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Thread: Coming to terms with adulthood

  1. #1

    Default Coming to terms with adulthood

    I've been struggling with being an adult and dealing with all the responsibilities with adulthood. I often wish I could go back to being a kid again but that's not going to happen. I guess that's one of the reasons I'm still wearing diapers and wearing sleepers and onesies. I'm not proud to say that I'm 27 years old and still living at home and I'd still like to get out on my own and be independent but finding a good job that pays enough for me to do that has been really difficult. It seems like it was easier to just be told what to do by my parents versus making my own decisions, however in some cases making my own decisions is nice. My debts are piling up and I have very little means of paying them back and still be able to earn a living. I've held a few jobs in the past but they were just jobs and not really a career. It took me years to figure out I'm not good at working with people and due to my physical limitations I can't do physically demanding labor.

    At least 3-4 times a week I have dreams of being back in school. I dream so much about that I decided to research the meaning behind it. I found out that the meaning is a person that dreams about being back in school may have some unresolved childhood issues or perhaps there's a lesson that is yet to be learned. I'm struggling to figure out what that lesson is if that is the reason. I do often wish I was back in school but that's not going to happen either. Anyway just thought I'd share this if there's anyone else on this forum who can relate to me.

  2. #2

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    I recently turned 18 about half a year ago. I never thought this is where I would be. I always assumed that I would go to college and live on campus and be independent. Unfortunately I wasn't the most "focused" kid in high school and I dropped the ball on that aspiration. I haven't even enrolled in a community college because we've been "moving" for half a year (although we're finally moving this Monday).
    I can tell you this much. You've reached the first step; you're dissatisfied. Now turn it into something productive. Then you have to accept that your current situation isn't what you thought it would be and that you won't be able to cause drastic change overnight. Set small goals for yourself. Get a stable job not matter how terrible so long as you can do it. Go to community college and get a degree in something you hadn't thought of until now and suits you well. Understand that being an adult and independent is a slow and methodical march. That's why it takes 18 years for you to legally be one! Also - as with anything else, don't try to grasp for it to quickly. If you do, it usually ends up with failure

  3. #3

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    Sounds like you need an ok degree and office work, may sound boring but if it's the right office you won't have to deal with many people on the phones or face to face, just get work dumped on you and you can chugg away at it until it's done and get some more. Data entry is probably the most independent career path you can take, take a stack of paper and digitize the information on it, mind numbingly dull, ok pay and as I said pretty independent. In the mean while try and get some unpaid work experience, most people your age will have plenty of experience even if it isn't really relevant to the job your applying for, and that's what gets people jobs as much as qualifications.

    Alternatively find something you're good at and enjoy and see if you can turn it into a job, like artists and writers do.

  4. #4

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    Well I just graduated with an Associates Degree in Medical Insurance Billing & Coding and am pretty much deep in debt with student loans plus I owe my parents a ton of money. I've had a few interviews with medical clinics in my area but that's about it. It's just been a slow going process with getting my life started and starting to feel a bit hopeless at this point. I'm on disability income which is something else I'm not proud of but the money helps with the expenses I do have but definitely isn't enough for me to get a place of my own and still feed and provide transportation for myself. I'm going through Vocational Rehabilitation but again it's slow going with them too. I know I won't get everything together overnight but it's taken me nine years just to figure out that I need something that doesn't involve heavy contact with the public. I've been told that it's who you know and not what you know when it comes to getting a good job.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pawlf View Post
    Well I just graduated with an Associates Degree in Medical Insurance Billing & Coding and am pretty much deep in debt with student loans plus I owe my parents a ton of money. I've had a few interviews with medical clinics in my area but that's about it. It's just been a slow going process with getting my life started and starting to feel a bit hopeless at this point. I'm on disability income which is something else I'm not proud of but the money helps with the expenses I do have but definitely isn't enough for me to get a place of my own and still feed and provide transportation for myself. I'm going through Vocational Rehabilitation but again it's slow going with them too. I know I won't get everything together overnight but it's taken me nine years just to figure out that I need something that doesn't involve heavy contact with the public. I've been told that it's who you know and not what you know when it comes to getting a good job.
    That is partially true, I am 27 myself and still at home I had planned to be out of the house by 25 with degree, life happens and it looks like it going to be around 29 with degree changes major medical issues and expenses, and a hard bout with depression. I understand the disability income issue, I techinically qualify for SSI/SSRI, but choose not to take it so I could work more and while my income is about the same as it would have been had I taken the money and choose not to work as much. I think working will lead to a better future. I have 10 years or so of experience in the tech field and A.A.S in network engineering and an A.A. in business and I am working on B.A. in international business with to minors and the only way I found a decent job was through a resource center for people with my specific set of disabilities, most austism spectrum stuff and auditory processing. That being said if you have a DRC(disability resource center) in your area try using it, I got a job as a paid tech intern contractor with an annual renewal, with a fortune 100 company this way, the pay is not great for someone of my skill level but the flexibility they give me so I can deal with medical issues and school more than makes up for it.(I make $14 an hour and get to work from home 3 days a week).
    What I am saying is not all is lost you may just need to dig around abit to seem what is out their.

  6. #6

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    Since you have some disabilities as well as expenses, etc., try to put life into perspective. Be patient and keep looking for employment which will be permanent, and something where you can advance, if that's possible.

    As far as not wanting to grow up, I think most of us here experience that considering who we are and what we do. I often have the dream where I'm back in school. I almost always have this dream where I'm driving, and I'm trying to get back home. That home is my childhood home. Once I actually made it and went up to my childhood house. I knocked on the door and no one was home. Suddenly I felt so sad, and lost, realizing that my parents had died years ago. I suspect we all experience this. All you can do is go on.

    There are things I do that make me feel good. I ride my bike and I write. I enjoy reading and listening to music. I get outdoors on the bike trail and try to enjoy the simple things of life. My wife and I go out to dinner with friends. You have to find things that work for you.

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