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Thread: Diapers, sex, and sexuality

  1. #1

    Default Diapers, sex, and sexuality

    I am experiencing a plethera of emotions concering my sexual interests. I don't know where to turn for help anymore.

    So here is my situation. I like diapers sexually, and the whole abdl thing. However I do not really indulge in anything abdl because I am at college and I have no where to do so or anyone to do it with.

    I am attracted to girls without a doubt. But sex is hard for me. I get really anxious about it and sometimes I can't even get hard or keep a firm member in the presents of a girl. I have had sex before but I have never finished with a girl. I don't know weather this is just because of my anxiety that has to do with sex or maybe I NEED diapers with sex or something. I don't know what to do it is destroying my relationships, for instance my last gf asked if I was surprised that we had not had sex yet.

    I am a decent looking guy and I am athletic and play college lacrosse so most girls expect a lot from me. For example last night I met a very interesting girl who was extremely forward. She literally told me she was coming home with me to have sex with me. I told her she could not because my roomate was there and my room was a mess. She told me she didnt care we could do it in front of him. I had never met this girl in my life and she was visiting her friend, she was from michigan. So here I was being pushed into a sexual situation that I did not want to be in. She is decently hot and my friends though she was really cool. One of my friends offered his room up for us so thats where we went because I didn't really have an excuse for not hooking up with her. Long story short I was not able to get "it" up so I blamed it on being too drunk. But if she wasnt there I could have certainly got it up. Anyways it was rather embaressing not to mention she was mocking me in the morning saying "oh I am no fun I am too drunk to have any fun".

    Its hard because I think I am attracted to her but I dont know if I can have sex.

    Can I have normal, vanilla sex? Do I need diapers? Am I asexual? Is it just my nerves?

    Sometimes I wish I could just have great sex and then this problem would go away and I could have no ED with women.

    Any advice or related stories would be helpful.

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DLking View Post
    Can I have normal, vanilla sex? Do I need diapers? Am I asexual? Is it just my nerves?

    Sometimes I wish I could just have great sex and then this problem would go away and I could have no ED with women.

    Any advice or related stories would be helpful.
    Most people with DL / other fetish can and do enjoy vanilla sex, so I think it's unlikely that you'll never be able to do it without diapers.

    In that specific case you told us about I'd put it down to the awkwardness and anxiety of being pressured into a sexual situation you didn't want - seems like your body was giving you an excuse not to do something you didn't want to do, same way you can feel physically sick before something you've been dreading.
    Something similar has happened to me in the past, and to a lot of other people, you're not alone. I think as guys maybe we assume we should be always on, but the dick wants what it wants, and if it doesn't want any part of it then it's not going to be "on" for you.

    In general I'd say: you should find a woman you like, take it slow with her so you can feel like you trust her, maybe do some stuff other than basic penetration sex, and then when YOU feel comfortable with it, THEN ask her if she wants to have sex. There are plenty of girls in the world who appreciate guys who take things a little slower, old fashioned and romantic - it's not just random's from Michigan who get horny and want to screw a lacrosse player ;-)

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DLking View Post
    Can I have normal, vanilla sex? Do I need diapers? Am I asexual? Is it just my nerves?
    Here's a question for you: do you indulge in pornography on a fairly regular basis? If so, that might be your problem.

  4. #4

    Default

    I think it's possible you are with the wrong women. You may be old fashion enough that you need to be with someone you really love or care about. I would have to agree that the last girl would create a lot of pressure to perform. If you had been drinking, that could be a factor. Alcohol, though it lessens inhibitions, also can inhibit performance. Physically, Mr. Thingy has to get blood. Alcohol dilates all the other blood vessels, taking blood away from the lower member. It can also lessen the libido.

    There may be other factors. If you're not wearing protection, you may psychologically fear pregnancy. That was a problem for me during high school. I personally think there's something said for true romance. Find a girl you really like and take it slowly. Go out on dates and do things together. Let one thing lead to another. That's how it's suppose to be anyway.

  5. #5
    Cherub

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    Quote Originally Posted by tj1189 View Post
    Here's a question for you: do you indulge in pornography on a fairly regular basis? If so, that might be your problem.
    How is that a problem?? I frequently look at images that could be considered porn and I don't have problems 100% of the time when it comes to sex.

