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Thread: The Diaper Stigma

  1. #1
    funseeker

    Default The Diaper Stigma

    Where do you think the negative stuff on wearing diapers come from? Is it parents that passed these attitudes down to family members? Has the news media ever stated positive things about diaper wearing? Few people may know when you wear a diaper but when they find out does a stigma exist? Do they accept you for the person you are when they find out you wear diapers? What do they expect you to wear if you need diapers day and night? What will it take to take this stigma away? Japan has had live Fashion Shows featuring adults in diapers on a runway for the public. Do you think any amount of advertising can change this stigma?

  2. #2

    Default

    To me, the negative stigma around diapers is simply because...they're diapers. People associate them with the nasty part of babyhood - the wet, poopy, gross things that every parent wants their kid out of. I will readily admit, as much as I enjoy wearing diapers, I'm still going to find it gross when I have kids and one of them has a really nasty accident. People have a strong negative association with bodily waste, not surprisingly, and so they are repulsed by diapers. This is probably one of the big reasons AB/DLs feel like freaks; they enjoy something that other people find gross.

    I suppose it's also a symbol of inability and need. People wear diapers because they can't control where and when they go to the bathroom. We have it drilled into us from a young age that we need to be potty trained because that's what "big boys" and "big girls" do. If an adult wears diapers, we usually assume it's for a disability. No one, at least in Western society, wants to be seen as weak and needy. It's another thing that makes us different; we embrace that "little" side, and remember our weaknesses! But I don't think that's a common perspective to take.

    Recently, I started a thread on the perception of ABDLs, because I've been very curious about this stigma. What DO people think of adults who wear diapers simply because they want to? Most of the responses suggested that the average person doesn't think too highly of the decision to diaper oneself willingly (although that, in and of itself, shouldn't change who we are!) The recent show with Stanley Thorton is an example of ABs getting press, but I'm not sure it's a good thing. If you see a random adult dressed as a baby, it's too easy to write them off as "one of those freaks". It's just something that other people do. The only way to alter the stigma, I think, is on a one-to-one level.

    As an example, have you noticed that during an election, every politician is running around like crazy trying to shake hands, say hello, and meet people? Why is that? The personal connection is key to winning votes. We may laugh at the candidate who spends time shaking hands with Bob from Smalltown instead of making big, historic speeches to the country, but Bob is going to vote for the candidate who met him and showed that he cares about him. I think it's the same thing with us. Having ABs on TV may raise awareness, but it won't change any minds. People will just look at us from a distance as crazy. But if we are able to show others, on a personal level, that we're normal people who just happen to have a different interest, we can destroy the stigma in that person's mind.

    It's not so much about destroying society-wide stigmas as it is about making ourselves known to the people we love. I think that's the only way we'll change any minds...and in the end, if the people we love know and accept us and love us, what more do we really need?

  3. #3

    Default

    as a small child, the common thing is to want to be like your "cool" big brother, or sister, ect, so most all wanted to be in "big kid underwear" and thus, out of nappies. and the competitive nature that lurks in most of us means that it could be like a race between friends to be dry, and thus cool. like when we hit puberty, and its who has the first pubes, who has had sex, who has a car. then there is the strive to be normal, and so while most do not wear nappies, it is then seen better not to wear nappies. In groups the weakest is often singled out, so when one is wearing nappies, can be singled out, (this is in large groups normal, but between good friends you are better off). I cant see nappies becoming popular, but less stigma is possible, as Japan is trying to do. we have a growing number of older people in our population, so inevitable, there will be a larger market for adult nappies. and now more children are taking longer to be potty trained, and so there are larger sizes of baby nappies out there. this means that people over there life on average may start being in nappies for longer. then such products as drynites are having much more advertising, which means there is less of a shock when people here about them with other people. Also, here in the UK, there are programs like "embarrassing bodies" ,which informs us more on the various problems people do face. Also with the internet, more people are coming out about AB's and TB's, so people are more familiarize with it. And these points are just the tip of the iceberg, so in summery, i don't think they will ever be popular, but the stigma i believe will become less.

