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Thread: please help me

  1. #1
    sayre

    Exclamation please help me

    ok look i have been suffering from depresstion and im thinking of getting back with my ex but i broke up with her because i thought she was cheating on me and my best friend and two other people told me they saw but i now discovered they all hate me so they lied idk what to do should i get back with her

  2. #2

    Default

    Breathe.

    First thing. Breathe. Collect your thoughts. Realize that your ex may need time, and that you probably need some time.



    Quote Originally Posted by sayre View Post
    ok look i have been suffering from depresstion and im thinking of getting back with my ex but i broke up with her because i thought she was cheating on me and my best friend and two other people told me they saw but i now discovered they all hate me so they lied idk what to do should i get back with her

  3. #3
    sayre

    Default

    ok maybe i should have relize i should have said this was a year ago

  4. #4

    Default

    If you want to get back with your ex (I won't bother asking; let's say that she's the BEST PERSON EVAR), then you'll have to accept everything that has happened between then and now, otherwise there is no chance. For example: she had sex with your neighbor's dog in your little brother's bed while playing your Nintendo DS? Well, that's water under the bridge, and this is what your approach must be if you have any chance of this ultimately working out.

    I worry, however, that you are conflating two issues: not being with your ex, and you going through what you call depression. These are two separate issues, and you'll want to deal with the anhedonia/dysthymia/depression first. THEN you can take stock of where you are in your life and start to pursue your ex.

    Just bear in mind, though, that if she's with someone, you will not want to break them up. A girl who will leave someone else for you will leave you for someone else--and you cannot object to this if it turns out this way.



    Quote Originally Posted by sayre View Post
    ok maybe i should have relize i should have said this was a year ago

  5. #5

    Default

    Getting back with an ex is never a good idea, the odds are against you (especially at that age) and you should take the time building your own self up. When we're depressed we will seek out sources of comfort, and sometimes that can be old partners which is not a good reason in the first place. You don't want your ex back as it will not fix anything with your life. Take your power back, and build your own personal being, with the ex out of the picture. By trying to get back with them, you have become passive since they will ultimately hold the keys to whether she wants back in a relationship. You would be at her mercy judging and predicting just when if she would decide to get back with if at all. Never put yourself in that grey, passive area.

    Obviously you have not moved on from your ex if you are contemplating getting back with her. Follow the No Contact rule and you will feel loads better and begin the healing and building process you should embark on. There will be many more girls to date later believe me. Even after a year, some people can still not be over their ex and not have taken the time to heal or build. Take that time buddy.

    As for your friends lying to you (and hating you?) sounds like crappy friends. Kick them to the curb, too. My guess your ex and crappy friends have contributed to your depression, too. Eliminate that unneeded source. Best of luck.

    -Geno

  6. #6
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    honestly, my best advice to you after a YEAR, move on. I would say "I know it seems hard" but dude its been a year, you shouldve moved on after 4 months.... and im going to assume your relationship was short. And if you not being with her is whats causing your depression then move on even FASTER because it will only make you feel more like shit when you try to get back with her and she rejects you, so i honestly think that your best bet is to just forget her, tell your friends to fuck off and never talk to them again because those people arent worth saving and get a new girl, and then once you believe you have officially moved on, THEN you can try to get back with her so you dont have your hopes up.

    Now if this were more recent, my advice to you would be different, but a year is already closed-case amount of time.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Geno View Post
    Getting back with an ex is never a good idea
    Yeah... that's just patently false. My parents dated and it didn't work out, they went their separate ways, and then got back together a few years later. They've been together for something like 25 years now. Sometimes the time just isn't right the first time they get together.

  8. #8
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Zephy View Post
    Yeah... that's just patently false. My parents dated and it didn't work out, they went their separate ways, and then got back together a few years later. They've been together for something like 25 years now. Sometimes the time just isn't right the first time they get together.
    You have to understand that your parents are from a different era, people are different now, situations are different, kids especially are different.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyAmk View Post
    You have to understand that your parents are from a different era, people are different now, situations are different, kids especially are different.
    I never said that this specific scenario was the same, just that sometimes getting back together is a good thing. It's generally a good idea to avoid absolute statements, unlike Geno did.

  10. #10

    Default

    Considering yout 16 and going through depression. Dating to me just seems generally like a bad idea especially with a ex. If anything I'd suggest just be friends, because in all honesty will the two of you be together after one or both of your graduate?

    Plus don't you think you may have bigger fish on the plate rather then "oh man, I don't have a girl friend at 16 years old."

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