Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Quite a dilemma

  1. #1

    Default Quite a dilemma

    I recently met a woman (we are both in our early 50's) through an internet chat. I've never met up with anyone before using the internet, but since we both live in the same proximity, I thought I would give it a go.

    I made her aware of my AB/DL side early on, even before we finally met last Sunday. Obviously it was a bit awkward at first, and although she has heard of this lifestyle, she never actually met or knew anyone that was into it. After many conversations over the phone, she made it clear that it is something she is definitely interested in, and that it brings out feelings in her that she didn't realize she had. Those feelings are more towards the "caretaker and nurturing" side, someone who wants to feel loved and needed. She has always loved babies, and would definitely welcome the opportunity to "baby" someone, and has mentioned several times "going all the way with this".

    I am definitely more DL in this lifestyle, I have entertained the AB side as well, however, I don't think I would ever meet another person willing to take it to the entire baby level, something I've never explored but have been curious about. She wants to encourage me to always wear diapers when we are alone, and do all the things babies do in them. She wants to change me, have me breastfeed from her (no problem there!) have me drink from sippy cups, wear a onesie, etc...

    I know she's been treated like crap from her ex husband, has had a couple of failed relationships (who hasn't!) and I fear that she may be wanting to do all this for me so she'll feel like this would be a perfect way to keep a guy in her life. I'm confident that the "baby" thing is something she is very interested in, and no doubt I would enjoy it, I just don't know my feelings for her yet. I can't imagine her changing my messy diaper and enjoying it, or even how far I really want to take this. I know, I know... take things slow. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if I'm really into her, or being simply being romanced by the things she's willing to offer that I've never been able to get before. I definitely do NOT want to hurt her if she's not the one for me. If any of you are willing to give me a little insight so that I may be able to see through clouded judgement, I would be much obliged...

  2. #2

    Default

    I would say that the best advice on this is to take it slow to begin with and make sure that you do not connect only with the diapers/baby stuff. Any relationship is built on more than one thing--if all that you have between the two of you is your desire to be in diapers and hers to change them for you, the relationship will go nowhere.

    Take the time to find other common interests and ways to connect. Going straight to the point where she is changing your diapers is like a one-night stand with someone you met at a bar; there really is nothing there beyond one singular desire. Becoming friends and acquaintances and finding that you enjoy each other's company is more important.

    With that said, I'm probably one of the worst people out there to talk about this. My own relationship between my wife and I started as two twenty year olds just wanting to hop in the sack together for some good sex. We started as lovers, became best friends, and husband and wife after that. We did things completely wrong in the way that relationships are supposed to build. Even so, our relationship is still going strong and we are about to celebrate our twentieth anniversary this year.

  3. #3

    Default

    I understand that you did not met her yet?

    Take your time to know her better. Don't bring out the DL stuff just yet. IMO, this shout come out when you both have a relationship and the sexual side of it has been explorer more "conventionnally" first.
    At that point, you should both know if you have feeling for each others.

  4. #4
    Cherub

    Default

    Wow, sounds like things are going very well for you! You raise several good points of question, about her past and how she might possibly be feeling. I think it is a very good thing that you are not rushing headlong into this, rather you are taking things slow and sorting things out as best you can and being honest the whole way through it. As far as honesty goes, keep that going at all times. However, if you are not 100% sure that you are into her, for her, and not just for the AB/DL aspect, keep on your soul searching. However, I wouldn't tell her just yet that you're not sure you into her or not,,at least not until you are as close to 100% certain as you can be. In the mean time, just tell her that you want to that things slow, so that both of you have time to adjust and try things out and slowly progress from there. This will keep you honest with her and will give you time to continue to search deep down in your own heart and mind. Also, keep her involved, as in continue to be interested in how she is feeling and what she is thinking. I am sure, given her past, that such honest concern will be a refreshing change of pace for her. An might help you both out in the long run.

