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Thread: I can't tell anybody!

  1. #1

    Angry I can't tell anybody!

    Hello, all! I need some more help. I am so upset that I cannot tell anybody that I am an AB. I am at my boyfriend's house, and a friend of ours came over, and I had to hide all my baby things. I don't want to hide thing from my friends or my family, but I know I have to, or be ridiculed. To make matters worse, I live in a small town with a lot of gossipers. If the wrong person finds out, I am in trouble.

  2. #2

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    So what is your question?or are you simply stating the fact? If your asking how or if you can tell people, then I have some advice. I personally have told quite a few of my close friends and family, and if that is something you are wanting to do I think I can offer a little insight. First off IF or when you tell people make sure you have alot of knowledge at your disposal, I personally like printed out pages that explain this. As they are portable and you can make copies as many as you need. However there is also the downside that they could be left floating around so you may just want to use the computer it's all up to prefernce. Second something that I found helps is if you prove to people it doesn't affect your everyday life, that you are perfectly normal in every other aspect. For example: you do well in school, you have a steady job. Ect.. Now these may or may not be true but find things that you can use. Then tell them how it helps you relax and that you don't plan on involving any one (ik ur boyfriend is kinda involved but you may want to leave that out for now) and I would end with something along the lines that you love them but this is a part of who you are and you really didn't want to strain your relationship with said person by keeping a secret that's important to you. Not everyone is always going to be accepting but you have to determine if your willing to take the risk. As for the fact your worried random people might find out that is always a risk. Nothing in life would ever be gained if we didnt first take risks. Ik its scary to want to tell people but if thats what you truly want dont let fear of a few wrong people finding out stop you. Now if your simply stating the fact that you can't tell any one. Know that that's what this site and the people here are for. you can tell us about your little side and the stresses you face, and ask for advice. I sincerely hope this helps and if you have questions you can message me good luck babyJ!
    Last edited by Disneyprincess; 13-Apr-2012 at 12:57. Reason: Typos

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyprincess View Post
    So what is your question?or are you simply stating the fact? If your asking how or if you can tell people, then I have some advice. I personally have told quite a few of my close friends and family, and if that is something you are wanting to do I think I can offer a little insight. First off IF or when you tell people make sure you have alot of knowledge at your disposal, I personally like printed out pages that explain this. As they are portable and you can make copies as many as you need. However there is also the downside that they could be left floating around so you may just want to use the computer it's all up to prefernce. Second something that I found helps is if you prove to people it doesn't affect your everyday life, that you are perfectly normal in every other aspect. For example: you do well in school, you have a steady job. Ect.. Now these may or may not be true but find things that you can use. Then tell them how it helps you relax and that you don't plan on involving any one (ik ur boyfriend is kinda involved but you may want to leave that out for now) and I would end with something along the lines that you love them but this is a part of who you are and you really didn't want to strain your relationship with said person by keeping a secret that's important to you. Not everyone is always going to be accepting but you have to determine if your willing to take the risk. As for the fact your worried random people might find out that is always a risk. Nothing in life would ever be gained if we didnt first take risks. Ik its scary to want to tell people but if thats what you truly want dont let fear of a few wrong people finding out stop you. Now if your simply stating the fact that you can't tell any one. Know that that's what this site and the people here are for. you can tell us about your little side and the stresses you face, and ask for advice. I sincerely hope this helps and if you have questions you can message me good luck babyJ!
    I'm sorry. I probably should have put this in a blog. I was just having a very stressful day and needed to rant. Do you know how to start a blog?

  4. #4

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    I know its tough. I am a DL and wear 24/7. It took me almost 8 months to finally accept that diapers are going to be a part of me even when others may not. I decided that when the conversation is needed that I would be truthful and honest with people. I have always believed honesty is the best policy. Now I dont go around with a sign on my back stating I WEAR DIAPERS but if for some reason the situation dictates that my wearing will come up I tell people. Everyone has some sort of comfort item as taboo as it may seem. You would be surprised that when you open up to people what you can learn about them.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyjasmine View Post
    I'm sorry. I probably should have put this in a blog. I was just having a very stressful day and needed to rant.
    Nothing wrong with a rant!

