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Thread: Here Goes

  1. #1

    Default Here Goes

    Well, I figured I'd make my first post on this site. Honestly, while I came to this site liking the idea that this is a support site, I realized that I have thoroughly researched this subject to the point where all the information being given is something that I already know since researching is one of the few things that I can do in the mean time. Even so, I still feel extremely uncomfortable about being interested in ABDL'ism and I'm not entirely sure where to take a next step.
    I'd like to start having conversations with people but I know I'm very anxious in social situations and talking to people is usually a pretty draining experience to me. Either way I figure I'd bite the bullet and open up with this forum post and get past the initial wall of saying something.
    I guess I'm wondering how you all became more comfortable with this?

  2. #2

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    I have always still been pretty kid-like though.. such as liking to snuggle up with plushies sometimes so it kind of just came to me really. I'm still brand new and kinda experimenting with it. At least as far as diapers are concerned. I'm somewhat comfortable with it.. as far as the idea of doing it. Not comfortable enough t go buy them in stores yet. It was hard enough just buying some powder.

    And as crazy as it sounds, someone I know just happened to be on the next isle from me when I was in the baby section looking at the powder! She didn't see me but I heard her calling for one of her grandkids which is what tipped me off her being around. She has a loud distinctive voice and was seriously only about 10 feet away from me. But thanks to being on the other side and walking away she didn't see me there.

    Makes me nervous about even buying that kinda stuff!

  3. #3

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    With me it was something that I needed to accept, and it did take a lot of years to come to terms with me being how I am, it was only about 10 years ago that I know it would be with me for my life and did start to take to heart that I'm a big baby and not felt so guilty about my infantilism. Over the years I bought baby items and trashed them feeling guilty and saying what is wrong with me, most of trash a couple of thousand of pounds over the years. I did have a fully set up nursery, with cot, high chair changing table, in a room, and that went. But when I started there was not a lot of support and did not have the internet at the time, so I thought I was mad and felt alone. But I think it all depends on yourself and talking it over with trusting people and friends and only you can accept, how you are and having a understanding about yourself, but with good help and by talking to others you will begin to accept your adult babyhood, I know what your going through and if you need to talk your welcome to talk to me!

  4. #4

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    For me, wanting to be back in diapers started when I was 4 years old, and it never went away. As a child, I would have vivid dreams about finding diapers, and trying them on. Once puberty hit, it was a done deal, and I was obsessed with makeshift diapers and pants wetting. There was no internet, and I thought I was crazy. After self gratification, I always felt dirty and stupid, but by the next day or two, I was compelled to do it again. Eventually I was discovered by my mom, and had to see a shrink.

    I think over the years, you begin to accept all of this. For me, it was never going away, and now, with my wife knowing and accepting, I can really get into it and enjoy it. It hurts no one, and it enables me to go to my little self. It's funny, but it never gets old, so I just enjoy wearing and wetting diapers, and regressing into that toddler/baby mindset.

  5. #5

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    When I was much younger (8-11), I didn't even give it a second thought. I knew I liked diapers, pacifiers, etc. Only when I was much older (12+) and much more in tune with the world did I begin to have my doubts. I knew what I did wasn't the norm among people my age and for the most part I was off and on. Regretting and disappointed at who I was to fully accepting myself.
    I eventually got comfortable with it after trying to give it up (for the nth time). I went a few months but then realized that it was who I am. Who is to tell me that because I am in a minority what I do is wrong? So I simply learned to accept this is who I am. Just be confident in whatever you do and you'll be comfortable with it.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by vittoriaYvictory View Post
    When I was much younger (8-11), I didn't even give it a second thought. I knew I liked diapers, pacifiers, etc. Only when I was much older (12+) and much more in tune with the world did I begin to have my doubts. I knew what I did wasn't the norm among people my age and for the most part I was off and on.
    This sounds a lot like me. When you are young and innocent, you simple 'are'. There is no questioning your feelings or struggles to accept your attributes. You certainly don't care about what society considers acceptable or otherwise. Therefore, since this has been with me for as long as I can remember, I had many years in which I never second guessed myself. My 'little' side grew unbounded and although I wasn't able to act out in the ways I can now that I am in my own house, the emotions behind it ran wild.