    This sounds like a great opportunity, as you already said, just keep it slow and keep the level of honest communication open and you should do fine.

  5. #5

    Default

    Thanks, folks, for letting me get that out there. Yes, we actually have met twice, and I think she is a wonderful person, I just don't feel the chemistry. I've lived long enough to know that sometimes that happens quick, and sometimes it just "takes time". What I have to decide is whether or not I am ready for the responsibility of a relationship, and quite frankly, I don't think I'm there. The AB/DL stuff is all good, but it isn't enough to base any relationship off of. Guess I'll take the slow route...

  6. #6

    Default

    I am going to throw in a word of caution here, though. First, does she have any adult children? If so: Would they approve if you got into a relationship with her? Or, are they more likely to be protective of their mother, since she has had abusive relationships in the past? You want to be extremely careful that you are NOT dealing with a vulnerable adult, as a relationship like that can land you in jail, and don't pass go or collect your $200.00. Maybe I sound a little paranoid, but I have had some bad experiences in the past with husbands, siblings, parents, and even children of parents. So over time, I learned to keep a professional distance, regardless of the age of the individual. Perhaps much of that, however, stems from my autism and accompanying sensory processing and interpersonal development. Still, I would take a very careful look at the details before diving into this. You need to protect yourself from liability first.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Honeywell6180 View Post
    I am going to throw in a word of caution here, though. First, does she have any adult children? If so: Would they approve if you got into a relationship with her? Or, are they more likely to be protective of their mother, since she has had abusive relationships in the past? You want to be extremely careful that you are NOT dealing with a vulnerable adult, as a relationship like that can land you in jail, and don't pass go or collect your $200.00. Maybe I sound a little paranoid, but I have had some bad experiences in the past with husbands, siblings, parents, and even children of parents. So over time, I learned to keep a professional distance, regardless of the age of the individual. Perhaps much of that, however, stems from my autism and accompanying sensory processing and interpersonal development. Still, I would take a very careful look at the details before diving into this. You need to protect yourself from liability first.
    Yes, she does have 2 grown sons from her ex-husband. I doubt that they would disapprove of her getting into a relationship, they know she doesn't want to be lonely the rest of her life. And no one would ever know about the AB/DL part of it anyways, that is definitely something that would be done in private. Again, I think this is something that has to be approached with caution...

  8. #8

    Default

    I am glad to see that you are doing the pre-flight and getting clearance from the control tower before you do the rotation off that runway, Dangitbawb. I would probably consult with the two sons, to let them know that you are in a relationship (without bringing up the ABDL stuff). If they at least know about the relationship, and they give the OK for it, then you will have a lot less to worry about. Just remember that young adult men can do an extreme amount of damage when they are upset. You don't want that.

  9. #9

    Default

    Go slow is good...here is my definition of going slow. As you date and simply enjoy going out talk about everything but diapers. See how insistent she is on the subject. When the time is right, one evening prior to going out, ask if its o.k. if you are diapered while going out. Sounds like she'll say yes. Whether she ever sees the diaper that night is your choice. You may get certain feelings if she is insistent on seeing the diaper, or not. You'll know how you feel at that time.

    I believe if I were in your shoes, I'd be the one insitent on wearing, and "showing off" my diaper. But thats me. It seems you want to know what is behind her wanting you to be diapered and caring for your diaper needs. Dating a while will direct your thinking.

  10. #10

    Default

    I agree with taking it slowly. Sometimes we are lucky enough to click with somebody straight away but that isn't always the case and if you have feelings for her then let them grow gradually. Seems to me that you are a bit unsure about how you do feel about her so don't try to force things because you may be feeling grateful that she is so accepting of your 'choices'. I wish you luck and I hope that it works out for you hon x

Similar Threads

  1. My dilemma...please help
    By Adventurer in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 03-Mar-2012, 07:22
  2. Bit of a dilemma
    By dillan221 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2009, 18:13
  3. A dilemma
    By Target in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-Feb-2008, 15:44

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.