fighting about it.

    Hugs I hope you go well and please if you up for it tell us how it all goes.

  3. #3

    Default wife problems.

    Is this wife getting her needs met? Sexually? Emotionally? These are very important issues in a mutually rewarding relationship. If you are meeting her needs and she no longer wants to reciprocate, you have a problem to deal with.

  4. #4


    My thoughts is that the two of you need to be honest with each other, simple as that. Just sit down, talk (be truthful) and don't interrupt each other when speaking.

    However it seems like she thought it was something that would go away, but it doesn't sound like she's actively trying to have you stop being ab/dl if she's only not partaking in her role of it.

  5. #5


    As far as sex goes, it's good when we do. It's become rare that we do though. I can't even hardly get her to cuddle when we go to bed lately. I feel like we are are growing apart aswell.

    She seems to be avoiding talking about it at the moment. Guess shes hoping I will go to bed and end up forgetting all about it.

    I feel like shes being two faced. Shes generally very confrontational. Not about this subject though. She tried to make me quit a bit back. I told her it would be a bad idea but decided to see where it went.

  6. #6


    I have been through the same situation. My wife and I even attended counceling where I shared with the councelor my true feelings. For most of us we can not change. I know I made an effort to supress my feelings to wear panties, maxi-pads, and diapers but in the end I always turned back to what made me feel happy..being a sissy. It is difficult for a woman to be atrracted to a man who is feminine. Her chemistry makes her desire a man, strong and virile. A husband who wears diapers does not fill that need. For my wife it is hard for her to be sexually attracted to me as a sissy. Yet I want to live my life as a sissy. So what do you do? You compromise. For most of us, our wives are going to have to make more compromises and sacificies than us. Our desires to be who we are all the time means that she will have to accept that or move on. My wife accepted that I am going to live as a sissy. She agreed to deal with washing her husbands panties and seeing her partner's soiled diapers in the trash can. When you live life as a sissy or an adult baby the evidence is all around. The smell of baby powder or feminine deodarant spray, maxi-pad wrappers or baby wipes overflowing in the trash. It continually reminds her of who she is married to. If she does not completely accept you for who you are then over time she will begin to resent you for it. Only she can accept you for who you are. There is nothing you can do to make her to do so. The biggest key to that is love. If two people love each other enough, they can overcome anything. Remember that. You can control how much you love her. I remember when my wife and I were close to leaving one another over numerous issues to include being a sissy, the single most important thing I did was started to love her again. I treated her like she was the center of my life and that she was my everything. That leads into the next most important thing, trust. You are going to wear diapers and lingerie, do not hide it from her. Sneeking behind her back and being dishonest is the worst thing you could possible do. Now that does not mean parade in front of her in just your diaper. Do not rub it in her face. I used to hide my maxi-pads and diapers and lived almost a second life. She had no clue. I was so wrong. If wearing a diaper or panties is who you are be that person. Talk with her and try to help her understand. Accepting you for who you are does not mean that she will ever understand. My wife has insecurities that panties and diapers are more important than her. That is where you have to convince her otherwise. Also, acceptance does not mean there are not boundries. My wife has set rules with my lifestyle. If she has accepted you for who you are then it is your duty to respect those boundries. Like I said before, she will be making more of a compromise than you. Now for intimacy. This is hard for my wife. She wants to reach down her man's pants and not feel a maxi-pad. It ruins the mood for her. In my situation, if she is hot and bothered, I quicky take my panties off so that she feels she is not with a woman. Our sex life is different than most. She needs to be made love to at times as all woman do but I am not so equipped to satisfy her. That is where we turn to martial aids. We both enjoy this, she gets satisfied and I do too. I hope some of this helps. I know everyone is different. Do everything you can to help her accept you or to change. If you can not accomplish that then you may want to consider moving on. Do not make her life miserable and most importantly, do not live your life unhappy.

  7. #7


    Be completely honest, if you want to say something to her about it then now is the time to do so. The important thing to remind her is that this is next to impossible to stop completely so it will be with you for the rest of the marriage, if she doesn't like that then it may be time to consider divorce or at least counselling. She can also use this time to get everything off her chest so let her say what she wants as well, perhaps it's only something simple that she doesn't like and has been afraid to bring it up. Unless you were to show her Understanding Infantilism I doubt there is much you could say that you haven't, just say it all and leave the decision to her.

  8. #8


    I went back to the bedroom to talk to her last night. I took up an interest in what she was doing (watching anime of some sort) to help ease the mood a bit. After what might have been an hour, I initiated conversation about it. Honestly, it felt like getting a second chance to come out about it an explain it. I really think it did some good. She said we would talk about it some more today as it was getting late. We cuddled all night which is a rarity lately, and If she wasn't in a need for some padding herself at the moment, we probably would have made the most passionate love ever.

    I really appreciate the advice guys. Hugs n thank you

  9. #9


    Hope it works out for you!

    Best wishes

  10. #10


    Remember, she may have acted comfortable at first with it, but may not have been really comfortable with it. This may not be the case, but if it is then just back off for awhile. Give her a break from doing the things you like and do the things she likes. You can't have a one way relationship, even if you are the "baby", you need to make sure your "mommy" or "daddy" is getting what they need out of the relationship.
    You must also understand that after dating for awhile people can grow to get annoyed by each other. Like for example my fiance leaves his plates and cups everywhere, and it irritates the hell out of me. Now when I see a cup or a plate on the floor I just giggle to myself and think about how he needs me to take care of him. If it is that you guys are getting "sick" of each other, then find a way to shrug of the irritation. Stress and anger are not a good reason to ruin something between two people that are in love very much.
    Good lucks, and I hope that everything works out. Remember that inside you always know what to do, its just a matter of listening.
    Last edited by dbtim59; 19-Aug-2012 at 18:24. Reason: typo

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