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Thread: Totally Turned Off

  1. #1

    Default Totally Turned Off

    Hello all. It has been a while since I have posted around here! My internship, school, and research grant I am writing takes up most of my free time these days >__< however, I value your time, so I will get on with the post I suppose...

    After I spent last summer working in China and ever since I got back to the U.S. I noticed some changes in myself. One that I have been "keeping an eye on" for a while is the fact that I have pretty much lost any interest in being with "Western Women". I find myself these days more attracted to Asian(primarily Chinese) women than I am to Western Women. In fact Western women are pretty much a complete turn off for me, whereas just 9 months ago they were a turn on for me.

    Basically I just find Asian females much more interesting. The Chinese girls that I am friends with live a much more interesting life than many western girls I have known in the past. Most of my Chinese friends are exchange students/ recently immigrated to the U.S, they speak Chinese and English fluently, and have a culture that I find absolutely fascinating. Since I can speak a fair amount of Mandarin, I am able to converse with my Chinese friends and practice my command of the language. I love to learn about the Chinese culture and many other things. This, amongst other things is why I find Asian people and Chinese people so interesting, which stems to why I think I am now more attracted to Asian/Chinese women more so than Western women.

    I am wondering if anyone else had ever experienced a shift in attraction to certain genders, races, etc and why you think that happened/what caused it. I hope this post doesn't seem too "Yeah...and your point is". I am at a bit of a loss of words for how to describe my perspective on this and the why I have experienced this shift (not saying it is a bad thing!). Anyway, I would love to hear some feedback from your own experiences and your ideas as to why you think this has become the case for me.

    谢谢你! (Mandarin for "Thank you")

  2. #2

    Default

    To me it sounds more like your taste in personality has changed not just the race you are interested in. I too find a lot of Western people in generally very boring. It sounds like you just need to find someone you connect with on that intellectual level. I think a lot of Western people have been brainwashed in a way by TV and ads to look a certain way, do certain things. There are people out there who do have a good sense of culture, who think about the world around them.

  3. #3

    Default

    Could be that you have discovered something in their culture more in tune with your personal tastes, or it could just be the variety factor (new things are always exciting and usually seem better than what you are used to).

  4. #4

    Default

    It sounds like less of a change per se and more of a self-discovery. Your recent experiences have introduced you to options that didn't exist to you before (I don't mean this to refer to people as mere options, just the ideas of what would make a potential mate appealing to you), and now that you've seen these options, you find them wholly more appealing than your previous options.

    Consider something like food. I grew up in a small farm town in Michigan. Although it was the biggest town in the county, it only had three sit-down restaurants, three fast-food restaurants, and a couple of pizza places. This meant that the only food options I knew of growing up were very typical, generally bland Midwestern foods, and pizza. There were Friday fish fries at a couple of the local bars, the couple of pizza places (Little Caesars and Pizza Hut), burgers, and basic sandwiches. My town, and the county, got its first experience in pizza delivery in 1998 and its first taste of Chinese food shortly after that.

    This lack of variety meant that in 1997, I could have never dreamed that Chinese food, especially orange chicken, would be my favorite food and that I'd grow to only want steak about once a year. Now, when I go to visit my family I find the food to be so bland and boring, whereas when I was growing up I thought it was fantastic. I used to think my mom's chili was really good, but now I have to doctor it up with cheese and salt and pepper and crackers just to add some flavor so I can eat it. Our tastes in food, drink, and potential mates grow, evolve, and mature as we get older and wiser.

    Maybe something similar has happened with you. You've gone abroad and met these really fascinating and deep people, and you're suddenly finding your previous options to be bland and unappealing. It seems to me that isn't really a problem as much as it is just something that's happened. I'd say to go with it for awhile and see how it plays out.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by xbabyx View Post
    It sounds like less of a change per se and more of a self-discovery. Your recent experiences have introduced you to options that didn't exist to you before (I don't mean this to refer to people as mere options, just the ideas of what would make a potential mate appealing to you), and now that you've seen these options, you find them wholly more appealing than your previous options.

    Consider something like food. I grew up in a small farm town in Michigan. Although it was the biggest town in the county, it only had three sit-down restaurants, three fast-food restaurants, and a couple of pizza places. This meant that the only food options I knew of growing up were very typical, generally bland Midwestern foods, and pizza. There were Friday fish fries at a couple of the local bars, the couple of pizza places (Little Caesars and Pizza Hut), burgers, and basic sandwiches. My town, and the county, got its first experience in pizza delivery in 1998 and its first taste of Chinese food shortly after that.

    This lack of variety meant that in 1997, I could have never dreamed that Chinese food, especially orange chicken, would be my favorite food and that I'd grow to only want steak about once a year. Now, when I go to visit my family I find the food to be so bland and boring, whereas when I was growing up I thought it was fantastic. I used to think my mom's chili was really good, but now I have to doctor it up with cheese and salt and pepper and crackers just to add some flavor so I can eat it. Our tastes in food, drink, and potential mates grow, evolve, and mature as we get older and wiser.

    Maybe something similar has happened with you. You've gone abroad and met these really fascinating and deep people, and you're suddenly finding your previous options to be bland and unappealing. It seems to me that isn't really a problem as much as it is just something that's happened. I'd say to go with it for awhile and see how it plays out.
    Ah, so you grew up in a small Michigan town as well! I like your analogy with the food options and changing tastes. However, just as an FYI, Orange Chicken in an American variation of Chinese food. Real Chinese food is WAY more delicious than the stuff you can get ay Chinese restaurants in the U.S. I don't really see this change as a problem at all (though the tone of my writing suggested that, my bad). I actually prefer being attracted to Asians more than being attracted to Westerners. I am all for exploring and rolling with this side of myself for as long as I can. If I am awarded the grant I am applying for, then I can go back to China this summer

    Thanks for your input!

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