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Thread: The allure of “outing."

  1. #1

    Default The allure of “outing."

    Quick history about me in a sentence, I progressed from seeing pictures, to reading stories, joining chat rooms, meeting others and ultimately looking for real time. During the “real time” search for someone to engage in intimate one on one time, I got it in my head that AB to me had become a “lifestyle.” I made the mistake as a late teen of letting my “baby” side define my life. The end result, the company I worked for had not only heard, but SEEN my infantile ways. Needless to say, I ended up explaining myself to not only the company, but my family members as well, NOT to mention, coming out as being gay at the same time. Funny thing is, my family didn’t mind about ether, but the AB stuff (other than my aunt, who I am very close to) isn’t talked about. The company I worked for, my co-workers tried to better understand what I was going through, but at the same time, me being pretty immature still; I took their awkwardness and “break the ice” style humor as a form of disrespect. I was never fired, in fact, they wanted me to stay, but I left for another company because, not so much just the AB aspect, but things just wasn’t working out that well in my eyes. In the end, over the years I’ve been so afraid to ever go through those experiences again, I join websites and such anonymous so it doesn’t happen again. Of course I’ve had quite a bit of time to think about my actions over the years and the question I find myself asking is “why tell the world about my infantile needs? It’s not like everyone will see me as or treat me like a baby.” Having matured since the situation I put myself through, although I’d never do it again, today I find the teasing and humiliation factor quite amusing. Anyone else feel this way? Why do some of us feel the need to tell others?

  2. #2


    For me the allure comes from some deep seeded neglect. All my life I have worried about, calculated, and evaluated every situation. I just want to be able to stop being so reserved and just be myself. I wouldn't consider acting little all the time but I would like to be able to cub out and not have it be a big deal. I guess for me it's abou acceptance.

  3. #3


    Although I've not gone through something like this, I would think that the wanting to tell would be a way to relieve one's self of the weight of carrying such a secret that means a lot to one. But that's just my theory.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by skunk053 View Post
    I would think that the wanting to tell would be a way to relieve one's self of the weight of carrying such a secret that means a lot to one.
    I guess I must be different in the aspect of not seeing any allure of telling anyone. I mean, yes, I told my wife before we ever got engaged, but that was not out of allure of telling, that was out of her need to know since she was about to be my fiance'.

    Anyhow, the way I see it ( just my opinion here). Whether AB/DL is a type of 'lifestyle' or is 'just part of who you are', for me, keeping such information away from others should be par for the course of the 'lifestyle' or 'part of who you are'. I guess in other words, not telling people about this sorta goes hand-in-hand with the lifestyle or as part of who you are.

    There's nothing wrong with telling others. All I'm saying is that I simply see the keeping this to a minimum as a part of being AB/DL. If that makes any sense?

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