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Thread: my boyfriend told me his secret

  1. #1

    Default my boyfriend told me his secret

    Hi, recently my boyfriend of a year decided to come out to me as a diaper lover. I decided to join this site so that I could learn more about the community he is involved in, get advice so that I can understand it better, and possibly give advice to others in a similar situation.

    My first reaction when my boyfriend told me, was surprise. I honestly had never heard of diaper lovers or adult babies - so I asked a lot of questions to help me understand what it involves, and how long it affects people. To be honest, I wasn't sure if it was a phase or if it was a life-long committment. After reading these posts, I now know that it isn't a fleeting interest, and many people struggle with this secret. From my point of view, I think all of you are completely normal. So what you like to wear diapers? It doesn't hurt anyone and it makes you happy, so I don't think you should feel shame in something that gives you pleasure.

    As you can probably tell, I'm very accepting of this AB/DL community. However, I can see why some people would be uncomfortable with it. I think my biggest concern was that I think its okay to do something to make you happy, but I think it starts to be a problem when you rely on it to make you happy.

    In other news, I decided to participate in diaper wearing last week to show my boyfriend that I couldn't care less what he's wearing, because I still love him for him. The experience wasn't bad and I didn't find it awkward at all and I've stressed to him that he can be comfortable wearing and wetting around me. I'm not sure how I feel about messing yet, so I think I'll need more time to take that step.

    The main reason I'm writing this is because I want to help other people who have fears about coming out to their significant others. I can offer some insight and tips about timing and how to do it, and I want to give you all some hope that you will be accepted because it seems like there's mostly negative feedback.

  2. #2


    It sounds like you have a real grasp on the situation, your boyfriend is lucky to have you. one thing that i often warn people about is telling others that may hold it against them, but i can see no problem like that with you.

  3. #3


    That's great that you're so accepting of it. I know from experience that it can be hard for people to come to accept so I'm sure he's extremely glad with how well you took everything.

  4. #4


    well first i would like to thank you for being so exsepting of our community and i thank you even more for trying on a diaper. not many people would do that. if you want alot of information i sugest to go to Understanding Infantilism it is a great site that tells you all you really need to know.
    but sence you are here i can give you some information, and i am sure others can help as well.
    it is not uncommon for people to not hear about our little community because most of us like to keep to ourslefs and not force our culture onto others. as you said diapers do not hurt anyone so most people are not conserned about us. the people that dont like us are the ones that we are pedifiles, but realy our culture has noting to do with kids. we just focus on acting younger ABs and diapers DLs along with AB parents. so i thank you agian for reserching what we really are and not just assuming somthing.
    that is all the information i can give you at the time. the link above to that site is a really great resouse and well exsplan things better then i can. so i well leave you to reading that.

  5. #5


    Ahh bless, it's always nice to see this happening!

    Remember, there's still a long road to go... At first I thought I was accepting, and then I found it weird, then downright disgusting, and now I'm back to it being mostly ok again. I do still get mood swings on the matter though!

    Good luck to you and your boyfriend

  6. #6


    Thanks for the other source kitty3!
    and talula, I can see what you mean about the mood swings. I have felt a little overwhelmed at times because I didn't even know this community existed before a few weeks ago, but I keep an open mind and I don't see my boyfriend as any different than I did before. His love of diapers is just an extra part I didn't know about before, but I honestly feel grateful that he trusts me with his private secrets.

  7. #7


    I would say also that you fell in love with this guy, so as long as he doesn't change, then it should all be fine, even if you didn't know about this side of him.

  8. #8


    @ hockeyblazersgf ...

    So your boyfreind likes Diapers so he is a DL. Does he like any other related lifestyles like AB roleplay ect?

    I think that you are brave to even contemplate continuing your relationship. I have heard of established relationships ended by a partner admitting their AB/DL lifestyle. I reckon that most relationships do not end because of the revelation of the DL lifestyle but that the DL lifestyle is used as an excuse over other issues. You have accepted him and his creature comforts and most of all you havn't used it to attack him for petty reasons. I wish I could say that there were more young women in this world like you!

    It also says a lot about your boyfreind becauase he did not keep it as a life secret or an open but unspoken taboo. He was honest with you and considerate of your need to know him completely. You may feel appreciation that your boyfreind felt secure in your relationship enough to do this.

    Your post doesn't just make me happy for society but it also makes me happy for you both as a couple *hearts*

    Good luck to you both and your new adventure.

    Elain. xx

  9. #9


    That's awesome that you are so accepting of it. I'm in a very similar situation. My boyfriend just came out a few months ago about being a diaper lover. He does have some AB tendencies but mostly is into diapers for as long as he can remember. When he told me I was very surprised. I have never even know about this community. I've gone through the mood swings that Talula has described but now I've discovered that I actually enjoy participating with him. I'm finding myself to enjoy the AB aspects of it. In fact, I just ordered a Nuk 5 pacifier for myself. It is great to think that he felt secure in our relationship and trustworthy of me to tell me since he is divorced and his wife had a very hard time with it and used it against him for any little thing he did. She even had the nerve to tell his entire family and friends about it. So for him to come out and trust me with it is huge. He was literally shaking when he told me but I'm so thankful he did and it's brought us so much closer together. I wish you two the best of luck!

  10. #10


    That's extremely cool of you to be so accepting, and even participatory. You're one awesome girlfriend.

    I've been contemplating telling my girlfriend for a while now...I hope she takes similarly to how you have.

    You mentioned in your post that when you tried it with him, that it wasn't a bad experience. I'm just curious, have you found yourself to be enjoying it more and more as time goes on?

    Thanks again for your post!

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