    Seriously tho, I think DisneyPrincess got it about right, but I would add that it's all about weighing up the risk. Like, I may one day consider telling a couple of close friends but I could never tell my parents - I just know that it wouldn't go down well. That said, I do understand your desire not to hide your little side - I'm sure you'll figure it out!

  6. #6

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    Aww :c I totally know what you're going through, Jasmine! Ive been wanting to tell a few people, also..especially my best friend. I know she knows I'm keeping a big aspect of my life from her, but Im too afraid of losing her respect because of my AB side. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that it is best to keep it to myself. I know it's hard annoying, but you eventually come to terms with it.

    However, if you feel you absolutely need to tell someone, start off telling someone you know is very accepting and open-minded c:

    It'll get better soon, love! Be happy you have such a great and accepting boyfriend, and as everyone else says, you always have us!

  7. #7

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    Even though you wanted to put this in a blog, there's nothing wrong with ranting on a thread, as we are a support group. Feeling frustrated about telling or not telling and looking for support is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes, just talking with fellow members who share similar desires can help you live with it as a secret. I would suggest that you know yourself, and try to understand why you feel compelled to tell others. Also ask yourself, what will this accomplish. Don't get me wrong, it may actually accomplish a feeling of acceptance, assuming you are accepted. That is something you will have to weigh and balance, as only you know your friends.

    If you feel like you absolutely must tell someone, only tell your very best and most accepting friend. I think that having one special friend who knows would be enough. You really don't want random people talking about you in regards to liking and wearing diapers. Most people don't understand, and they can be very judgmental.

  8. #8

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    dogboy - Only to say that I agree 100% with what you said above.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Even though you wanted to put this in a blog, there's nothing wrong with ranting on a thread, as we are a support group. Feeling frustrated about telling or not telling and looking for support is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes, just talking with fellow members who share similar desires can help you live with it as a secret. I would suggest that you know yourself, and try to understand why you feel compelled to tell others. Also ask yourself, what will this accomplish. Don't get me wrong, it may actually accomplish a feeling of acceptance, assuming you are accepted. That is something you will have to weigh and balance, as only you know your friends.

    If you feel like you absolutely must tell someone, only tell your very best and most accepting friend. I think that having one special friend who knows would be enough. You really don't want random people talking about you in regards to liking and wearing diapers. Most people don't understand, and they can be very judgmental.
    I thank you so much, dogboy. You have been there for me constantly, and I am so grateful to you and for you. I love how practical about things ylou are. You make me stop and think when all I want to do is run around like a chicken with his head cut off. You are a wonderful asset to this site, and like I said, I am so grateful.

    ---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:00 ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by icyfire View Post
    dogboy - Only to say that I agree 100% with what you said above.
    Thank you for being here for me, too. You have been a wonderful help to me!

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyjasmine View Post
    I thank you so much, dogboy. You have been there for me constantly, and I am so grateful to you and for you. I love how practical about things ylou are. You make me stop and think when all I want to do is run around like a chicken with his head cut off. You are a wonderful asset to this site, and like I said, I am so grateful.

    ---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:00 ----------



    Thank you for being here for me, too. You have been a wonderful help to me!
    You're more than welcome. Normally we advise people not to tell, but I did tell my college room mate. We had gotten back in touch via e-mail over the death of a mutual friend. I had recently become a member of adisc and was telling him that I was a member of a support group. He asked me what site, and after a lot of thought I told him. He was the guy who I had an almost 4 year relationship with all throughout college, so I knew I could tell him this and he wouldn't be judgmental. He said he didn't understand it, but he encouraged me to continue with the site and especially to help other, especially the younger members. I should mention that my friend is a Fellow to The Kennedy Center and has a number of national recognitions for his work in high schools on bullying. He came out as a gay high school principal at a very prestigious high school outside of Princeton.

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