  4. #4

    Default

    I think in part it's the same kind of stigma that comes from living at home or not being able to drive or being a virgin or whatever past a certain age. Society expects certain things from people at certain ages. When you arn't meeting those expectations, you are generally aware of it, and admitting it/someone discovering it can be humiliating.

    And of course, much like those other things, it's a common thing to poke fun at/make humor about.

    This stigma around ABDL I think comes more from the reality that the first word that floats into the mind of even intelligent open minded folk when hearing about this stuff is "pedophile".

  5. #5

    Default

    I agree with all the above. Another element is that adult babies have been made fun of for decades on television. I remember when I lived in Ohio there was a guy who owned a Chevrolet dealership. His name was Miller and his adds were Go See Miller Chevrolet. On several of his commercials he would dress up as a baby wearing a cloth diaper, a baby bonnet and he would hold a rattle. Everyone watching the tube thought this was great fun....haha. It would always make me feel uncomfortable.

    For many years, homosexuals were made fun of on television and movies, and sadly, African Americans and Asians. Those groups of people have found various levels of acceptance, but it's not likely ABs will. Wanting to dress up as a baby, wearing and using a diaper is so far outside the curve that the public will always think it weird. Frankly, I think it weird when I do it, I just don't care.

    I do agree, that if we told our friends calmly that we like to role play as a baby or toddler and let it go at that, there might be a small degree of acceptance. The sad truth,however, is that there is always a Stanley who enjoys getting his 15 minutes of fame at our expense. That we can't overcome.

  6. #6

    Default

    I have to agree with Adventurer, so much of really any negatively viewed stigma in todays society comes from an individual feeling of difference. We live in a world where it is so important for us to grow up and become 'big girls and boys' that to practice this is perpetuating a feeling of difference. We as patrons of our community have a responsibility to change the world around us if we wish it to be changed, and I think starting with those closest to us is a wonderful place to start. Unfortunately I don't know how much headway we can or will make but if we start with the people who truly know us and love us, then that's all that truly matters as far as changing our individual feeling of difference to one of acceptance. Just my 2 cents worth.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by norfolkrider View Post
    as a small child, the common thing is to want to be like your "cool" big brother, or sister, ect, so most all wanted to be in "big kid underwear" and thus, out of nappies.
    The opposite applied for me as the eldest of six - they were in nappies (not all at the same time!) and I wanted to be like them getting pampered and nappied!!

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by sambus View Post
    The opposite applied for me as the eldest of six - they were in nappies (not all at the same time!) and I wanted to be like them getting pampered and nappied!!
    perha\ps, but they proberble wanted to be like you

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by funseeker View Post
    Where do you think the negative stuff on wearing diapers come from?
    I think that the stigma around diapers gets its roots from their primary use. Diapers are first and foremost a human trash receptacle. While we also view them as a somewhat comfortable form of underwear the common view of them is not like that. There is also a great deal of social pressure to potty train children early and because of this younger children often make fun of others who are not potty trained or who have accidents. I'm sure that some of us if not all of us have been in an awkward situation during elementary school where we just couldn't hold it any longer and let go.



    Has the news media ever stated positive things about diaper wearing?
    The media is anything has hurt the public image of diapers further. They make diapers the but of jokes from time to time. I'm not sure that they really do anything to hurt the image but I don't really think they ever do anything to help it.




    Few people may know when you wear a diaper but when they find out does a stigma exist? Do they accept you for the person you are when they find out you wear diapers? What do they expect you to wear if you need diapers day and night? What will it take to take this stigma away?
    I think that if someone found out that someone needed to wear for a disability that there wouldn't be an issue with it. Some people might not be able to deal with the situation. While there shouldn't be a significant difference between wearing by choice and wearing by need the things I mentioned above seem to produce this stigma. I think that all it takes for a stigma like this to go away is for people to become more open minded and more willing to accept other peoples space.

  10. #10

    Default

    What stifles me is the very dysfunctional societal norms that are prevalent when it comes to things such as substance abuse. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs are all bad for you, but the former two are hardly regarded with any sort of revulsion at all, compared to people wearing diapers. I guess it's considered 'normal' in our society to willingly harm ourselves. No one gives another a strange look when they buy cigarettes, but when people buy diapers for other than medical purposes, they are looked at as deviants. It's really a shame.

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