Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Musician looking for trouth!

  1. #1

    Red face Musician looking for trouth!

    I guess I'm ready to speak of myself

    Good day everybody on ADISC!

    I'm really happy to find so many thinking people gathering together to fight fears and misunderstanding.. no I'd better go and check out the cheat-sheet

    The official society knows me as a student of some academy of arts and a freelancer in multimedia like video-recording, VFX, webdesign, CG and stuff.. I'm not quite a professional, just an amateur, but I love it.

    Also I'm a music composer like many nowadays.I used to play piano, acoustic guitar and flute. Currently I try to sing more and record my compositions in sequencers like Reason and FL Studio. And MUSIC itself is what I imagine to be the most important part of me!

    If there are any composers out there - feel free to talk to me as I love sharing thoughts about music even if it is not mastered properly.

    How much I love music:

    And finally what I found out a while ago - I am a Diaper Lover with a little tune of Little girl theme (Sometimes I love putting on my wifes' clothes and imagine I am also a female).

    A little more of my bedwetting biography:


    By 5-th class, when I was about 14 I first time saw a wonderful girl who finally turned into my spouse. But then we just knew each other as classmates. That is the time when I had a chance to realize how much I am really into diaper thing, but I didn't know WHAT ABDL is!

    So I wandered on the Internet, watching different porn, suspecting myself to be a gay or maybe even a pedophile, but then BINGO: I suddenly realized that I was neither of them , because I found some Adults ENJOYING wearing diapers.. and then I firstly learned what a fetish is.

    (Don't get me wrong! I do accept and cheer homosexuals, and all fetishists, I don't tolerate these to things: pedophilia and homophobia)

    By 15 my physical bedwetting and some other illnesses were cured with homeopathy, but not my addiction. My future beloved started attracting me more and more, she even dated me, but I wasn't shire that I am able to have a normal family while staying with this fetish. And after a year or two of being together I told her all I knew about my inner fears and desires... guess what?

    She accepted me! She didn't fear that, despite she've never heard of anything like that.We are still together. And are going to marry soon (I just need to somehow get a job that won't take too much time in order to stay in university).

    I started earning a little money of my own (thow I live with parents, but it won't last long) and I eventually bought myself diapers. I've tried a lot, had a lot of fun learning to put myself in it, taking bath in a regular diaper when nobody is home, putting a full sized adult diaper over a drynite pullup..

    If you have some more interesting games that you are playing in your diapers share it here I want to know what you think and what turns you on the most!

    But all this time I've been searching in my mind, psychologic books and even on the internet for THE CURE for that fetishism.

    At a certain point I've found the great BitterGrey, read all what he's wrote and found many answers, but that wasn't enough. I was in these bind and purge cycles he wrote about. I found some more good guys who've been writhing about similar problems of self acceptance and acceptance of God...

    ..but that would be very close to the end of my suffering if not one little thing.When I FEEL a relies of any pain or when I put an end to some need whether it is a need to SLEEP or EAT or listen to music or have sex or the fulfillment of any other wish - I FEEL CONSCIOUSNESS, but when I decide to put on another diaper the last thing I REMEMBER is LOOSING CONSCIOUSNESS and giving up any arguments inside.

    What I fear is if it is some sort of a mental monster takes control over my mind and when the pain of bang "plugged" into this matrix is forgotten - there is NOTHING but happiness.. but this so called happiness leaves a synthetic taste in mouth when you wake up from this dream.

    I want to live happy life of a responsible adult, but I am afraid of bang either a slave of imposed desires OR missing an opportunity to give myself what I really want if it IS what I REALLY WANT.

    I have already done some psychological research and will do some more psychological practices about my DL THIS WEEK.
    More about my psychoweek:

    ADISC! I need your help! Please! Help me accept myself as one I am or help me find doubtless proof that it IS some sort of soul-trap of the dark side! I won't calm down until I find out one or another. I'll be glad to be among you all, because I've seen really cool people here. And if I'll find that I'm ok - I'll just be happy to dissolve in happiness of that community, being a part of it, and if I find the cure to AB/DL - I'll tell you too, in case if somebody wants to get rid of it too.

    I LOVE YOU ALL!

    P.S: if you doubt any part of my story, feel the rise of BS meter or just want to listen to some part of story more detailed - say that and I'll try to tell more avoiding personal data, because I don't wanna be found out by many people I know.

    P.P.S: Sorry for my poor level of English, I hope I didn't make any mistakes that make the idea hard to catch, but if I did - let me know please and I'll do my best editing!

  2. #2

    Default

    Welcome to the site NaranjaColor. This certainly is the right site if you are trying to accept this strange fetish. I think most of us would say that when we were young, we had a great deal of trouble accepting ourselves. This certainly was true in my case. I enjoyed sports, weight lifted, dated and yet I was compelled to find something that resembled a diaper, and use it. I hated myself for it. Eventually I got caught by my mom and she took me to a psychiatrist. He wasn't concerned about it at all.

    I think the secret is that you keep your life in balance. There is a time for diapers, and a time for everything else. I married, keeping my desire for diapers a secret. Eventually my wife discovered my diapers and I had to confess. She was very understanding and even asked me if I had enough supplies. She buys me onsies, footed jammies and plushies and toys. At the same time, I am very considerate of her. I try not to stay in a wet diaper too long so I won't smell, etc.

    When we were starting our family, I put the diapers on the back burner, and made sure that I pleasured my wife. Like I said, there is a time and place for everything. I was able to find time for diapers at different times during the day. I think you'll figure this out for yourself.

