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Thread: RainbowLittle reporting for duty.

  1. #1

    Default RainbowLittle reporting for duty.

    Hello,

    Long time lurker, not too new to the *B/DL scene- just looking for a place to go to talk to people about it. It's a pain having to bottle it up, you know?

    My name is RainbowLittle. Why, is to follow.

    I love rainbows. Not just because I'm the queerest thing on two feet, but because they're awesome. I wear rainbows 5 our of 7 days a week, because rainbows.

    Also, I'm a little. I've been quite out-of-the-closet about my little-ness for quite some time- my girlfriend (kink-aware, really supportive) knows, as does my whole group of friends I hang our with. For me, being a little is less about regression for sexual pleasure and more about comfort and being myself. I never got to experience my childhood to the full extent many others had, and I guess this is my inner-child's way of saying "HEY! I need a chance to grow, too!"

    I know this forum is about *B/DL, so you're probably saying, "Why is she here?"

    I've had DL tendencies for the past 7 or so years (that I have noticed). I have been wearing diapers for about 4 of those years, on and off- I wore them a lot through high school, and fell out of the scene after being caught by my mother about 3 years ago. I repressed the urge to even look at diapers in the store (which was pretty difficult), but it really became a huge burden on me. I finally broke down about two months ago, buying my first pack of Goodnites in three years.

    And I finally slept well that night.

    But some of the burden still exists. My girlfriend knows I'm a little (I sleep with my stuffed bear, and generally act like a child 80% of the time), and knows I like diapers. She doesn't know just how much I like diapers, because it's a huge squick for her. She can sort-of deal with my just liking them for sexual or kinky reasons, but any notion of me needing them for comfort or and *B/littles stuff past the mannerisms and bear seem to be farther than she's willing to go. But she's made stretches to her limits for me in the past, who's to say she won't again?

    Anyways, I'm rambling a bit. Point is, I feel like I have no one to talk to about the desires past being a little. I love wearing diapers- the feel, the comfort is great. I like wetting diapers, but it usually becomes a sexual thing- which I;m partially ashamed of. I hate to bring sexuality into my "littles-self", because I yearn for the innocent-ness. The truth is, I'm not innocent- I'm 21 (almost..) and as much as I desire to be innocent, some of my cracked innocence will always follow me.

    I recently started sleeping and working at the computer with a pacifier, again. Now that I'm living on my own, I can get away with wearing when I want, and doing whatever, sort of.

    I don't see myself as an adult baby, because I'm not a baby. I'm not sure how old I am on the inside- I want to say toddler to child. I always say I'm 9, but I feel like I could be younger- maybe 6 or 7.

    But I don't know. That's what I'm here to find out- where I fit in. Perhaps I'll find someone like me?

  2. #2

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    The only thing rainbow I have is my comforter on my bed. You're really really lucky.

    And I totally understand the "Not considering yourself a baby while still liking diapers." and not wanting the things you associate with being little/who you are to be sexualized. (Oddly I still had that problem for a while despite having memories of my first erection, back when I was 3...)

    As for the stuffed bear, I've never liked teddy-bears much, I much prefer my caterpillar.

    I wish you the best of luck here.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by KnowledgeWithWings View Post
    The only thing rainbow I have is my comforter on my bed. You're really really lucky.

    And I totally understand the "Not considering yourself a baby while still liking diapers." and not wanting the things you associate with being little/who you are to be sexualized. (Oddly I still had that problem for a while despite having memories of my first erection, back when I was 3...)

    As for the stuffed bear, I've never liked teddy-bears much, I much prefer my caterpillar.

    I wish you the best of luck here.
    Thank you, I wish you the best of luck as well! I actually have more than a bear (but the bear is my favorite- don't tell the others :x), I have a bunny, a doggie, and a rainbow bear. ! Stuffed animals are the best, regardless of shape or color :>

  4. #4

    Default

    Hi Rainbow, welcome to ADISC! That was a really good introduction... also, yay Rainbow Dash avatar

    I can identify with what you are saying regarding your partner's understanding (or lack thereof) of your motivation for wearing etc.

    My boyfriend has been very accepting of me liking diapers as a kink, and he's OK with me wearing around him, but I still don't think he really understands how much of a psychological comfort they are, or the 'mental space' that I'm in when I'm wearing as a 'little'.

    Anyway, welcome aboard I'm sure you'll find plenty of people with shared experiences here.

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    Welcome RainbowLittle!

    Great intro and cute avatar I love Rainbow Dash.

    As for the partner understanding I have NO experience.
    My diapers stays MINE for the time being

    Please pop into the irc chat sometime and have a talk.

