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Thread: Confiding in close friends

  1. #1

    Default Confiding in close friends

    Confiding in close friends

    I have a really lovely friend that I have a very strong empathic connection with that I have a close emotional relationship with and a working creative relationship with this is not sexual just very good friends and this is perfect, she is a wonderful being and shining star.
    Now I have noticed a certain natural synergistic dynamics that is accering as I have been coming to peace with my infantisum facet over the past few months. That when im up set and frustrated with something she has a way that defuses my tension that has been sometimes transformed into tears this is something I find so difficult. she takes on a mother like role and holds me, talks to me and strokes me like a little child she has a very beautiful and powerful and positive effect on me changing a destructive emotion and catalysing a positive channelling of these emotions.
    Now she is almost 11 years younger than me as she is 21 and I am 32 and find my self giving much emotional and practical support to and finding a balance between being firm but fair and understanding as she has little life experience in the working environment an we are in business together with an artistic progect so I am playing the role as father/ mother protecting and gideing which she loves very much. We both have had a very dysfunctional family passed and this dynamics is both mysterious and wonderful as it has just accrued to me.
    Now I have been wondered whether I should confide in her this infantisum facet as I think she more than suspects as I mentioned that we are strongly empaticaly connected some times uncomfortably so.
    And I think she court a glim's of my nappy's the other day. we were living in a very small van for three weeks together very difficult to to hide, me wearing nappy's. Though I tried to protect my secret although ive wanted to tell her because I love and trust her and sometimes the voice of the collective social ignorants is ringing in my head making me feel so dirty and unclean and even evil for what do. I although I no this is not the truth some times I feel so alone and want some one to tell me its OK.
    Although I am tonight communicating more freely than the first time I told some one on this subject to any one that is interested and I apologise for my lengthy ramblings and this is so liberating talking to a groop with common parallels. would this truth be something that will strengthen are relationship and aid my process of accepting my self to talk to a friend I love but at the present keep secrets from her that makes an suttle but uncomftabal air sometimes becouse she know i keeping secrets or is there the a danger of freaking her out and loosing a lot.
    I have once before opened up a little with a girl in a sexual situation well I very shyly showed her a nappy and asked her permission I was answered with a little shock but she very sweetly accomadated me and found it quit endearing and said i was very sweet. But some how this is new and more uncertain as I have to use my voise initially.
    Has any one got any experience or advice.

    Roo love xx

  2. #2


    Well, on one hand you can tell her and hope she won't be disgusted. If she truly is a great person, and you have a wonderful relationship with her, she shouldn't be disgusted. However, things like this often show you some hidden aspects of people, so I'd still be wary to tell her. It's a risk, no doubt, but as you said, you need someone to tell you infantilism is okay.

    Unfortunately, you could end up losing a wonderful friend. And as a result, you lose her babying you, and you need to find a better way to relieve stress. That would be an upsetting situation, and it wouldn't surprise me if that happened. There are just some things people can't handle, and a lot of people can't handle infantilism, especially if it's sexual to you (and I don't know if it is).

    You stated that you feel dirty, unclean, and evil for your infantilistic acts. Until you feel comfortable and accepting of your acts, I recommend you don't tell her. Usually if you feel badly about infantilism, the other person will too. The same goes for the opposite: If you feel comfortable with infantilism, the other person will too, most likely.

  3. #3


    2 questions for you, why are you trying to use huge complicated words? Just curious, you teach like college English or somthing lol?

    And secondly, if you didnt' want here to find out about you wearing, why were you wearing while you were living in a van? I mean, did you think she wouldn't find out?


  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by roomoocatfish View Post
    Has any one got any experience or advice.
    Roo love xx
    Yeah, Proof read your posts. I'm not joking, nor am I trying to be mean, but that was painful to read. Using college vocabulary doesn't work well with primary school syntax and grammar.

    Other than that, I've let several friends know over the years. Their reactions were either positive, or indifferent. The one exception being my best friend who thought I should get a cure since it seemed either weird or unhealthy to him.

  5. #5


    I have to go with what Maverick said. I might add that even if you do feel good about it, she may still freak. If she's a very good friend, you ought to know how liberal or uptight she is about many other types of things. What is her view on homosexuality, and other alternative lifestyles? You certainly could approach the subject in a much more general way. If of course she saw or noticed your diaper in the van, then it's a done deal anyway, and you might as well discuss it. If she's babying you, I think she will be open to it.

  6. #6


    I tend to not tell anyone. Friends today mabie not so tomorrow. If you and a friend should for some reason go your seperate ways they could use this otherwise privet info to imbarrace or hurt you.

  7. #7


    She sounds to be so close to you that it shouldnt matter to her. My relation with my best friend reminds me of yours. And it was really hard when I told him. But oh boy what good it fellt when he said it wasnt so bad and could have been something worse. There is no-one I love as much as that guy but its not sexual! But sometimes I wonder if fate brought us together. He is my brother(not by blood though but yeah thats how close we are) so if you want to tell her just do it! and hope for the best! what you could do is write down some words or sentence's if you want to inform her of it so she knows more of it. And then later on show her one of those information sites like bittergreys den. Thats what I did and yeah it worked perfectly! Good Luck!

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Johnathon View Post
    And secondly, if you didnt' want here to find out about you wearing, why were you wearing while you were living in a van? I mean, did you think she wouldn't find out?
    I have that question too Jonathon haha.

    Anyways sounds like you two are really close, I believe that you should o a head and tell here, since she most likely knows. Of course there is the risk of her rejecting the idea of it, which in turn would hinder or tear apart your relationship.

    Although in my opinion from what you have said about her, I believe she might accept it. Like I said because she probably already knows and if she does and has said nothing about it, she obviously does not mind that you wear diapers. Secondly she seems to not only hug you but cuddle you and coo you into a happy cry from being cuddled and cooed (sp?) Most girls do not like over sensitive guys and do not like doing what you described she does, so that already makes her a little more likely to accept the baby side of it since she has mothering qaulities.

    Good luck and let us know what happened, even though you probably won't since you havnt posted in weeks. -_-

  9. #9


    I have had a simliar experience. My great friend that I met up at University is a smiliar type of person. She is very loving and caring. She also is a hardcore church goer which kinda stopped me from telling her in the beginning. She used to tell me about lots of things and was very open with sharing personal things.
    I figured, geeze you know I have been there for this girl when she was at every emotional crossroad, when she was sick and when she was wasn't, so I thought that I kinda deserved some sort of emotional support too--not to be selfish though.

    When I told her, I figured she would freak but she ended up letting me know how special it made her feel and that she was entrusted with such information. Things couldn't have come out better........although she said firmly "NO DIRTY DIAPERS"...and complains when I walk around in heavily soaked diapers.

    oh... adendum to my post above.

    The age gap between us is a 4 years. I am 23 and she is 19(both in college at the time). She kinda thinks of me as a big brother. So there is that close bond type thing going.
    Last edited by Martin; 14-Nov-2008 at 15:30. Reason: Merging doublepost, use the edit button

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