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Thread: Talking to Mom

  1. #1

    Default Talking to Mom

    I am looking for some advice. My mom knows that I am AB and she actually really hates it and tells me I have a mental problem. I am trying to work up the courage to talk to her about backing off. She always gets upset with me that I have not called the psychologist or as she calls it "the baby doctor". I am having a hard time getting up the courage to talk to her about all this. I want to tell her that there is no harm in being AB and that it is very common for people in my situation to turn to ABDL. I want to tell her that she needs to realize I am an adult and that this is my choice and that she has no say in it. I am 25 years old and she needs to let go of the Idea that she can control my decisions. I am not sure how to approch her. I did tell her I would go see the psychologist but she bugs me every single day about calling and setting up an appointment. I am just at a loss of how to handle her and really could use some advice or encouragement.

  2. #2

    Default

    Sit down and discuss it.

    If she doesn't accept you just because your AB side
    your 25 your your own person you don't needa change for her
    thats really f'd up I mean you could be on the streets
    on drugs or worse it doesn't hurt anybody
    I'm sure she has her own flaws (Not that AB is a flaw)
    your her daughter either way she should accept you
    if I had a daughter "she likes wearing diapers and age 25"
    so what? big deal she still my daughter no matter what and I can't and wudnt change her
    (I suck with advice) :x

    ---------- Post added at 15:18 ---------- Previous post was at 15:17 ----------

    but what do I know I'm 15

    Good luck.

    Don't needa say necasaraly that, thats just my opinion.

  3. #3

    Default

    Well, at 25 the question begs to be asked as to why does she still have that much control over you at your age. I assume that you live with her, but still...
    If i were you, i would make an appointment with a psych -with- your mother and have the psych tell her how this fetish or lifestyle is in no way out of the ordinary, then i would change the subject back on her and ask her why she cant let you go since you are an adult now.

  4. #4

    Default

    The following is just my idea, feel free to interpret it however you wish.(Can only offer advice, and this advice might not be perfect for the situation you are in.)

    Just sit her down for a talk, in a calm, direct manner tell her the following:

    You're not causing anyone any harm by doing it, and it isn't endangering your mental state as a whole.
    You are not interested in speaking to a Psychologist about your "Issue", as you don't see anything wrong with it.(Hell, admit it's silly, but make this point clear)
    You're an adult, and as such, it is your right and responsibility to do what you see fit about your *own* health.
    Lastly, explain that harassing you over something so pointless isn't going to do her any good, and might lead to you and her having disputes that you would rather avoid.

    The key is, however, be calm. Don't yell, and don't let her change the subject, clear the air of all issues in the nicest way possible.

    Edit: A simple way to clarify that being an AB is relatively nothing is that you *could* be involved with another man, beating each other with whips while tied up. <---Tends to make anything seem harmless.
    Last edited by Eulogy; 22-Mar-2012 at 20:32. Reason: Clarity

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Memphistoj View Post
    Well, at 25 the question begs to be asked as to why does she still have that much control over you at your age. I assume that you live with her, but still...
    If i were you, i would make an appointment with a psych -with- your mother and have the psych tell her how this fetish or lifestyle is in no way out of the ordinary, then i would change the subject back on her and ask her why she cant let you go since you are an adult now.
    I live at home still and I have been ill for 7 years so my mom has a hard time letting go of me in general. It is not that she has control over me it is that I need her to leave me alone and let me decide how to live my life. She needs to just back off.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by binkygirl View Post
    I live at home still and I have been ill for 7 years so my mom has a hard time letting go of me in general. It is not that she has control over me it is that I need her to leave me alone and let me decide how to live my life. She needs to just back off.
    I understand, and am very sorry that you've been ill for a while. Like others have said, i would just sit down with her and discuss that this isn't a phase and i would even go so far as to print off literature about being an AB/DL so she knows its not _that_ uncommon and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all.

  7. #7

  8. #8

    Default

    Can you talk to her & maybe come up with a compromise between the 2 of you? Maybe try to explain as to why you are AB & maybe just tone it down a bit when she is around. I think if you 2 cannot do this in a civil way you should both go see a counselor & try to work together.
    Parents can be overly protective & we are not all able to handle any situation that arise & some are so confused about how to deal with it the first reaction is to lash out "fight or flight?". she really means well....I hope, but cannot comprehend you actions & if you lash out in retaliation that just concretes her worst fears & things will never get resolved. Hang up the bonnet one night & try to have an adult conversation with her & try to put her mind at ease.
    Good luck & I hope things work out for the both of you.

  9. #9
    Peachy

    Default

    If you're ill and your mom kind of takes care of you because of the illness it's not unlikely that she'll assume some sort of authority over you for other things as well. At least it would fit into the picture.

    It's a bit of a tricky situation: If you argue that you're old enough to sort out your own life, she may stop helping you with other stuff revolving around your being ill. So you may gain the freedom to be a baby, but may lose the help she gives you because of your situation. If you reduce your AB activities, you'll at least continue to get the help from her.
    The ideal strategy is probably in the middle, but keep in mind that your mom is helping you because she expects you to turn into a valuable member for society once you overcome your illness. From her perspective, your ABism may be harmful for achieving that goal and may make her lose her motivation to continue helping you.

    Maybe you should sit her down and explain to her that it's a way to cope with the stress coming from your illness and that you expect it to go away in the future when you're feeling better (even if you may later decide to hold on to it, when you're healthy enough to work your way through life without help). Explain that you expect your illness to get worse if you don't have the stress reliever that ABism is. Maybe you should show her some stuff on the internet about ABism being used as a stress reliever, just like other people knit or do car racing. And let's face it: Car racing is a lot more dangerous than sucking on a paci (and probably unsuitable for you due to your illness).

    Peachy

  10. #10

    Default

    See a shrink explain the problem and if he/she say's it's normal to be AB/DL ask him/her to mediate a discussion between you and your mum.

    Alternatively tell her that there's no problem with AB/DL and give her the literature, and that it's a mute discussion from now on

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