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Thread: Stupid stupid stupid. Busted!

  1. #1

    Default Stupid stupid stupid. Busted!

    Alright so a quick backstory. I have had a girlfriend for the last year and a half and for the last month I have wanted to tell her about my special quirk. Well last night felt like the night I was going to sack up and do it, but as zero hour drew near I knew I was gonna chicken out. Except fate had different plans for me.

    My girlfriend came over and she was sitting on my bed, which is next to my closet, and she just happened to turn around to see through my slightly ajar door, a box of pampers baby wipes. So she asks," why do you have pampers?" My heart drops. Then I remember there just wipes so I told her I use them for personal hygiene. Great no problem. But then she turns around again and faces my computer desk, which has a little nook level with my bed that has baby lotion and a pacifier. She asks what they are for, this time with more incredulity. This time I tell her they are for my hands and stress relief respectively. She questions me on the stress part, being shocked, and I elaborate. She finds this to be odd but it doesn't bother her an she's cool with it. She has some fun with it even.

    A couple hours later it comes up again, and she asks is there's anything else she doesn't know about. Well, since she asked, I dropped the bomb on her and told her about the diapers. This time it didn't go so well. At first she couldn't believe it, and then started to sob. It took a couple hours of explanations and reassurances that I'm not nuts to calm her down. So she's not exactly cool with it, but she's not breaking up with me for it. She says to wait a little bit for it to set in. What was gonna just be another day turn into a day of confession. Hopefully things won't be weird now.

  2. #2

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    You can't control how others will react to it. It's likely that she would've had the same reaction to it no matter what. Though she may not be 100% cool with it, hopefully over time she'll learn to be okay with it, at least to the point where you can do it on your own. If she cares enough about you to stay with you, surely you'll work something out.

    If she's the one for you, she would've had to find out eventually. At least you have that out of the way now.

  3. #3
    CrinklySiren

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    Just make sure she doesn't have it in her head that you'll eventually grow out of it, because my wife made that mistake and it took 4 years of fighting and communication for her to accept me. we're fine now, but I don't wanna see anyone else go through what I went through. Also make her understand that it has. absolutely nothing to do with kids or pedophilia because that's usually what freaks people out and might have been what caused her to cry

  4. #4
    Cherub

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    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyAmk View Post
    Just make sure she doesn't have it in her head that you'll eventually grow out of it, because my wife made that mistake and it took 4 years of fighting and communication for her to accept me. we're fine now, but I don't wanna see anyone else go through what I went through.
    That might be my problem. I've been married for slightly less than 3 years. I told my wife everything long before we were ever engaged. At first she seemed ok with it, now it seems that she doesn't support or like it. Perhaps I need to just be point blank and tell her it's not going away. She frequently jokes with me that I am stuck with her because I said "I do". I always laugh and respond with "No, I think you got that backwards". She says she never wants me to leave, but perhaps she needs to understand, in full, how I feel.

    Hope I don't derail the topic, but I saw what CrinklyAmk said and I needed to respond to it.


    But, back on topic, I think Brickhouse is correct. This subject is a bridge that should eventually be crossed with all couples where the SO is not AB/DL. Sometimes it doesn't go well, sometime it turns out better than could be believed. However, now that you've crossed that bridge, take things slow and allow your GF to process everything.

  5. #5

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    This story has some parallels with my own situation I am married happily I might add although my wife knows about my AB side I do it on my own and normally either late at night or other times when she's away visiting people. I do agree make sure that your partner doesn't think that you'll grow out of it. My wife accepts this part of me and every now and then I have to clear out some old stuff no longer used or worn too badly but then i restock. I hate ordering stuff even now in case she gets it by post before i get home not that she says anything but out of pure embarrassment. Best of luck

  6. #6

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    It sounds like you probably introduced it as well as it could have been done. If anything I think you probably timed it as best as you could have hoped for. You answered her straight forward when she was curious to find out more. But she was able to get a little glimps just before you dropped the bomb, and even joke with you a little.
    I hope that it turns out ok in the end, but i'd say you would have to expect some form of a negative response at first in most cases, people just don't really know anything about or the existence of AB/DL's, so don't get too down hearted by her initial response.

  7. #7

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    Just make sure that you let her know that you are the same person she knew before you told her.

  8. #8

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    You left things out in the open, in your own bedroom while inviting someone in. Honestly I can't see why your surprised she saw these things when they were clearly exposed.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fire2box View Post
    You left things out in the open, in your own bedroom while inviting someone in. Honestly I can't see why your surprised she saw these things when they were clearly exposed.
    They weren't clearly visible and I didn't even know they were out. I had been gone the entire weekend and just home the day prior. So the positioning of my smaller less common items were not readily at the forefront of my mind. A slightly ajar closet door and a deep nook/cubby under my computer desk (I have a very interstingly designed computer desk) aren't exactly out in the open. Besides she likes to snoop. Perhaps i should call her snoopy from now on.

  10. #10
    Cushiebabe

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    ..wow..omg..you really are brave..I have never told anyone and prolly never will..it is entirely self-interested and private..I hope she doesn't run for the hills..good luck..maybe you can make a "mommy" out of her..

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