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Thread: Tell your parents

  1. #1

    Default Tell your parents

    I've read many posts in different forums about telling your parents about being AB/DL. And I think the main recommendation from users is to NOT tell your parents about it. I kinda disagree with that.

    I am not a psychologist, but when users write "HELP, should I tell my parent?" or "Please help, how to tell my parents" or "I'm freaking out, does my mom know?" seems like you are a little bit stressed out about the whole situation, and over the years (lets say from age 12-17) I think it may increase the chances of having difficulty functioning socially (ok, I may exaggerate a little bit). Not only the "does my parents know" part, but also from hiding your stash ("did I hide them well enough?"), how to buy without anyone knowing, thinking about if anyone will notice your diaper under your jeans and etc.

    You may ask, "does my parents really need to know?". No, they don't. But do you really need to hide your stash every time, and being afraid of them finding it out by themself? Isn't it better if your parents know and you don't need to hide it every time? Of course it is.

    Keep in mind that I only recommend telling your parents if you are freaking out about them finding your secret little truth If you have just tried being in diaper once or twice a year, or don't see any problems having this fetish, your parents don't really need to know.

    I must says that I've never been in a situation where I told my parents about it, since I just experimented with diapers when I was 12 years old (very few times), and I needed them when I was 20 because of my incontinence. So I don't really have any experience with telling my parents, is just my opinion of the topic

    But whats the worst thing that can happen if you tell your parents about it? Let's think you are 15 years old.

    1. They tell your or their friends.
    Well, why should they do that? It must be embarrassing for them if they tell everyone that their kid is still using diapers.
    2. They get angry and make an appointment to a psychologist.
    Fine, then you can finally talk to a person who supports you, and that can tell your parents that this is normal/puberty/experimenting/part of being teenager or something like that.
    3. They get mad and throw your stash.T
    ry talking to them about what AB/DL means. Give them a link or two to websites where they can read more about the topic (Wikipedia for example).

    But keep in mind that if they accept you being AB/DL, you don't need to show your diaper or stash to your parents. Keep the stash away and don't go around with only a shirt and a diaper, unless you know your parents are OK with it.

    And since "I don't know what I'm talking about", this is just my opinion about the topic. I'm sure people disagree with me, or have experienced the opposite of what I just wrote

    What is your opinion?
    Last edited by Duckey; 02-Aug-2012 at 21:07.

  2. #2

    Default

    I think kids should try to tell their parents rather than go to tremendous lengths to get diapers and hide them. I told my parents mainly because im lazy and did not fell like trying to hide this from them. I told my mom about a website and she read about it and sort of accepted it. Teens should tell their parents and if their parents dont accept it than just go behind their backs then and have a good reason for trying so hard to hid eit.

  3. #3

    Default

    Hmm, interesting counterpoints! It's not often you read an argument in favour of telling, so it's good to see one.

    I still think that in most cases, it's best not to tell. The risk of embarassment and stigmatization are serious in my mind, and I don't really see the need to tell them. I mean, I don't want to know about my parents' kinks, so why should they know about mine? It's really none of their business if it's not destructive.

    The way I read it, you seem to be advocating telling so that our younger users don't have to hide their stash or their feelings. But the cons really outweigh the pros here. They may throw away your stash, and may not be receptive to websites. They may talk about it to others (which would be horrible, but some parents might, seeking out advice on what to do). And it may put a serious strain on your relationship with them - again, not right, but it could still happen.

    A better solution would be to express your feelings by joining a community like ADISC, so you can discover yourself as an AB/DL in an anonymous way, with like-minded people. Then you don't have to feel alone, one of the reasons people may want to tell. As for a stash? If hiding it is too hard, don't keep one. I know it's hard (I didn't get a legit diaper until I was eighteen despite liking them since ten), but you can improvise with household materials, write and read stories, and talk to others about your feelings. These all help. Or just get creative with your hiding places! Creativity is a baby's best friend.

    Overall, I still think that not telling parents is the way to go, for your own dignity and your relationship with them. Many of the needs can be filled through a community like ours. The only exception would be if you're having harmful thoughts or feelings, or your urges are taking a harmful or illegal bent. Then the help of a therapist would be in order. But overall, I say it's best not to tell.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBoy52 View Post
    Teens should tell their parents and if their parents dont accept it than just go behind their backs then and have a good reason for trying so hard to hid eit.
    I take it you've never heard Depeche Mode's Policy of Truth. It's a song I lived by as a teenager. Mainly, my mother won't know about the diapers I bought and stashed when I was in high school until after she has begun to take the big dirt nap.

  5. #5

    Default

    No no no! I can't say it more seriously, your parents are your one perminant support they are there for you to help you if you freak them out that leaves a kid with serious problems and no one to talk to telling them wont help at all it just solves the problem of hiding it, and that assumes they are ok with it, if their not then what? Thousands of people grow up with fetishes and most never tell, with good reason!

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Duckey View Post
    But whats the worst thing that can happen if you tell your parents about it? Let's think you are 15 years old.

    1. They tell your or their friends.
    Well, why should they do that? It must be embarrassing for them if they tell everyone that their kid is still using diapers.
    2. They get angry and make an appointment to a psychologist.
    Fine, then you can finally talk to a person who supports you, and that can tell your parents that this is normal/puberty/experimenting/part of being teenager or something like that.
    3. They get mad and throw your stash.T
    ry talking to them about what AB/DL means. Give them a link or two to websites where they can read more about the topic (Wikipedia for example).
    I wish I had parents who were that lenient.

    I also don't want to share all my various fetishes with my parent, so it's a no gain situation.

  7. #7

    Default

    Meh... telling them is unnecessary if you're coping well. This should be a pretty safe fetish to have. You're not hurting yourself or others and like any other intimate desire you have, it's yours to know about and not your parents.

    But, if you're a young dependant person and are depressed, isolated or stealing then yeah... get your parents help.

  8. #8

    Default

    I know this is going to sound mean and terrible, but despite being a DL myself, I would not want my kids (if I could have/adopt them) telling me about something like this unless it was causing them problems. Obviously I'm not going to over-react to it if they do tell me, but it's not something I would want or need to know about otherwise.

  9. #9
    TheGamefreak

    Default

    I think telling them really depends on the parent, if you know your parents won't react well then obviously don't tell them.

    If you think they would take it fine, then just think about why your telling them and if you've got a decent reason then go ahead but, like many have said, It's probably something your parents don't want to know about.

  10. #10
    Falkio

    Default

    I can tell you from experience that how your parent(s) respond might surprise you.

    But I'd also agree that just up and telling them one day is a bad idea. If you get discovered, then you have a compelling reason to come clean. If you just want to tell them to get it off your chest, you should at least gauge how accepting your parents are beforehand. My mother was aware of my odd desires before I explained myself to her. In my case, it was a good decision. I had some basis for doing it (harmless fetish), it will never go away (why stop it now?), and its harmless (at least she didn't find hard drugs). In the end, I benefited heavily from it. She doesn't harass me about it anymore. In fact, she has actually bought me diapers on one occasion as a reward for doing well in school. I'm free to order items online and store them without concern. Keep in mind, this is not typical, but it is possible. Just saying.

    If you think you can wait until you move out to indulge, and she has no reason to suspect you're up to something, then I wouldn't recommend telling her. If she knows and nags you about it (or seriously suspects something), you should probably come clean, but do it in the right way. I wrote a post not too long ago containing a step-by-step method of explaining this to parents. If you're ready, you might structure your explanation like that.

    Either way, best of luck. Think this through. If she loves you though, she might be understanding.

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