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Thread: Perception of AB/DLs

  1. #1

    Default Perception of AB/DLs

    Hi everyone,

    Lately I've been thinking about what the world must think of adult babies and diaper lovers. My first impression was that people outside this community must think we're freaks. I know full well that we're not...but to most people, wouldn't it seem a little weird that adults would enjoy wearing diapers and returning to babyhood?

    But as I think about it more, I'm realizing that fetishes in general are becoming more and more openly discussed in society. Nowadays, common things like bondage are considered pretty normal (even Justin Timberlake mentioned it in that Sexyback song a few years back). In general, as society becomes more sexually liberal, I would think that sexual fetishes would be looked down on less.

    However, I'm still not sure how people would view adult babies. All kinds of sexual fetishes are becoming more and more common, but being an AB isn't a sexual thing. I can't think of any parallel that would be commonly known. So I'm still not sure how people would perceive us ABs.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on this? How do people outside the community perceive ABs and DLs?

    (And incidentally, the way the world thinks of us won't affect my status as an AB/DL. I'm not going to be swayed by what other people say. I'm just curious).

  2. #2

    Default

    Hi Adventurer,

    I think people are getting more and more accepting these days and I'd wager those of us who are younger than have an easier time telling people about their alternative lifestyles than those of us who who are older than me.

    I teach at an adult role-play school, where a bunch of adults of all ages pretend to be 11 years old, get taught stuff, mess around and, if they like, get spanked. I don't like the spanking bit so much (although I'm told I'm extremely good at it) but it is nice that my long and expensive education is being used for the general good of people. The older people at this school do not tell their families, friends or even usually their partners. I think it is quite sad that the 'head girl' at the school (who is in her mid-50s) feels she cannot tell her husband that she likes being a schoolgirl who ges spanked when she's naughty, but that is how she lives. The people my age and below all seem to tell their partners, and the younger ones their broader families and friends. That seems a much better state of being to me.

    As far as being an AB goes, I've been fairly lucky in that I have always been quite confident, generally friendly and have had a core of close friends who have stuck close to me no matter what. It's never been a problem for me, telling friends or family - my mother even re-stuffed my favourite teddy bear recently. Any one who is vaguely close to me (or reads my website) soon knows that, at least, I have a teddy bear with me all the time.

    No one I have told has ever reacted badly to me. They giggle in an embarrassed manner or blush and not know what to say. Most of my female friends always want to cuddle my teddy bear when I get him out (in private locations, I hasten to add), and my male friends might not be that uninhibited (they're mostly English, you see) but all are fine when I cuddle my teddy or say, "Yes, daddy" to my partner in their company.

    The worst that happened, well, it wasn't so bad: I knew someone when I was 18 who liked to rub his 'rude bit' with sandpaper. OUCH! NO THANKS! He was very open about it and *gag* would show pictures if you seemed even slightly less than scandalised. So I thought I'd get a positive response telling him I liked to wear nappies and baby clothes. When I did he said, "Nappies and baby clothes? Isn't that a bit, well, odd?" I replied, "So how are the scars on your bell-end, Gerald?" He laughted and the word odd was never raised in the rest of our conversation.

    So we may be seen as being different, even odd, but I don't think anyone thinks really badly of us.

    Waves,
    Davy.

  3. #3

    Default

    I'd say their impression is YUCK!
    A co-worker Anna (last name not starting with a "B") returned from vacation today and I said "Hey AB"! She replyed with a "hunh?" I countered with "Anna Bannanna" (one of her nicknames) "or is that Adult Baby?" Her reply was "ouow yuck!" I blew it off asking if she'd seen the Simpsons last Sunday. She hadn't but it diverted the subject while staying on topic.

  4. #4

    Default

    I've done some research onto Yahoo Answers where people ask questions either about their spouses wearing diapers, or their son or daughter, and the responses from the general public has not been good. The clear majority have never heard of "liking diapers" and you would be surprised and dismayed by the number who equate it to pedophilia. The American public, for the most part, is uneducated and stupid. Remember, 52% or Alabamans think Obama is an Arab or Islamic, from the last public poll.