    Being on ADISC is a great place for support. The fact that you'll become involved in threads and thus, conversations concerning diapers, wearing them, what kinds to get, etc. will make you feel better about it. One thing I've realized is that there are a lot of us diaper lovers throughout the world. An entire industry has grown up around us, just to meet our adult diaper needs. It's expensive to create a start up business, much less an industry large enough to produce the wide variety of adult diapers, especially the ones that cater to adult babies, cloth diapers, plastic pants, footed jammies, onsies and everything else. You're in good company.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I hated myself for it. Eventually I got caught by my mom and she took me to a psychiatrist. He wasn't concerned about it at all.
    I wonder how the conversation was going)) I always imagin myself confessing someone.. like to a priest or another doctor or whoever.. I've confessed mom once, but she didn't accept me, and I fell how deep she was unsure what to do with what she has faced. It seemed to me, that she looks at me a little differently after all and then I acted that I "gave it up" and lied to her. And despite I understand that there is 1 or maybe 2% that she DID believe me, I hate what I did anyways..(
    Because there was NOT ANY actual need to lie.. just a simple animal-like fear..


    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I think the secret is that you keep your life in balance.
    I guess that is wise advise.. with all the plans I've been thinking of already, I haven't yet minded one like that,.. yeah.. because I still don't know if I am guilty of it or not and whether the decision to put a diaper on is already a guilt of being unresponsible.
    That's why all my thoughts were more.. extreme.. like black and white.


    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Being on ADISC is a great place for support. The fact that you'll become involved in threads and thus, conversations concerning diapers, wearing them, what kinds to get, etc. will make you feel better about it. One thing I've realized is that there are a lot of us diaper lovers throughout the world. An entire industry has grown up around us, just to meet our adult diaper needs. It's expensive to create a start up business, much less an industry large enough to produce the wide variety of adult diapers, especially the ones that cater to adult babies, cloth diapers, plastic pants, footed jammies, onsies and everything else. You're in good company.
    Great. I even didn't expect to ges so much support from the first reply - your calmness somehow made me believe in myself more, however I still want to now, if there are people out there, or here on ADISC, who are completely free from any feeling of discomfort or guilt or whatever it is called,.. I mean Is there someone whu just enjoys their not-actually-on-purpose-diapers without any feeling of regreat?

    Are you one? Or have you seen such people? Living without binding and purging?

    I'm sorry if I ask for too much now. And thanks a lot for replying

  4. #4

    Default

    Hi! I'm a composer/producer too! I used to use Reason and FL Studio myself. Nowadays I use REAPER, which isn't well known but I like a lot. I do kind of miss Reason sometimes though :P

    What do you mean when you say you "convert everything to music"? Can you describe an example?

    As for whether ABDL is a "soul-trap", well, I don't think it is. That's something you'll ultimately have to decide for yourself, though, I think. It's like alcohol or drugs - some people can use them fine without a problem, but other people get addicted to them and start using them more and more until it takes over their lives, ruins relationships, makes them lose jobs, and all that. Or like food and pornography - most people use them without a problem, but some people get addicted to overating or eating unhealthy food, and some people get obsessively addicted to pornography.

    I do think it's very unlikely that diaper-wearing is going to be a problem in terms of taking over your life. But if you're worried, the key for you will be to experiment, watch yourself carefully, pay attention to the habits that you're developing, and make sure you can use your willpower to keep things from getting out of hand.

  5. #5

    Default

    Hi NaranjaColor welcome to ADISC.

    I love Music but I never made it though(Beside I'm good at Raping(I mean Rap not Rape!)). I also play Drums and recently try to learn guitar but I'm not good at it so I better stick with drum. Oh yeah don't worry about grammar since many people in ADISC. also come from many countries. Did you say you were born in CCCP so you still live in Russia or what?.

    Now about your accepting issue. Well I'm young and I haven't face with your problem but one thing for sure. You have to accept who you are. Yes you are an DL so what? I mean it didn't ruin your life right? In fact I think being DL makes you happy, Makes you relax, Makes you can enjoy the life. But yes it have to keep balance with your life so you can enjoy it without have to lose aspect of your life. Like most of us did. And remember your not alone all over the world.

    Well in the end I hope you enjoy the site and make some new friend.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NaranjaColor View Post
    I guess that is wise advise.. with all the plans I've been thinking of already, I haven't yet minded one like that,.. yeah.. because I still don't know if I am guilty of it or not and whether the decision to put a diaper on is already a guilt of being unresponsible.
    That's why all my thoughts were more.. extreme.. like black and white.

    Great. I even didn't expect to ges so much support from the first reply - your calmness somehow made me believe in myself more, however I still want to now, if there are people out there, or here on ADISC, who are completely free from any feeling of discomfort or guilt or whatever it is called,.. I mean Is there someone whu just enjoys their not-actually-on-purpose-diapers without any feeling of regreat?

    Are you one? Or have you seen such people? Living without binding and purging?

    I'm sorry if I ask for too much now. And thanks a lot for replying
    I got over feeling guilty and accepted it. It takes time. Eventually you realize it's not hurting anyone. The other thing you realize is that it doesn't take away from your manhood. You're a man every other waking minute. I think thaEt was the biggest problem for me. Now I'm old enough to know who I am, ant that's okay.

    - - - Updated - - -

Similar Threads

  1. Hola mis amigos que me asustan - Nerd/Musician from NJ
    By overclockedP4 in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 02-Nov-2011, 01:57
  2. The Intro of a Musician/Athlete/Engineer
    By Captain in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Oct-2011, 06:56

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.