    Then, entering the teen years, I began to grow aware of what the outside world thought of my 'eccentricities'. This led to an internal struggle since I had felt sure of myself for so long. I suppose I was stuck in this mode for most of middle and high school. I never really felt as if I could get over it, since I understood what it meant to me. However, I would occasionally panic if this meant I would constantly feel so conflicted for the rest of my life.

    Bottom line: it just takes time. Once I got into college and had some of my own space, I got much more comfortable in my skin. I ventured out on my own and built my life. By surrounding myself with good friends, I came to realize we all have our differences, our unique likes and dislikes. Really, I quit measuring what I felt against what others did and simply enjoyed the comfort it provided to me...and still does

  7. #7

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    Thanks for all of your responses. I feel like this is something that I gotta just try growing comfortable with over time. Which I admit really stinks for someone as impatient as me. xD



    Quote Originally Posted by onecho View Post
    Bottom line: it just takes time. Once I got into college and had some of my own space, I got much more comfortable in my skin. I ventured out on my own and built my life. By surrounding myself with good friends, I came to realize we all have our differences, our unique likes and dislikes. Really, I quit measuring what I felt against what others did and simply enjoyed the comfort it provided to me...and still does
    I'm in college myself but despite not living with parents, I still don't have the freedom to do much since I'm living with three other people. I also guess that most of the problem lies in, even without the fetish, being able to be comfortable in my own skin, which is also something that you can't forcibly change, despite trying as much as possible. Also, I hope with this site I'd be able to surround myself with good friends.

    Again, thanks for all the nice responses.

  8. #8

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    I find myself agreeing with all the posts and I too started about age 4-5 then went away till I was 11-12 and started buying plastic pants even making something similar I am ashamed to say using plastic bags with elastic bands. I too was caught by Mother at around age 15 and taken to doctor and I agreed I would stop which I did for a little while. Although thoughts were there but had to suppress them. Then I moved to my fathers and continued far more than I ever did and like a few said I felt lonely. No one to talk to my father didn't and still doesn't understand. While I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers I don't tell them anything as far as they are aware I stopped. My youngest sister is married with 2 children of her own I love them to bits. But when My sister was pregnant with 1st I was told to see a councilor otherwise I would be ex communicated. Not in those words but as close as damn it. I did see councilor and he made me realize there is nothing wrong in being AB. He asked me to explain what I get from it and how it makes me feel. More or less telling me that if it makes me comfortable and gives me a place to retreat to then what harm? I am married too since 2004 and my wife knows the the full story and while she doesn't partake she lets me get on with it too. As long as it's not all the time. I will admit I would love to be fed in highchair by her but ain't gonna happen. She did change me when she 1st found out and experimented a little but there it ended. I agree this is a great place to come and chat I still find it difficult buying nappies I always make sure chemist is clear and have to go in with written note for Tena slip. I then ask for receipt to make it look like I am getting them for someone else. I know I can't help it Chemist must know they are for me but would prefer to think he doesn't. take care all

  9. #9

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    Yeah there's difference between a lot of other sites. Mostly perverted stuff everywheres. I didn't open up to any website before i landed here. Ive posted more here than any site combined, by far. It seems like there's some sort of maturity factor here that some sites don't have.

  10. #10

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    I can emphasize with how you're feeling. My AB feelings didn't crop up til I was about ten, but I always knew they were different, so I kept to myself for a very long time. I also battled with them, going through many years of trying to cut it out because I was convinced it made me some sort of freak, or inferior. Only very recently did I accept it, and it only came after a long time of realizing that it doesn't hurt anybody, it's not going away, and it's actually been really beneficial to me. Taking time to reconcile with God was important, too. In the end, it takes a lot of time, mistakes, and uncertainty. But talking with others through this site has really helped. Best of luck!

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