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Thread: How do you deal with lazy roommates?

  1. #1

    Angry How do you deal with lazy roommates?

    This has been an issue for almost a year and I am in my opinion, incredibly patient. However, I'm at my wits end on how to handle this and the feedback that I've gotten from my roommates about them being slobs is that they honestly couldn't care less.

    Today I said, "Hey, can you please clean the dishes? They've been piled up for 3 weeks."

    Response: "They haven't been piled up for three weeks. I cleaned the dishes multiple times this week. Yeah, those are definitely yours."

    Not only is this a slap in the face, he has no problem lying to me. I'm sick and tired of everyone playing the blame game. "Oh, it's not mine, it's his."
    "Ahh, I'll clean this plate today, but just letting you know that it was roommate X."

    I've tried just waiting it out but they could honestly go the whole year without cleaning a single dish and be perfectly fine with that. Especially since I am the only roommate that bothers cleaning the dishes at all or else the whole kitchen would be a terrible mess, this is infuriating. I'm really just one step away from tossing all the dirty dishes on their beds and calling it a day, however, I don't want to be a jerk and I'd rather not make the rest of this year unbearable.

    Does anyone have any advice to get my roommates to stop shirking their responsibilities and lying to me directly to my face? I'm just so sick and tired of it that I just holed myself away in my room or else I'd wind up blowing up in peoples faces.

  2. #2
    Supersam1223

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    Buy a tazer! Then you can zap them when they're being lazy arseholes! Lol, I don't suggest you do that.

    You could just do only the dishes that you need and not touch any of the others, and then when they find that they are in need of a dish they will have no choice but to clean the dishes, or buy new ones. If that fails, go with the tazer.

    I am getting the impression that they know that you will do it anyway, so why bother? If you stop they might start.

  3. #3

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    I'd see it as an experiment.

    How bad do you think it can get?

    Find out!

    Get your own single dishes. Wash then when you're done. Put them up in your room.

    See what happens to kitchen/dishes.

  4. #4

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    Have a talk with them and agree with assigned responsibilities in the house (room).

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Supersam1223 View Post
    Buy a tazer! Then you can zap them when they're being lazy arseholes! Lol, I don't suggest you do that.

    You could just do only the dishes that you need and not touch any of the others, and then when they find that they are in need of a dish they will have no choice but to clean the dishes, or buy new ones. If that fails, go with the tazer.

    I am getting the impression that they know that you will do it anyway, so why bother? If you stop they might start.
    This. They know you'll just do the dishes anyway, so there is no incentive for them to do it.

    At this point, you're a year in. They've pretty plainly demonstrated they're not interested in doing their fair share. At some point, you either have to accept that they won't do anything, so you either need to just do your own dishes and clean your own stuff and let them deal with the rest, accepting that the place will be nasty for awhile, or you have to take strong action. I actually did the dirty dishes on the bed with a former roommate of mine. I had asked him to wash his stuff several times over three or four weeks, and I finally got fed up. When he started to complain that the dishes were on his bed, I told him straight out that I'd asked him several times to do his dishes and he hadn't, so I was dealing with it. I don't know what he ever did with that pile of dishes, but they never reappeared.

    As a question, whose name is on the lease? If you're the primary leaseholder and they're just tenants, don't be scared to play hardball a bit. If you're all co-leasing, or one of them is the primary leaseholder, then start considering other living options. I'm not saying to just move out willy-nilly, but start thinking through some of those longer-term questions.

    Good luck! I know how dealing with slob roommates can be, and it's very rarely fun (and in my experience it very rarely gets resolved).

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by LunaCat View Post
    Get your own single dishes. Wash then when you're done. Put them up in your room.
    ^ What he said.

    To me, it simply looks like you ended up with the wrong kind of roommates for you. There are some people for whom living in a clean and tidy house is not at all on the priorities list.

    From their reaction, it's clear they'll never cooperate and they don't give a damn about household chores. And if the house is, partly, theirs (as in, partly paid by them), there's no way you can force them to do otherwise because, as disgusting as it sounds, they have the right to live in their own dirt if they want. So, the best thing you can do for your peace of mind is having your own kitchen stuff, not cleaning a single bit of all the rest unless you need it, and leaving their stuff in the same state you found it.

    Will they, at some point, start cleaning stuff on their own? I don't really think so, but at least you'll avoid hopeless fights with your cavemen roommates.

  7. #7

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    Thanks you guys. I'm gonna start following your advice on keeping my own dishes and utensils in my room and just leaving the mess they leave alone and just try to ignore it. I didn't want to do that before because I have a feeling it will annoy the roommate that I share a room with (the one that doesn't really contribute to the mess) but it looks like that's how it's going to have to be. I don't want to start an argument, especially with one of them leaving after this semester and the other one leaving after the fall, but it's more the frustrating.

  8. #8

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    Ugh, trying to deal with this now. Dishes have been sitting around for 2 weeks, so they shoved the sink full. I wasn't waiting another couple days for them to be cleaned, as I clean my dishes immediately after I'm done (and already keep my dishes in my room) so I just started cleaning in the over full sink. Obviously, water got everywhere. Cue housemate who thinks I should clean it up right away. I said it's their fault for filling the entire sink and not leaving room for me to clean my dishes. Bonus points as he just tracked mud all through the kitchen while he was telling me to clean up. Ten minutes later I had the perfect comeback, but it was way too late. >:

    This is the third time the sink has gotten this full, and I end up having to go next door to clean dishes. I really don't see why they find it so hard to clean their dishes AT LEAST once a day...

  9. #9

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    I completely agree with you. There's a total disregard for doing their part around the house but as soon as you do something, they're all over it like bears on honey.

  10. #10

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    you should put their dishes and their mess in their respective rooms ,and call it done.. when they bitch just shrug and say i'm sick of seeing your mess.. let them figure it out..eventually they will.

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