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Thread: mom in my way

  1. #1

    Default mom in my way

    okay here's what happened, so theres some understanding of why what happened yesterday happened.
    i went to me gf's birthday party, and for some reason she made it six hours long. my mom said it was ridiculous and i tried to explain that she's let me go to longer events before, but even so my logic didnt work. she dropped me off an hour late and was an hour early in picking me up. so in the car:
    "did you have fun?"
    "i did, until i had to leave before everyone else"
    that set her off. she got really pissed and i tried to explain my standing. her parents were both there so there was no justifiable reason for me not being able to stay. some of the events of the party were even truncated (made shorter) because they knew i had to leave early. it was unfair that i had to miss out, and she said she was mad because "i am the idiot who keeps driving you places and doing stuff for you, and this is what i get from it every time and i still do it" a total pity party just because i blatantly pointed out that what she had done was wrong.

    SO, i told her (this is yesterday,like a week later) that two friends wanted to get together (doesnt know she is my gf) and wanted to hang out at her house. she said no, saying again that why would she if all she was going to get was bad attitude. she once again brought up the rant form the party and somehow managed to fit every aspect of life into her stupid speech about how i should be thankful and stuff. and she added she thought it was bad that people just 'hung out' without any reason. honestly thats the stupidest thing ive heard all week.

    and this isnt a new thing. all through life ive had such a hard time getting to hang out with friends at home or somewhere else because my mom's stupid rationale is "youll see them at school and church and thats enough" and i keep thinking 'what is your problem?'

    and its an even harder time to get friends to come to my house which makes no sense considering my sister once had a friend from texas stay at our house for like two weeks. mine arent here for even two hours. theres actually been only about four friends that i can ever recall being at my house. thats just sad.

    granted, she grew up in a third-world country before coming to live here in the US, so she doesnt know how things are done here, but still, you'd think she'd pick up a few things. she acts almost as if parents (including her and dad) are dieties of some sort that have to be obeyed and honored above all else.

    does anybody else have a mom that likes to control your life? does anybody else have these troubles? am i in the wrong? how do i fix this s***?

  2. #2


    either get your own car , walk,or try planning ahead and up until the set date you wish to go out on, be unnerveingly nice, like super nice, and if ur still in school bring home better grades, and when you ask clearly say you are understanding of her opinon but are old enough to go to longer events, hope this helps.

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by babyDavid View Post
    she acts almost as if parents (including her and dad) are dieties of some sort that have to be obeyed and honored above all else.
    Blunt and basic stuff first..
    Well, you should obey your parents above pretty much anyone else.
    You should be thankful and grateful for all the driving around and doing stuff for you.
    She has raised you to your current age, but she doesn't HAVE to take you round to see your friends.

    So, do the polite thing. Say your 'please' and 'thank you' when you would your mum or dad to do something for you (whether or not you have asked them to do it).
    Be prepared (especially at your age) to do some jobs around the house or garden without any benefits to you.
    Ask in advance if you want lifts etc.
    For things like that party, you need to point out (gently) in advance that parents will be there, no alcohol will be there, specific events are organised to make it easier to justify extra time over a 'normal'.

    Slightly more subversively,
    Never ask friends round from now on. Always walk/skate/bike/bus etc, even when just going round to do homework etc. Tell your parents where you are going, when you are going to be back (and be back by that time). Then when they ask why you're always going round to other people's houses, you can tell your parents that they always complained when you asked to bring friends round to yours, so now you don't bother as it's not worth the aggro.

  4. #4


    sometimes, you just have to suck it up and do what they tell you. ultimately, she's the one with the car.
    back when i was living with my aunt and uncle, both of whom are incomprehensibly irrational and have questionable sanity at best, there were a LOT of times when i just had to say to myself, "do you want to go and apologize and graduate high school (whenever i had to apologize it was usually that or get kicked out permanently) or spend the rest of your life flipping burgers?" you need to weigh what is most important to you, not just in the short term, but in the long term as well.

    now, there's also the possibility that your mom won't do it either way, and all i can say to that is tough cookies. get a job, buy a car, etc. but you might have to get what you want by yourself.

  5. #5


    Sounds EXACTLY like my mom :/ I hate it too!

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by babyDavid View Post
    Whole post here
    Reminds me heftily of my own mother...
    Hates my GF for no reason, always complains any time I try getting a ride somewhere, makes illogical arguments. Hell, they weren't going to come to my second drama production (Forget the first, no way they went to that one.) all because she hadn't heard me when I told her the price of the shirts a while before we even needed it.

    But I think the best advice has already been set forth.

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