    If you've ever seen Jay Leno's Jay Walking, most of the American public doesn't even know who the vice president is, or who was fighting who in the Civil War. Sadly, you will always encounter ignorance, especially regarding infantilism. After all, the word infantilism isn't even found in the Fire Fox spell checker.

  5. #5

    Default

    Seems to me that it will eventually make its way out, being AB like you said is not so much a fetish. It is more of a life style and an alternate identity. Other examples would be furies, and gays, both of which are not necessarily fetishes, but more of a different way of viewing one's self. I think after a while it will be better understood, meanwhile I think Europe has the lead on public tolerance in comparison to the US toward AB/Dl's

  6. #6

    Default

    Being conservative, frankly I'm a little bit worried about a more accepting public anyway. It would be nice if ABs were tollerated and weren't compared to pedos, but the more I think about it, I'd be worried if the public was more accepting because it could mean that society tollerates too much. Will it tollerate promiscuity? cheating? etc? Is "slut" that Rush Limbough called that one woman no longer going to be an insult? There was a time when "Don Juan," "sleeze," and "gigalo" were just as insulting to men as "whore," "slut," "tramp" is to women, and not just badges of honor like they are today.

    Secondly, I would much rather society work on tollerating LGBTs first because they outnumber us 100:1 or 1000:1, and even some of our fellow ABDLs are LGBTs. I'd like gays not to have to go through high school worrying about their closets. I'd like straights not being beat up or threatenned because of others perception of them being gay. I'd like a woman couple to not get chastized in the middle of a restaurant by an ignorant @#$%. I'd like both gay married couples and straight married couples to be able to share a will, house, bank account, and benefits from a non-religious public company without any government having to recognize their marriage. I think society can keep moral standards without persecuting LGBTs. When they can achieve that goal with LGBTs, then maybe they can work on ABDLs, hopefully without going into complete sexual immorality. If someone says to people like me, "we got to tollerate those now too???" and uses that excuse to murder a homosexual or perceived homosexual what will that gain me?

  7. #7

    Default

    It will be a better world when people will BEGIN to TRY understanding each other...

    We are not talking about killing someone, nor violating someone else's freedom, nor violating laws that are helping all of us living together...
    We are talking about the freedom of being who we are without worrying of what, e.g., our roommate would think of us ABDL...

    And all of us may, simply or not, recognize that such a world is simply utopia...

    A world where people who likes diapers and act as a baby is not seen by common people, at first sight, as a pedo... Simply does not exists... People is too diffident, doesn't like changes, doesn't like people who acts weirdly around his garden...

    I hope someday there's a change... Like some tv show focused on the matter, or some incredible "scandal" (like the president of the US being ABDL... Or, better, our berlusconi XD) that will force people to investigate about being ABDL... About who we are and, principally, who we are NOT.

    I think that, for now, it is our only hope to become widely known and (widely?) accepted.

  8. #8
    chuchu

    Default

    no, you cannot compare being an AB to being gay, whoever said that.
    you also cannot compare it to a sexual fetish, that makes it sound creepy.
    the ignorance of parents and people that shouldn't be involved in this at all is sickening. makes me want to go do hard drugs and drop out of school, since they act as if that's what we're doing.
    my mom when she caught me with diapers freaked out and took them, called me a weird-ass bitch and left, only to return an hour later, tell me she looked into it, give them back, and said we were never going to talk about "this" again.
    my dad threw me across the house and told me to get rid of them.

    ---------- Post added at 16:03 ---------- Previous post was at 15:57 ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by HokieABDL View Post
    Being conservative, frankly I'm a little bit worried about a more accepting public anyway. It would be nice if ABs were tollerated and weren't compared to pedos, but the more I think about it, I'd be worried if the public was more accepting because it could mean that society tollerates too much. Will it tollerate promiscuity? cheating? etc? Is "slut" that Rush Limbough called that one woman no longer going to be an insult? There was a time when "Don Juan," "sleeze," and "gigalo" were just as insulting to men as "whore," "slut," "tramp" is to women, and not just badges of honor like they are today.

