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Thread: I could use some support

  1. #1

    Default I could use some support

    I don't wanna seem like an attention freak or a whiner, but I could use some help from people who are not directly related to what is going on. Today I found out that someone who has been like a brother to me since I could remember has threatened suicide. He has been going downhill for a while, threatening to kill other people and other things that I never would have guessed he would do. He has admitted before that he needs help, so I am not sure if he actually will this time or not. Even though I am too far away to actually hang out with him on a constant basis or to be there for him in person all the time (and obviously the same goes vice versa), I still love him like a brother and don't want him to hurt himself or others. I realize that without hearing my direct relationship with him it sounds rather generic, but this is real. Please, any positive feedback would be great! Thank you so much.

  2. #2


    Suicide is not a pretty thing. Its a really ugly thing.

    Taking your own life is just...Not right at all...Because of all of the things that you can miss when you are dead[I perfer to die of old age because I got too much to live for and I dont want to make everyone sad because of what I did...]

    Ask him whats wrong and also ask why he would like to take his own life and listen to what he has to say because from what he says,you can usually figure out whats wrong and you can try to help him with that.

    and tell him that like I said, he's got too much to live for and that things get worse before things get better.

    Hope that helps and good luck![It would be a shame to see somone die because they wanted too,I can understand that he dosnt want to hurt people but death is no excuse]

  3. #3


    I'm going to be very blunt and brief on this topic so forgive me because I don't take suicide very lightly. My Aunt killed herself in a very gruesome way, and then my cousin threatened to hang himself and almost went through with it. My friend in college even downed a bunch of pills on campus and almost went to sleep and never woke back up. We all called the authorities right away. From what you've described, the only thing you can do is say he needs to seek professional help to deal with his problems as he has realized. You are not equipped to deal with that level of a problem everyday as a makeshift counselor believe me, tell him you will support him through the entire ordeal, but he needs to seek help from a professional. If he threatens again, alert his folks or one of his family members. That is the best bet.


  4. #4


    Thank you both for the advice. His folks do know and are trying to get him professional help. And Geno, you were definitely not too blunt. When posting this thread, I was and am looking for any kind of support, whether it is constructive or comforting or both. I have seeked professional help myself for less serious issues, so I do not think I would ever try to be the sole helper (sorry if I came across like that) but definitely, thanks for the advice and support.

  5. #5


    The other thing you can do is to stay in contact with him every day. I don't know if you do this by e-mail, texting or phone, but continue to do so. I think if he has you to talk to, to vent, it will be a help. It will also provide opportunities for you to see if he is further deteriorating, and greater powers need to intervene.

  6. #6


    KidAgain13, first thing that I have to say is I'm sorry that this is something that you are currently having to deal with.

    I lost two of my best friends and a cousin to suicide, it's never easy. One of my friends and my cousin threatened suicide multiple times before actually going through with it; my other friend seemed just fine at the time right before he committed suicide. I can give you comparisons of the situations leading up to the suicides and what I learned from each of them. I don't know if it will help your situation or not, but it might.

    My first friend that committed suicide seemed just fine before he did it, he never mentioned being depressed, never looked depressed, wasn't on meds or drugs, he had tons of friends, and he had a loving family. Everything seemed fine, and we had hung out the day before it happened. Everyone was there for him, he had tons of support, good social standing, and was extremely intelligent and athletic. He was also a teenager. He had the whole world in front of him, and had the resources to go as far as he wanted. It all came to an end one day when they found him in his car with hoses in the exhaust pipe. It was confusing, nobody understood, and it was extremely heart wrenching. I learned at a young age that sometimes people will make the decisions that they will make even with all of the support in the world. I also learned that sometimes people are experiencing something entirely different on the inside than what they project on the outside. Another thing I learned is that situations can change very drastically and very quickly (whether that be for the better or for the worse).

    My cousin was intelligent, college educated, extremely popular in a small city, knew everyone, but was still a very lonely depressed person inside. He was in his late 30s when he committed suicide. He had gone through a breakup with his boyfriend and couldn't let go of it. He threatened suicide multiple times over several years, and was desperately seeking a deep emotional connection with someone, anyone. He was very popular, but all his social relationships were pretty superficial and lacked depth leading to loneliness. Finally one day he threatened suicide, parked his car on the side of the road, and with over 20 police officers watching and trying to talk him out of it, he shot himself. I learned from this that people although popular can be very lonely and need deep emotional connections. I also learned that it doesn't take 20 people to help someone, it usually only takes one truly good friend/person to help someone emotionally.

    My best friend growing up committed suicide when we were in our early twenties. He had struggled with depression for several years, and spent a lot of time away from his home and wife for work. We didn't get to speak on a regular basis for the few months leading up to his suicide do to the nature of his job, so I do not know how bad things had gotten for him right before he killed himself. All I do know is that he came back from work one day and it only took one family related event to put him over the edge. This is the person that I miss more than anything. I really wish he was still here. I spoke at his funeral, and it was the most difficult thing I have ever been through, and I have been through a ton. I wish I had been able to speak with him more before he left this world. From his suicide I learned that sometimes it only takes one event to push someone over the edge. Sometimes people have a huge difficulty in finding constructive outlets for their frustration, anger, depression, and other emotions. My best friend struggled with this, and I really wish there would have been something I could've done to help, but was at a lack of ideas of how to help. Sometimes people are beyond the help that you can give and need to speak with professionals. More often than not, when dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide, this is the case.

    From my own experience of dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness, and breakups I have found that some of the best help I have ever gotten has been from friends who truly care. I cannot iterate how much it helped me battle situations when someone I truly cared about would call me, drive several hours to visit, cook me dinner, and let me cry and talk. It wasn't a simple text saying what's up, or hello, it was a genuine effort to show they truly cared about my well being that helped me through some very tough situations. I've deeply appreciated these efforts from people who are true friends.

    Each situation with each person is different, and the outcomes can vary greatly. I can't even begin to understand each person's situation, but that is why there are professionals too. The best advice that I could give would be make an effort to show you truly care, give them the chance to talk or vent, and encourage them to get professional help. Be a caring, loving, and true friend, let them know that you are there for them. Make time for them, and by all means listen to what they have to say, and validate their emotions, that's what friends are for.

    I hope things turn out alright for you and your friend, and good luck.

  7. #7


    Thanks for the additional support, you guys. I certainly will be trying to stay in contact with him a lot more often from now on, dogboy, thanks for putting that out there. And rangerr, I don't even know where to begin. I may have dealt with a lot of deaths, but this is my first time dealing with someone close to me who is even talking about suicide. I have no idea how you got through all of that, even with that help from your friends. You and geno both are inspirations, and I will certainly take your advice to heart. Again, thank you all! Also, while he still seems somewhat depressed, after I talked to him again recently he seemed at least somewhat better.

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