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Thread: Getting a Fresh Start on Life.

  1. #1

    Default Getting a Fresh Start on Life.

    Hey guys, so the other day I realized I was surrounding myself around the wrong people. So I took my facebook, deleted every one of my friends one by one. ( i had 367 friends... it took me 3 days.. haha ) and gave my closest friends a goodbye. Now. I have nothing. I Have no friends, no job, no car, no diapers , and all the time in the world to take this mess of a life I made and turn my self into the incredible adult I inspire to be.. My only problem is how do i sustain from acting on bad habits? I dont want take two steps forward and ten steps back.. any suggestions on how to distract my self away from boredom?

  2. #2

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    I'm not sure where to start, in order to begin again I'd want all the things you threw away, except facebook. If you feel better off without the friends then maybe they werent really. Is it gambling you trying to distance yourself from?

  3. #3

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    Try to remember why you wanted to change, remember your lowest low and recall as best you can how it felt.


    that and watch this movie.


    (spoilers below, though watching the movie afterwards doesn't take the message away at all. In before Cracked kill's the message of the movie.)


  4. #4

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    I'm actually rather confused by your slash and burn technique and if it was even warranted at all. You can have friends without Facebook, too. Killing all forms of support (you must have had at least one close friend) is rather problematic unless you are the rugged individual forsaking everything to live in the Appalachians. Without knowing your actual goals (inspired adult?) or what bad habits you fear, there's not much I can suggest.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by drawer View Post
    I'm not sure where to start, in order to begin again I'd want all the things you threw away, except facebook. If you feel better off without the friends then maybe they werent really. Is it gambling you trying to distance yourself from?
    hahaha Gambling.. no. I dont gamble.. at least not alot. Im trying to distance my self from the distractions in life that cause me to do the wrong things.. to take the wrong path.. like instead of going job hunting, I would go hang out with my friends and do nothing productive.. and when im bored.. i call my friends.. so how can i entertain my self while still being productive? ... is a better question xD

    ---------- Post added at 22:23 ---------- Previous post was at 22:19 ----------

    [QUOTE=Fire2box;867898]Try to remember why you wanted to change, remember your lowest low and recall as best you can how it felt.


    that and watch this movie.


    pretty good advice.. simple short and sweet. thanks.. and i pressed play hoping to get all the answers to my problems.. ahh if only it was that easy xD

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pokerpro
    Im trying to distance my self from the distractions in life that cause me to do the wrong things.. to take the wrong path.. like instead of going job hunting, I would go hang out with my friends and do nothing productive.. and when im bored.. i call my friends.. so how can i entertain my self while still being productive?
    You're worst habit is procrastination, it seems. The tasks at hand are too big making you anxious so you turn to other sources of comfort. The fact your asking of what to do when your bored is a bit ironic, since you're just looking for another distraction.

    My suggestion? Have smaller, more manageable goals and balance that with your friends. Having a planner will help you. It takes a while for that to sink in.

    -Geno.

  7. #7

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    Make a list of your goals. Then spend that spare time in endeavors that would help you achieve those goals. If it means taking a coarse at a junior college, do that. I do think that it's important to have a support system with some friends who are good for, the kind who could positively encourage you. If you don't have any like that, join some sort of service group, volunteer organization where you can meet positive, professional people.

    My mom always said that water seeks its own level. In other words, you become the person who is a lot like the friends in whom you keep. I'm a church music director, so my friends are people who have varied, positive interests. They are professionals who have accomplished things in their lives, and are successful. Church might be a good place to start. You don't have to be a believer, just a seeker of a better life. That's what good churches are about.

  8. #8

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    Wow you hit me on the spot haha.. So how do I not procrastinate and set a fire under my bottom?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy
    Make a list of your goals.
    That is probably the most important step. Make sure you can actually accomplish them and their not grandoise things as you will put them off. Make them simple, step wise things. Do them even if you don't want to or not "in the mood." Plan and structure your time with a simple planner. Check off the things you've done and build some good feeling from it.

    As a professional procrastinator...I should know....

  10. #10

    Default

    This is good advise Geno, and by the way, what a great addition to our membership you have become. You have had great insight and have had very helpful things to say.

    When one is young, it can be very difficult to find one's life direction. I was no different. I always knew I wanted to be a church organist and performing artist. I knew this from when I was in 3rd grade. It was easy for me to work toward this goal, though the work in college was difficult. But for most of us, it is very difficult to find a positive direction unless you are like me, and have a clear idea of what you want to do.

    I think, PokerPro, that if you know what you want to do for a career, much of your life's direction will take care of it's self. At least, that's half of it. For me, when I was in college, a music conservatory, the music part was easy, but the living part was difficult. Finding a meaningful relationship with someone else, at least for me, was equally important. I think from what I read from your post, you are lonely, especially if you've cut yourself off from your friends. I always had to have that one good friend, to do things with, and to have fun. Everyone needs to have fun. It just has to be in balance with the rest of your life.

    I eventually found that I would work hard on my studies during the day and in the evening. At the end of the evening, there was time for fun. I studied with my best friend. We had some music playing in the background, a few candles burning for relaxation, but we studied. When that was done, we found interesting ways to have fun. I won't go into that detail in case you are young...haha, but it is all about balance.

    In all of this, I do wish you the best. I know that it is not easy, finding good friends, having a positive direction and knowing what you want to do with your life, but if it helps, most of us finally get there.

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