  7. #7

    Default

    hey rainbowlitttle awesome intro one the best ive seen in a while to tel u the truth. welcome to adisc i hope u make great friends and enjoy your vist to this site


    allso looks like we have another rainbow on adisc but cool name its better then mine lol

  8. #8

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    Welcome to ADISC RainbowLittle. I love your avatar, RainbowDash is awesome!

  9. #9

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    Howdy, Rainbow!

    I really relate to a lot of what you're saying here, notably the idea of being an older little (I'm 8!) who uses diapers and 'baby' things. I'm not sure how you view yourself as a little exactly, but for me, I see myself as an urinary incontinent little girl (explaining the diapers) who uses bottles and pacifiers as comfort objects. Not because I'm a 'baby' or anything, I'm just a little girl using comforting items from when I was younger. I originally came here because I was too young for most places with discussions on ageplay (and those places tend to be more BDSMey anyway...I've only found one place for littles I really liked, and the site's down at the moment!), and I ended up finding diapers a perfect solution to my mild incon and bedwetting, while also being a useful therapeutic 'tool' for soothing things in my past.

    I also relate to the whole 'feeling guilty about sexualising little time', except my sexualisation is usually based on my littleness, not the diapers. I really don't like it when the sexy thoughts and feelings creep in to what should be an innocent scene, but I'm starting to be more comfortable with combining the two. I used to think of myself as either an innocent little girl or a sexy adult, but as time goes on I find myself thinking more and more about how I am, in fact, an ADULT little girl, and so I'm really somewhere in between the two...that doesn't mean I don't want 90% of my 'play' to be innocent, though.

    I also feel a lot similar about why I am this way; I feel like I kept part of myself locked away as a child, not being able to ever really 'be a kid', and now I'm older, that part of me needs a chance to 'grow up' too.

    When you say your friends 'know' do you mean you've actually sat down with them and said 'I am an adult little girl, and I wear diapers', or do you mean they 'know' you're basically a little kid inside still? I think it's easier for girls to get away with more 'little' stuff; nobody in my family bats an eye at my sleepers or stuffed animals or children's books and cartoons...it's just 'that's how Charlie is'. My parents know about the 'baby stuff' (they don't like it or understand it) explicitly, but nobody else knows 'why' I enjoy acting like a child so damn much :P

    I sympathize with you when you say your partner doesn't quite 'get' your need/want for diapers. My own GF is a ABDL/Mommy who looks after me, but she lives very far away right now. It's wonderful your girlfriend is so supportive about the little thing, despite not really being part of the lifestyle at all. Does she ever play 'caretaker' for you, or is that not really a part of your regression? For me, I can be little alone but having a parent there is wonderful, too.

    I see you like MLP:FiM...that's one of my favourite shows! It's one of the rare cartoons that appeals to me both as a little and as an adult. I bet I can guess your favourite pony! :P Mine's Applejack! :P Strong, dependable, mature...everything I'm not XD

    As for stuffies, you ever been to Build-a-bear? My doggy Charlie comes from there

  10. #10

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    Greetings and welcome RainbowLittle! Good intro too, lot of which I feel ya there man particularly...



    She doesn't know just how much I like diapers, because it's a huge squick for her. She can sort-of deal with my just liking them for sexual or kinky reasons, but any notion of me needing them for comfort or and *B/littles stuff past the mannerisms and bear seem to be farther than she's willing to go. But she's made stretches to her limits for me in the past, who's to say she won't again?
    I have a couple theories to that since I myself feel the same why about my DL tendencies. If I like something sexually will then it's just some weird kink. Everyone's got weird kinks even stranger than diapers. Also as men, we equate our sexuality with our power and "machoness" (haha) so it allows to better integrate it in our own person.

    So when women see this, they see a provider and someone able to take care of themselves which they gravitate too. By liking diapers for comfort reasons, it ends up being the opposite and they don't see that macho power behind it, like if they saw a guy walking around with a blanky. It's both a social thing and even a very innate evolutionary thing. But where human beings and our own consciousness is not bound entirely by social and our own natures. I myself even derive comfort from them in a small way so I understand there. Does it make us any less of a man though? As I've come to understand absolutely not. It can be difficult, though. But hey that's why we're here!

    Heh I remember being 9....making blanket tents with various rooms and alcoves was absolutely awesome. I even made a T.V room and had my N64 hooked up. Ya know me and my buddy last year made one for old time sake. Played poker and WoW...so I get what ya mean by being "a little."

    Oh and um...brohoof AJ is best pony.

    Hope ya enjoy your stay.
    Last edited by Geno; 02-May-2012 at 20:35.

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