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Thread: need advice on helping my girlfriend understand my little side

  1. #1

    Default need advice on helping my girlfriend understand my little side

    okay, ive talked to her about this before and shes pretty okay with it but ive never exposed her to me actually wearing and whatnot. she understands everything except the aspect of the diapers and im not sure really what to do. ive been getting less and less time to actually have some little time because ive been spending time with her. im even more hesistant now to try to be little around her because shes gotten upset when ive gotten childish in my tone and some of my actions. this is honestly making me a bit depressed that i cant express the way i am and i feel at times like im being forced to grow up and be an adult all the time... please could someone give some input on this situation, it would be much appreciated

  2. #2

    Default

    This is going to be a tough one. You could show her Understanding Infantilism, but this calls for sitting down with her and having a long and difficult talk. I would start with a rehash of what you've already expressed to her, including how you express yourself. I know I would be embarrassed to do this, so I assume you might as well. I had to do this with my wife when she discovered my diaper order on Amazon, and it was not easy. Fortunately, she was very understanding. It lead to my wearing diapers to bed.

    Unfortunately, understanding is only the beginning if you want to openly participate in your "little self" frame of mind, because there is a world of difference between information, and experience. That then leads you to the heart of your problem. You have to ask her, "What would you think if I wore a diaper around you?" This will bring the discussion to a place which elicits an answer and puts both of you on the spot. It won't be easy, but if you want to be able to express your little self around her, how else can you reach that point? Either you just wear one night in front of her, or you have a discussion first. I think having the discussion is a better route as it would be more respectful of her. The problem is, you might not like her answer.

    My concern is that she didn't appreciate your talking in baby talk. I can do this in front of my wife, and sometimes she'll do it with me. Today we went to Penny's so I could buy some pants for school. She asked me if I was wearing a diaper...sort of as a joke. We are at that place where we can be comfortable with that. The only way you can get there is to be open and honest.

    If she is not comfortable with baby talk, she may not really accept any of this. It seems to me that wearing and using a diaper goes well beyond baby talk, but who knows. It could be that the baby talk makes you seem less of the man that she wants. Again, you won't know until you discuss all of this. If she is not accepting, and if you can't give infantilism up, then you have a bigger decision to make. Will it be the tiger or the lady.

  3. #3

    Default

    hello, i'm new here

    but IMO after reading a bunch of stuff around here i am starting to get the idea that there are littles.... and then there and "little's".......

    and well i don't mean to make this along gender lines but i just got to ask a question here. are the littles that you want your girl friend to know about a real separate person or persons with there own personalities? or is this just another side or dynamic to your own personality?

    i ask this for a god reason as you are trying to explain this to a female, correct? boys and girls process childhood trauma differently. that woman who you are trying to explain your situation to; just may have her own un-processed childhood trauma that she has never dealt with or may not want to deal with. and what you are laying on her is somehow touching on her childhood trip in some triggering way that she doesn't understand (or want to understand).

    i have read a lot of guys ask what make me be this way. hell, when you get like me you know someone messed with your brain-pan. all i am really saying is that if you want her to understand you. then understand her first....... hay i know that is a lot to ask of a guy. but your asking a lot of her too.....

    after all, your girl friend may be dealing with her own "little's"...... the type with there own personalities. you never know what hell little girls go through, and most will never tell you.......

    i do hope this helps if even a little

  4. #4

    Default

    this may make things a little more difficult but just for the record i am a biological female with a female partner

    ---------- Post added at 23:23 ---------- Previous post was at 23:21 ----------

    honestly im not really sure, i know my little side is almost purely nonsexual. sometimes its like a whole other side of me and other times its an extension of me

  5. #5

    Default

    Ok, then you have got the same problem that i had.
    just talk and keep talking until you strike a cord with her. some mutual line of understanding......

    i hate to say this but woman can be most obstinant when they want to.
    if i have learned one true thing it is that i am happy that i was not born a girl and only became one half-way into life......

