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Thread: I feel like crap now...What have I done to a child!

  1. #1

    Unhappy I feel like crap now...What have I done to a child!

    Im not sure where this topic would fit but let me tell you what happend a month ago...

    I usually watch over my close friend aunt[she knows about my DLness] son which is 2 1/2 years old and still isnt potty trained but I think Im the reason thats he holding it in for so long...Ill explane why I feel terrible...A month ago I stayed the night at my close friend aunt place and noticed her son got a little wonder about another son[she's 18] went to the bathroom and you know its dosnt look right if a little boy sees what a girl does in the bathroom...So he came to me wanting to watch me play my Super Mario 3D Land and after about 30 minutes into my game...I hate my self for saying that,he wasnt ready for potty training and I said ¨Big boys and girls use the big potty but your not ready yet for what she does yet.¨ and after a month later...I hate my self for saying that,he has been barley been going #2 once every three days[and sometimes a week] and after I heard my close friend's aunt say that this has been going on for about a month now where he,you can see him...he turns red,says owwie alot and crosses his legs and sometimes says his tummy hurts...you can tell he's in pain


    And after today, I heard aunt and her older daughter talking says that this reason maybe that he get embarrassed or that he thinks that he might get in troble if he goes #2...

    This is all my fault...Im a horrible care giver and friend and if this goes on,I...dont want to think about this....I feel like shit and im holding in my #2 untill it hurts because of this...

    I dont know what to do...They have taken him to the doctor allready twice and just give him pain medicine for his contipation and ran x-rays seeing if theres a blockage but just contipation....but...pain medicine is just fake stuff for whats really bad thats going on.

    God,What have I done to a poor child...I dont want to go to jail...help me...please!...I did a horrable thing by saying that...

    The little tike looks up to me since he dosnt have a father figure and most of the family is girls and women...Should I try to tell him its ok to do #2 because he seems like he dosnt want to go anymore.


    Im so sorry if I posted in the wrong section,im kind of in a dire suation right now.

  2. #2

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    lol, calm down. it's a simple thing to explain to him what the difference is and that it's okay for him to go use the toilet.
    just feed him lots of fiber and make sure he goes to the bathroom whenever he needs to.

    (if anyone has better advice, i'd suggest listening to them; this is just my common sense side speaking)

  3. #3

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    If I'm understanding you correctly, you simply told him that 2 1/2 year olds don't use the toilet, so now he's not pooping? If so, I think you need to explain this to your aunt. This can easily be re-explained to him, with you just saying that you meant it was okay for him to use his diaper to poop in. You could further explain to the boy that it's okay to use either his diaper or the toilet.

    Personally, I don't think you're really at fault here. Two year olds tend to do what they want to do. That's why they call them the terrible two's. They also get constipated for a lot of reasons, and sometimes, it's a medical condition. My grandson was born with a spastic large intestine and had lots of trouble pooping. Normally, if kids have to poop, they will. I think you're getting overly upset. Still, you can come up with a plausible explanation for your aunt. Perhaps that will help, and you can talk to the boy, especially if he looks up to you.

    As a father and a grandfather, it is not the end of the world, and you are not a bad person. You may have just made a small mistake.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    If I'm understanding you correctly, you simply told him that 2 1/2 year olds don't use the toilet, so now he's not pooping? If so, I think you need to explain this to your aunt. This can easily be re-explained to him, with you just saying that you meant it was okay for him to use his diaper to poop in. You could further explain to the boy that it's okay to use either his diaper or the toilet.

    Personally, I don't think you're really at fault here. Two year olds tend to do what they want to do. That's why they call them the terrible two's. They also get constipated for a lot of reasons, and sometimes, it's a medical condition. My grandson was born with a spastic large intestine and had lots of trouble pooping. Normally, if kids have to poop, they will. I think you're getting overly upset. Still, you can come up with a plausible explanation for your aunt. Perhaps that will help, and you can talk to the boy, especially if he looks up to you.

    As a father and a grandfather, it is not the end of the world, and you are not a bad person. You may have just made a small mistake.
    Thanks for the help thats kind of reinsuring,im going to talk to his aunt tonight about what I said a month ago...Im just going to say what I said a month ago to my close friends aunt and also tell her im going to fix this but she may have to redo the potty training thing with him...

    [You got it wrong its my CLOSE friends aunt not my aunt]

  5. #5

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    I understand. Yes, I think things will improve just because kids are flexible, but explaining will help. You'll be fine. It speaks to your character that you are concerned and that you care. Good for you.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I understand. Yes, I think things will improve just because kids are flexible, but explaining will help. You'll be fine. It speaks to your character that you are concerned and that you care. Good for you.
    *smiles and crys*

    ---------- Post added at 20:36 ---------- Previous post was at 20:31 ----------

    Im going to head home and face what I have done, Ill update tomarrow with what happens...thanks everyone....Im heading home now

    ...*sighs*Im still going to hold it in for 3 days because of this...I just cant get over this...

  7. #7

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    I think you're feeling too guilty. You meant well, it's not like you told him not to relieve himself. Kids do weird things, and I guess that's one of them? I have a slightly similar story, very slightly. When my friend and I were twelve, I joked with her and said that only weird girls poop. And wouldn't you know? She didn't for three days, and when she told me, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It's not your fault that a little kid misinterpreted you. He'll get functioning again.

    And by the way, don't hold it in for days, that's terrible for you.

  8. #8

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    This isn't your fault. One of the most interesting parts of child-rearing is how kids take things you said in completely surprising ways. This is certainly unfortunate, but that's all it is. I don't think there's any culpability here.

  9. #9

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    Uhm... Are you sure the child is doing this of his own free will? Stubbornness or embarrassment, either one?


    Honestly... It almost sounds more like a physical problem than a psychological one. Make sure you're feeding him plenty of greens and grains.

    However, I'd take him to the doctor if i were you. If you're wrong about this being behavioral it could be a symptom of several serious problems.

  10. #10

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    I update from days ago:

    I stayed the night and Mothers day over at my close friends aunt place and I talked to the aunt about what I said...I was really feeling bad about my self so I didnt tell her untill the middle half of mothers day...She was ok with what I said but she said that the problm might be both what I said and that maybe one day that it hurt him to go and that he didnt want it to hurt again so he stoped going.


    I also stayed mothers day at her place taking care of her child as a present since my mom never likes presents,I told him that ¨You dont need to be scared,Its ok to go potty¨ while he did that thing that he twisted his legs like he really needed go to the bathroom and turned red...And then...,you could hear the sounds that made my DL and my normal side happy...he was farting...Oddly,This was the only time that a fart made me happy,I had a happy face...I keep on reinsureing him everytime he did the cross his legs thing that is was ok to go potty that he didnt need to cross his legs...


    At the end of Mother day and three messy diapers changes by his mother later,I was a happy camper...He didnt look like he was in pain as much when he did cross his legs which I keep on telling him no and go potty instead after I watched that show called somthing like The Adventures of somthing hedgehog,I cant remember it but it had alot of furry like cartoons characters on it and it was on the Ion network
    I might even think on even becoming a furry soon....Im alot happyier then I was when I posted this thread because I feared for the child safety but now,he sort of understands that he needs to go potty...


    Thanks everyone!,Ill keep you posted and updated...Oh! and dont hold it for even two days because when you do go again,you'll end up like me and him when we try to go #2...and I went potty last night...no worryies.


    Reply to poster above:I and his mother do feed him greens and grains and I think he may HAD sort of a bowel infection and he now didnt want to go anymore after hearing what I said.

    He already been to a doctor and after hearing nothing wrong I kind of freaked out.

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