    Secondly, I would much rather society work on tollerating LGBTs first because they outnumber us 100:1 or 1000:1, and even some of our fellow ABDLs are LGBTs. I'd like gays not to have to go through high school worrying about their closets. I'd like straights not being beat up or threatenned because of others perception of them being gay. I'd like a woman couple to not get chastized in the middle of a restaurant by an ignorant @#$%. I'd like both gay married couples and straight married couples to be able to share a will, house, bank account, and benefits from a non-religious public company without any government having to recognize their marriage. I think society can keep moral standards without persecuting LGBTs. When they can achieve that goal with LGBTs, then maybe they can work on ABDLs, hopefully without going into complete sexual immorality. If someone says to people like me, "we got to tollerate those now too???" and uses that excuse to murder a homosexual or perceived homosexual what will that gain me?
    i don't see how you can say what you did about society accepting bad things because they accept abdl, when abdl is not a bad thing. aren't you an AB? do you look down on yourself?
    and yeah, the lgbt thing needs to be concentrated on, but just because that is in progress doesn't mean we can't work toward being treated like normal people too.

  9. #9

    Default

    In my opinion, it's already as accepted as it needs to be. It's not illegal to buy and use diapers and other things. It's a private lifestyle by nature somewhat.

    I wouldn't expect nudists to be able to walk around naked full time (at the movies, dining out, at Wal-Mart ..) even though that's considered a "lifestyle" too. So I don't expect AB/DL to be so open and accepted either. Take it for what it is and enjoy it.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by chuchu View Post
    no, you cannot compare being an AB to being gay, whoever said that.
    you also cannot compare it to a sexual fetish, that makes it sound creepy.
    the ignorance of parents and people that shouldn't be involved in this at all is sickening. makes me want to go do hard drugs and drop out of school, since they act as if that's what we're doing.
    my mom when she caught me with diapers freaked out and took them, called me a weird-ass bitch and left, only to return an hour later, tell me she looked into it, give them back, and said we were never going to talk about "this" again.
    my dad threw me across the house and told me to get rid of them.

    ---------- Post added at 16:03 ---------- Previous post was at 15:57 ----------



    i don't see how you can say what you did about society accepting bad things because they accept abdl, when abdl is not a bad thing. aren't you an AB? do you look down on yourself?
    and yeah, the lgbt thing needs to be concentrated on, but just because that is in progress doesn't mean we can't work toward being treated like normal people too.
    I am really sorry all that happenned to you and I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone. I would not want abusive behavior to be tollerated in any society and one priority society should always focus on is not to be abusive to anyone. There is no excuse to be abusive to anyone. Also, to clarify, I am indeed an AB and a DL, and the AB side of me is less sexual than the DL side of me, very much what seems to be like everyone else among my fellow ABDLs. I was just being honest, because I would have rather been beaten and left for dead by ignorant persecutors who discover my identity, than have them do that to a member of the LGBT community, when it is much more common knowlege that they cannot help themselves in being who they are and don't hurt anyone.

    I would also much rather be shamed, scorned, and condemned by society if they discover my identity, even if it is the non-sexual AB side, than to have a society that tollerates sexual promiscuity, exposure of children to pornogrophy, and no concept of restraint. I know not all ABDLs are sexual as there are many who aren't. I saw the triangle on understandind.infantilism.org and when I came to this site and believe that this site is a Godsend. I want society to tollerate all of us, ABDLs, LGBTs, foot fettishists, role players, D&Ss, etc., who are who we are and neither hurt anyone or ourselves, nor become a burden to society. I may be naive, but I think some of the afore mentioned groups might not always be sexual, but all have some tie to sexuallity or a perceived tie to sexuality. My main concern is I believe society can be fooled into tollerating something that hurts people when we don't know that it hurts people and use the items that don't hurt people to excuse it. I wouldn't want society to tollerate drugs, compulsive gambling, or alcohol abuse. It is easy to see those three as potentially dangerous to oneself. It is not so easy to see sexuality as potentially dangerous to oneself.

    My point is everything that you want society to tollerate should be brought out slowly and discretely, until you know society can handle it. It may be wrong, but it is my opinion.

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