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Thread: Is it worth it?

  1. #1

    Default Is it worth it?

    I am very much in the closet about my AB/DL side and have told no one. This presents a problem to me as I am newly married. I married the love of my life a year ago and have not told him that I wear diapers or am inro age play. I didnt fully embrace this side of me until we were married, or I would have told him before we were married. But it seems that now to say something would cause him to think, How long has she been hiding this?
    As I am more a adult toddler than an AB, he does know quite alot. He knows I'm obessed with Disney, allows me to cuddle plushies and sleep with pillow pets in our bed. He buys me toys, cute clothes and other kiddie things. I dont feel the need to hide these things from him, but things like diapers, onesies, pacis and chatting on here I hide from him. I feel dishonest hiding these things and I dont want to be dishonest. He has always accepted everything about me, and I know he would 'accpet' this, I'm just afrai that he would think me to be werid from it.
    What I would love is to be copletly honest and not hide anything from him. I dont nessassiarly have hopes of him joining in, though I would love for him to be my caregiver. But I'm pretty lucky in this aspect already as he will carry me to bed at night and tuck me in.
    He's a very senstive guy who cuddles his own plushie from time to time and who will lay in my lap so I will play with his hair like it mom used to. I think he would enjoy the caregiver/baby relatonshiop if he gave it a chance.
    So, my question is, is it worth it to say something? I have things farely good as it is and I dont want to ruin the things I already have by grabbing for more. And if I do tell him, how do I start the conversation? I can think of many things to say once its started, but how do I start it off? I cant just blurt out, "I like diapers!" he'll think I'm a freak. Thanks for reading all this and posting your advice!

  2. #2

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    Boy, this is a tough call. I would think it would be hard to hide your padded side for long from anyone living in the same house.
    If you are looking for a long term relationship you are going to have to address the problem sooner or later. And I think sooner would be best.
    It sounds to me like he might be receptive to the idea of a caregiver.
    Good luck

  3. #3

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    You're in a tough predicament with the fact that you only discovered you love for diapers after you got married. :/ Is there any way you could work it casually into a conversation and bit by bit over time reveal a bit more to him. I in no way have ever been in a situation like this and don't really have any first hand advice, but that is the best I can think of. I hope it all works out for you thought. Best of luck.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyBearGirl View Post
    So, my question is, is it worth it to say something?
    You know the feeling of I wish I could tell him meets crap, he'll be mad I hid this? That's only going to get worse. Doesn't mean you should have him come home from work for a sit-down, but it means you need to tell him once the opportunity comes up. He sounds like a great guy, and it's all in how you package it. Let's look at where the source of your stress seems to be:



    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyBearGirl View Post
    I am very much in the closet about my AB/DL side and have told no one. This presents a problem to me as I am newly married. I married the love of my life a year ago and have not told him that I wear diapers or am inro age play. I didnt fully embrace this side of me until we were married, or I would have told him before we were married. But it seems that now to say something would cause him to think, How long has she been hiding this?
    I think you're muddling the issue because you're nervous. Remember the KISS rule: Keep it simple, stupid! I think you need to have a sit down that boils down to just one word: Honesty. You asked what if he wonders if you've been hiding this from him. What should you say to that? Easy, the thing you prefaced it with: you had issues coming to terms with who you are. I can't say that he wouldn't fault you as I don't know him, but I can say that seems entirely reasonable.

    Ultimately, I think this all comes down to honesty and trust- be honest with him, and trust him to understand. You can't be loved for who you are if you don't give others the chance to do so.



    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyBearGirl View Post
    I think he would enjoy the caregiver/baby relatonshiop if he gave it a chance.
    I think the usual rule of thumb applies: be careful. While we know that infantilism is not in any way/shape/form related to pedophilia, that isn't an unreasonable kneejerk response from the uninitiated. I'm guessing that right now, there's a limited number of reasons he ever interacts with your lady parts and most of them center around orgasms. Even if diapers aren't sexual for you, him changing your diapers could stir up some sexual connotations for him that he's not entirely comfortable with. In general, first get him used to the idea that you're an AB and all that entails. Figuring out how this will manifest in your relationship as a mutual activity is a topic to leave for after he's gotten accustomed to it being a solo activity.

  5. #5

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    It was 100% worth it for me to share my love for diapers with my wife. She has accepted it and I don't have to hide it anymore. In fact, the way she accepted it I wish I had told her sooner. She loves me, and this is just one part of me.

  6. #6
    Supersam1223

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    As I see it, you will have to tell, sooner or later. And I think that you should go with the former and tell him sooner rather than later.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyBearGirl View Post
    So, my question is, is it worth it to say something? I have things farely good as it is and I dont want to ruin the things I already have by grabbing for more. And if I do tell him, how do I start the conversation? I can think of many things to say once its started, but how do I start it off? I cant just blurt out, "I like diapers!" he'll think I'm a freak. Thanks for reading all this and posting your advice!
    I'd go ahead and tell him for the simple fact that you aren't likely to start wanting this less... especially if it got stronger after you were married. So things will get harder for you as time goes on, and like others have said, you'll feel worse and worse keeping things from him.

    e.g. I have something to tell you about me, that you might think is a little weird, but I feel like I'm not being honest with you by telling you this. On the other hand, I'm scared you'll think I'm weird or hate me or something. (Unless this is something he really can't stand, he'll be primed to provide consolation by that statement. If you're scared/hurt/vulnerable, it should bring out the protector aspect in him.) You know how I like stuffed animals... and disney... and toys... and cuddling and what not... well, the reason for that is...

    Then instead of saying "I'm an adult baby" which won't mean anything to him likely... explain why you like those things (assuming you haven't really done so). i.e. the feelings/emotions it evokes. Then continue on into the rest of it. Diapers or whatever else. Then pause Tell him you're not trying to put him on the spot... But what does he think about all that. Tell him he doesn't have to answer right now if he doesn't want to. Tell him you're sorry for not telling him earlier, but you thought it'd go away or you didn't realize all the details at the time (whatever your situation is).

    After the following discussion, you can move into caretaker kinds of discussions if he's still on board. Likely take place over several discussions.

    *typed this out and didn't post it before I left the house. Might be late to the game now

  8. #8

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    Bring it up in a joking sort of way. That's how I've done it most successfully in the past. Ease into it too. Just throw a suggestion out here and there. Eventually you'll get into it.

  9. #9

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    Thanks for all of the advice guys....I'm getting the nerve to do it more now I just want to be prepared fully before I say it, that way I can present it in the best way. I almost did a few days ago but chickened out. I had the perfecr chance.....my husband was talking about how his brother sucked his thumb until he was a teenager and joked that he probably still sucks it. I said "well, whatever makes you happy" but I should have used this as an opening. If such a time comes up again I want to be ready.

  10. #10

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    I've been married for 4.5 years now and have not been able to share this side of me with my husband either . Blankets and stuffed animals are one thing but I'm just not sure he'd get the diaper thing . And how exactly do you start that whole conversation anyways ?!?! I'd love to get up the courage ...but it hasn't happened yet !

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