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Thread: Split ideas and views?

  1. #1

    Default Split ideas and views?

    Just wondering if theres anyone else who is regularly in a more or less 'split' state of mind on things? On the one hand, theres my ambitious side, which is constantly wanting more, forcing me to work far harder than i logically should, and is generally douchey and anti anything but work, cash and success at any cost.
    Yet at once my far more playful and easy going dl subby side is eternally wanting to give up all control over basically everything to simply be taken care or, owned or whatever. My issue is that i cant seem to keep a hold on both at once or do either in moderation, so either i'm a joking easy going clown, or else i'm a workaholic greedy douche. To add to the complexity of it all, both sides are always interfering with one another since one is all about total independence and dominance over damn near everything in my life, while the other is all about zero control or real independence.

    Anyone ever experience the same sort of thing? Or more useful to me, can anyone suggest a way of dealing with it better than just embracing one or the other from time to time?

  2. #2

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    The best I can tell you is that most people have swings between ambition and having fun. My father in law was one who worked hard and played hard. He'd work 80 hours a week throughout the late fall, winter and early spring. During the summer he and his wife went to their cottage in Canada and fished and played from June through early October. He was so valued by the company that he worked for, that he always got his job back. He was a wonderful and interesting man.

    It is the natural inclination of people to want to work, accomplish something and be proud of what they are able to accomplish. At the same time, we enjoy play. I wise person knows how to balance this.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    The best I can tell you is that most people have swings between ambition and having fun. My father in law was one who worked hard and played hard. He'd work 80 hours a week throughout the late fall, winter and early spring. During the summer he and his wife went to their cottage in Canada and fished and played from June through early October. He was so valued by the company that he worked for, that he always got his job back. He was a wonderful and interesting man.

    It is the natural inclination of people to want to work, accomplish something and be proud of what they are able to accomplish. At the same time, we enjoy play. I wise person knows how to balance this.
    I was gunna post a speech but you said it all here. Well said.

    Keyword: Balance

  4. #4

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    I remember my shrink telling me about the Freudian concept of the superego. Here's my explanation of it... Our consciousness of the world is so developed (compared to more "primitive" animals) that, not only are we conscious of the external world around us, but we are conscious of ourselves within that world. Essentially there's a massive feedback loop where we are conscious of our own consciousness... And we continually appraise our actions (and their results) to guide us towards whatever it is we're trying to achieve. That "inner voice" (much like the little angel and devil characters that appear on the shoulders of cartoon characters goading them into moral or immoral action) is (according to Freud) the superego.

    It seems that this superego is quite illogical and can be a harsh critic. So on the one hand, it can criticise you for not working hard enough, while later criticising you for not spending enough time with your family (or whatever).

    I think the trick is to work out what you actually want, and spend your time trying to achieve that goal (or the right balance of goals) whilst not criticising yourself for not doing well enough. All you can do is try, and if you fail you can learn from your mistakes and try again. There's no point beating yourself up about it. You can't "bully yourself" into being more determined than you actually are.

    And just because you think you're not doing one thing right doesn't mean that you're not living as best you can. Sometimes you can work your arse off and it still doesn't seem like enough. There are so many pressures in life, and every choice you make can mean rejecting a million alternatives choices. And with that damned bastard superego on your shoulder, pointing out every little defect and error you make, pointing out every lost opportunity, and settling for nothing less than perfection, listening to him all the time is gonna do nothing but bring you down.

    Maybe it would help to imagine the person you'd like to be. How is he different? You can't be serious all the time, and you can't be jovial all the time... so what kind of balance do you want? Where do you think you have "gone too far" and been too serious/jocular...? How do you think your friends see you? Does it matter how they see you (how serious/joking you are on any given occasion) if they know who you are on the inside and like you for who you really are, regardless of how funny/serious you are...? Can you accept that, if you look after yourself (physically & mentally), decide how serious/funny you want to be, and then just try to achieve that, that you can stop listening to the superego and him straight about exactly who's in charge here...?

    I dunno... just... figure out who you want to be... and let yourself be that person without unnecessary criticism.

    Now... if you can figure out how the hell you do that, pleeaaaaase let me know! (I never listen to my own advice... I was just about to say that that means it's probably a load of nonsense, but I reckon it's that damned superego trying to twist my thoughts into pessimism again!!!)

  5. #5
    Lindt

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    I consider myself a classic case of the "two-face" or "split personality". I dealt with bipolar for nearly 3 years, and I can say without any hesitation that effected who I was and who I am. I still have very unstable moods from time to time, and I can definitely relate. I've been told I'm actually still having periods of being manic.. which would explain my superego and the fact that my motivation amounts to naught but thinking, "I'm gonna go do something." I have no attention span.

    It's difficult, and it's a process, but I'm working towards a balance and becoming happier with myself, learning when to work and relax. It's a really stressful time, having 2 distinct personalities like that.

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