  6. #6

    Default

    well i did talk to her about it a bit last night, she dosent quite understand everything but does respect it. she does have some issues with it but its really more of just personal things that have happened with her that she probably wont want to be around when i do what i do, but its not some make or break thing.

    ---------- Post added at 14:46 ---------- Previous post was at 14:44 ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    This is going to be a tough one. You could show her Understanding Infantilism, but this calls for sitting down with her and having a long and difficult talk. I would start with a rehash of what you've already expressed to her, including how you express yourself. I know I would be embarrassed to do this, so I assume you might as well. I had to do this with my wife when she discovered my diaper order on Amazon, and it was not easy. Fortunately, she was very understanding. It lead to my wearing diapers to bed.

    Unfortunately, understanding is only the beginning if you want to openly participate in your "little self" frame of mind, because there is a world of difference between information, and experience. That then leads you to the heart of your problem. You have to ask her, "What would you think if I wore a diaper around you?" This will bring the discussion to a place which elicits an answer and puts both of you on the spot. It won't be easy, but if you want to be able to express your little self around her, how else can you reach that point? Either you just wear one night in front of her, or you have a discussion first. I think having the discussion is a better route as it would be more respectful of her. The problem is, you might not like her answer.

    My concern is that she didn't appreciate your talking in baby talk. I can do this in front of my wife, and sometimes she'll do it with me. Today we went to Penny's so I could buy some pants for school. She asked me if I was wearing a diaper...sort of as a joke. We are at that place where we can be comfortable with that. The only way you can get there is to be open and honest.

    If she is not comfortable with baby talk, she may not really accept any of this. It seems to me that wearing and using a diaper goes well beyond baby talk, but who knows. It could be that the baby talk makes you seem less of the man that she wants. Again, you won't know until you discuss all of this. If she is not accepting, and if you can't give infantilism up, then you have a bigger decision to make. Will it be the tiger or the lady.
    i did want to say thank you dogboy for your input, you actually helped me quite a lot and hit the nail on the head with a few things. i did finally talk to her and i think issues have been resolved for now but still i know more talking will need to be done. im just really greatful that she is respectful of my wishes, i just need to get over the fact of being so paranoid and scared about it

  7. #7

    Default

    Some people can accept this type of thing better than others. For example, one girl that I dated had a very vivid imagination and enjoyed reading fantasy (romantic and regular) and was just fine with my little side. Another girl that I dated has absolutely NO imagination, not desires other than just to make it through another day (so to speak).
    I have no idea if this is good advice or not, but try doing some fun imaginative things together to help her open up to those fun aspects of life. For example, read your favorite book together (requiring you to listen and make a mental picture) and talk about it as you read through it. Pick something fun and innocent (not a kids book). Plan a picnic and surprise her with it and bring along a frisbee and some sticks and play a frisbee golf game together. Be imaginative about where you place the sticks. Like half hidden by a bush and then challenge her to try and score better than you or plan a harder place than you did. If you have FUN together doing non ab related things that challenge the imagination, then adding the "new" game of taking care of your little may come easier. (this is harder to type than it was for me to think in my head *blushy*) I hope it makes some sense and that it helps. Keep us posted on how it goes and best wishes that it all goes well for you.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAyria View Post
    well i did talk to her about it a bit last night, she dosent quite understand everything but does respect it. she does have some issues with it but its really more of just personal things that have happened with her that she probably wont want to be around when i do what i do, but its not some make or break thing.

    ---------- Post added at 14:46 ---------- Previous post was at 14:44 ----------



    i did want to say thank you dogboy for your input, you actually helped me quite a lot and hit the nail on the head with a few things. i did finally talk to her and i think issues have been resolved for now but still i know more talking will need to be done. im just really greatful that she is respectful of my wishes, i just need to get over the fact of being so paranoid and scared about it
    Thanks, and I know what you mean about being scared to express yourself. Sometimes I'm still a little hesitant. I don't want to go overboard and make my wife uncomfortable. On the other hand, I sometimes want to go a little further, but usually I don't. Unless the spouse is into it themselves, one always needs to be sensitive to their limit, so to speak.

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