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Thread: Psychology 101

  1. #1

    Default Psychology 101

    When I was "outted" as an AB (came out the closet at the same time), I had a hard time dealing with my emotions. Thinking I was going to have a nervous break down of some sort, my aunt suggested I should meet with a therapist. I looked at her like she lost her mind because at the ignorant age of 21, "stereotypically" I thought you consulted one only if you had deep mental issues and I didn't see it that way. Needless to say, because of my take on the issue, I never did and I'd like to think that I came out of it fine without the help. That is not to say what I did was right or wrong, furthermore that it wouldn't help anyone if they chose to. My question is, to anyone who actually had the courage to seek help, did it help, how was it beneficial to your life or was it a waste of your time?

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ebonybaby View Post
    When I was "outted" as an AB (came out the closet at the same time), I had a hard time dealing with my emotions. Thinking I was going to have a nervous break down of some sort, my aunt suggested I should meet with a therapist. I looked at her like she lost her mind because at the ignorant age of 21, "stereotypically" I thought you consulted one only if you had deep mental issues and I didn't see it that way. Needless to say, because of my take on the issue, I never did and I'd like to think that I came out of it fine without the help. That is not to say what I did was right or wrong, furthermore that it wouldn't help anyone if they chose to. My question is, to anyone who actually had the courage to seek help, did it help, how was it beneficial to your life or was it a waste of your time?
    I personally had a major bout of depression.
    Being a DL was an aspect of my depression
    , and I actually voluntarily went to see a Psychiatrist and told him about my DL'ism.
    It helped alot and I felt validated because he explained it to my wife, which really made my life easier.
    He was a veteran, having done his job for 49 years, and although I was the first DL he ever met, the treatment I received by just talking to him will do me just fine until the day I die.
    I found it very beneficial, however perhaps some people do not need the validation.
    I walked out with an enormous weight lifted off my shoulder to a point were I must accept this as my normality.
    In his words, for me this is normal.
    This all happened around a year ago.

  3. #3

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    That is awesome Luckyfish I may just make up my mind and give it a go, one day.

  4. #4

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    To be honest I think I searched for validation for quite a while feeling that my actions were somehow wrong, I however got this validation online from forums like this where we can all come for a bit of a chat to talk out our emotions or just use it as an emotional dump to de stress, untill I find 'the one' to share this with I think it will be enough!

  5. #5

    Default

    I told a few of my clinicians at some points. They weren't able to offer any insight but they never judged it and were the only people to ever bring it up outside the ab/dl community with me. Just talking about it helped a bit.

    Plus a doctor whouldn't be able to tell anyone else unless whatever it was puts you or others in direct harm or if its a huge crime/felony.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ebonybaby View Post
    I looked at her like she lost her mind because at the ignorant age of 21, "stereotypically" I thought you consulted one only if you had deep mental issues and I didn't see it that way.
    This seems to be really common, and I have no idea why. I never thought that psychologists were only for the severely deranged. I figured psych wards were for the severely deranged, and the private practice guys were for every day issues. I always saw them as just another kind of doctor. It's not like going to the family doctor automatically means they want to cut one of your limbs off, so why should going to a psychologist mean you must have something serious like schizophrenia?

    Where do you think this notion came from?

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ebonybaby View Post
    When I was "outted" as an AB (came out the closet at the same time), I had a hard time dealing with my emotions. Thinking I was going to have a nervous break down of some sort, my aunt suggested I should meet with a therapist. I looked at her like she lost her mind because at the ignorant age of 21, "stereotypically" I thought you consulted one only if you had deep mental issues and I didn't see it that way. Needless to say, because of my take on the issue, I never did and I'd like to think that I came out of it fine without the help. That is not to say what I did was right or wrong, furthermore that it wouldn't help anyone if they chose to. My question is, to anyone who actually had the courage to seek help, did it help, how was it beneficial to your life or was it a waste of your time?
    I myself am seeing someone professionally. My mom told me as a teenager that the severely psychologically or psychiatrically ill are not the only ones that see shirinks. I am ADHD and originally saw my current therapist because I was having emotional issues after my wife had a miscarriage with what would have been our first child back in March. I also have anger issues (sudden temper over seemingly trivial stuff). As it turns out, my shrink thinks that ritalin is not working for me in an of itself and he wants my primary care to consider cymbalta. It's normally used in depression, but he says it also has application in some people with ADHD. He says I probably have a mild depression too. There is never any shame in seing someone professionally any more than it is a shame being an AB or a DL. There is no shame in taking medicine. There is no shame in having any mental illness. Seing a shrink doesn't necessarily mean that you will be institutionalized or anything, because they will only do that if you are a clear threat to yourself or others. I've had family members having to be instituionalized, so I know from my personal experiences what the criteria are, and in 99.99% of cases they are in there for no more than a week, and ignore the legal drama shows: it is nearly impossible for someone to have people committed who are perfectly functional in society without them being threat to themselves or others.

    And don't worry about your shrink knowing about your AB/DL because I told mine about my AB/DL and he said thay as long as it hurts neither myself or anyone else it is most likely ok. He didn't even know what paraphilic infantilism was until I showed him understanding.infantilism.org and he came to that conclusion before researching it. Psychologists and psychiatrists ain't dumb.

    In my humble opinion it isn't a waste of time. A large number of us in this community, (but not necessarily a majority,) have grown up with ADD/ADHD, autism, post trauma stress disorder (from violent child abuse usually). It affects us today. Now I won't ask if you were in any of the three categories I mentioned before, or in any way suggest it, but if you feel you need to see someone, there is no harm, at any time in your life.

    Take care my friend.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by HokieABDL View Post
    Pardon the dupe. Inadvertant
    You can delete your own posts you know. Anyways I think adisc's system is still a little buggy.

  9. #9

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    I have seen three different therapists throughout the years. Each of them were very open and accepting of my AB-ism. In fact, the last two were interested enough to where they did a bit of research into the concept themselves. We approached it from a very scientific standpoint, something that took a lot of the stigma out of the matter for both of us. None of them discouraged me from exploring that side. Since for many appointments, I would go with my wife, it actually served to ease her mind, as well.

    I wouldn't say it changed my outlook on my 'little side'; I was figuring out the different colors it was shaded on my own. Yet, the discussions did serve to enrich my understanding of it through the eyes of someone who wasn't ABDL. The ability to share who you truly are with those who may not be of the same emotional make-up and still find acceptance is rewarding and gave me the courage to not only be comfortable with who I was in private, but also amongst the outside world.

    I would say give it a try if you want to explore the topic in a mature, philosophical approach. They aren't in their line of work to change who you are; that's why they don't provide the answers but merely the questions.

  10. #10
    Cherub

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    Many people go to a doctor for a physical problem (illness, pulled muscles, sprained joints, broken bones, ect). IF someone is having problems balancing their AB/DL'ism with their daily life,,,why is it any less practical to see a psychologist or psychiatrist? If you go to the emergency room with a sprained ankle,,,you're not going to be sitting in the waiting room worried that their going to amputate you foot, right? So I guess I don't understand the stigma of going to see a psychologist or psychiatrist for balancing infantilism?

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