  6. #6

    Default

    I've had some similar experience to what you describe. I only lost my virginity to my current (and first) girlfriend about 6 months ago (I'm 23) and the first time we tried I couldn't finish. I think that was just nerves, and to some extent I'd say that was your problem too. I know this wasn't your first time so it's a little different, but don't get too psyched out about it. Sex is very psychological to me - I think more than for most "vanilla" males. The physical act doesn't do that much for me. The first few times it was a great novelty, and even now I enjoy it, but there has to be more to it than just bumping and grinding for me to really have a good time. Unfortunately thinking about diapers/whatever else (I'm into lots of weird stuff) during regular sex doesn't really help. So what this means is that I need to really be in the perfect mood to enjoy plain old sex. I can imagine how, with a bit of alcohol fogging up my mind and some random girl with whom I have no connection, I might not be in that perfect mood. I think maybe that's what happened to you. It doesn't align with the stereotype of the college jock or the metrosexual man-about-town but who cares? Hopefully one day you'll find a girl who will indulge your every sickest desire and then there will be no problem but until then, enjoy sex when you feel like it, and just take care of yourself the rest of the time

  7. #7

    Default

    Thanks for all the reponses they help. And I don't watch porn often.

  8. #8

    Default

    Hello Dlking.

    From your post it seems that you are experiencing severe anxiety over this, perhaps performance anxiety.

    Its a tough one because with your anxiety, arousal becomes very difficult and it would be impossible to perform under all that pressure.

    You are obviously not comfortable around women enough to go through with the act and you seem doomed before you even try so lets delve deeper.

    I find it interesting that you ask us if your fetish allows you to enjoy vanilla sex.

    The simple truth is that depends how preferred your diaper sexuality is over women.

    Your fetish is at this moment, an asexual affair so, i feel that intimacy with a woman is scary to you as your fetish can satisfy you without the need of you putting yourself out there so i suggest you think about women without the diapers and imagine the experience of being naked together without a diaper in sight and just slowly
    being in the moment together.

    If a diaper is needed to keep you up, then your fetish has become high level/preferred/exclusive and this it what worries me about being sexual with the opposite sex.

    Fear not, perhaps your fetish is exclusive because you do not have enough experience with women to give them a fair chance in your sexuality.

    You also cannot yet include a women with your fetish as you need initial intimate relations to eventually tell her about your kink so i see the predicament there as well.

    Its not irreversible, but the biggest question remains...

    Do you want to be sexual with women or do you want to do it because everybody else does?

    Only you can answer that.

    I suggest you test yourself by fantasizing about vanilla sex and then seeing if a diaper on you/her is a necessity for orgasm.

    Test your attraction to women, perhaps the women in question just didn't arouse you enough to go through the act, or she was perhaps too forward and that scared you.

    Hang in there man, you will get through this.

  9. #9

    Default

    Here's my experience - it could be relevant to yours or it could be 100% useless. You asked so I am giving it to you (and who doesn't like talking about themselves when an opportunity comes along).

    Like you, I am attracted to woman. In addition to being attracted to woman, I am also married to one. However, I personally consider myself to be asexual. I like woman, I am attracted to woman, however, I have no interest in having sex with woman. In my opinion, it is entirely possible to be both attracted to woman and asexual depending on the definition you go by.

    If you would like to determine whether or not you are in the same boat as me I would say think about your fantasies. When you masturbate (I assume you masturbate) are you thinking about sex? Are you thinking about diaper sex? Or are you thinking about something else (getting changed, wearing, something that isn't sex)? If you are thinking about sex I would say that you are probably just having performance anxiety issues. However, if you do not think about sex it maybe that sex just isn't your thing.

    One other point - your sexual problems may have something to do with a condition called TMS. Basically, if you masturbate prostrate and are so conditioned to this position that you are unable to masturbate with your hands you may need to train yourself to be more sensitive to different types of stimulation. In addition to being asexual, I also have TMS (I've only ever masturbated against my bed and have done it since I was a child) so I know how fun it can be.

    Best of luck!

  10. #10
    Spearmint

    Default

    It's confusing to me as whether diapers are a fetish or not.

    On one hand, I'm straight, and would be completely fine with vanilla sex. I've never had sex, so I'm certainly not bored with it, and I'd be quite content with just vanilla sex at this point.

    However, that doesn't do much for my imagination. When I masturbate, I like to think of/look at all kinds of different fetishes, because I get bored with the same content over and over again. I would definitely like to try these things in my future sex life if possible, and I find it difficult to masturbate to just vanilla things, but at the same time, I don't know if it would be considered a fetish or not, because while I would have difficulty masturbating without them, I would have no problem without them in actual sex.

    Then there's the issue of how I feel about diapers. Diapers are part sexual to me, and part not. I enjoy diapers, dry, wet, and messy, both sexually and non-sexually. Diapers are a comfort thing for me, beyond just how physically soft and comfortable they are, when I'm diapered, it's one of the only times I can truly relax. I'm totally fine with being in diapers and not doing anything sexual, and I can absolutely just enjoy diapers on there own. However, it is partly sexual for me, and since I don't have enough time to myself to be able to use them as often as I would like, or enough of a supply to go without using them to their maximum use, I usually end up doing something sexual, and am rarely in them for non-sexual purposes.

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