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Thread: What are the chances of growing out of a fetish?

  1. #1

    Default What are the chances of growing out of a fetish?

    I made a blog which some members may or may not have seen that talks about how I no longer have any desire to wear after I managed to...alter my mind strongly one night. Here's the blog for those who wish to read, and do take heed to the warnings:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/blogs/the...my-fetish.html

    Thing is that some members told me it's just a purge, but it just doesn't feel like a purge. With a purge you feel grossed out and all that but still have the essence of the desire to wear, like you know it's good for you all the time, or however you want to put it. But I don't even feel that. It's not voluntary, I'm not repressing it or anything. I just feel like it's GONE.

    I want to know if I'm just tricking myself, or if I really could have grown out of it. "Sexually matured," if you will.

  2. #2

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    I've never had a "binge-purge" cycle in the commonly understood meaning of the phrase - that is, I never bought loads of stuff and then threw it away - but I've had periods of time lasting months where I had no desire to wear diapers. I've very often used diaper-fic as erotica during those periods though, so it's never completely left me, but it wasn't very present either.

    Sexuality is fluid, it can come and go like a tide or a river changing course, so maybe you have "grown out of it." You're young, so maybe that makes it more plausible.
    I just hope you don't get too invested in "not being DL any more" - if it comes back you may end up feeling bad over it.

  3. #3

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    To be honest my friend, I don't know, you know yourself better than I do. By the sound of it though it does sound like you're going through a bit of an internal struggle between your ego and your sexual desires. I once decided I was sick of hating myself for being weird and dreaded the thought of anyone finding out. I threw out my stash and denounced my fetish, keeping my eye on what I thought was the 'normal' me. It was going great, I felt like I was just like everyone else and I can relate to them on a new level like I was free of my secret burdens. It was gone and I wasn't looking back, but as you know the mind tends to wander. My mind's eye started glancing back every now and then as I thought, 'man remember how that was?'. And then the nostalgia kicked in and I quickly looked away. I missed the feeling but would rather repress it, but the more I turned away from it the more I suffered. So I relapsed, I was only kidding myself thinking I'd just forget it and be ok with it. The purge period lasted about six months. It didn't stop there though, I hadn't accepted it as a part of myself yet and suffered depression and anxiety over it just like I had before. When I finally learned to love myself for everything I am regardless of what others think was I finally able to accept it and become whole with myself. The way I see it is there is no purpose or meaning to live a certain way but to just play the game of life with the cards you are dealt. Everything we define as our self is merely an illusion of the mind apart from what the universe actually is, so why live a way where others define you, only you know what makes you happy. You are the eyes of the world and who says you have to experience it in a specific way. I just prefer to live a life with the least amount of suffering. As we all know this fetish is a part of our sexuality, and our sexuality is engraved in the back of our human minds, unable to be changed (or so we believe). For me, repressing my sexual desires was a clear definition of denial, which was only hurting me. Being in denial of a desire only makes it worse. If you wish to detach from the desire first you must acknowledge the desire, then accept it for what it truly is by seeing both perspectives, then you can go about the steps of severing the attachment. But as I have seen as a part of accepting this fetish is that it's a part of your sexual mapping and that is something that is written in stone in your early years of development, and that stone will remain until the universe sees that it meets its end of existence. I too still see it as weird and rather live without it, I'd be in denial if I didn't feel that way and just be stuck on the opposite side of the spectrum I started out on. I see myself in the middle, I indulge moderately in ways that don't hurt me. But that's my story, and a wall of text. I hope you find your way through all of this, but if not we'll always be here for you. Travel safely on your journey, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve.

  4. #4

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    Not good unless it is replaced with something else. People can purge for years and still pick it up again.

  5. #5

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    My urges first started when I was 11. I was very interested in diapers up until I was 14 or show, but was deeply ashamed and embarrassed by it all. I all but completely lost any interest until I was 20 or so. It wasn't long after that that I grew to love and embrace this side of me. So... After a 6 year break, with a couple of small stints of interest in between, this is totally a part of my life. (Though doesn't negatively affect the rest of my life.) I'm not sure if you can take anything from this, but that is my experience.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheVisceral View Post
    I made a blog which some members may or may not have seen that talks about how I no longer have any desire to wear after I managed to...alter my mind strongly one night. Here's the blog for those who wish to read, and do take heed to the warnings:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/blogs/the...my-fetish.html

    Thing is that some members told me it's just a purge, but it just doesn't feel like a purge. With a purge you feel grossed out and all that but still have the essence of the desire to wear, like you know it's good for you all the time, or however you want to put it. But I don't even feel that. It's not voluntary, I'm not repressing it or anything. I just feel like it's GONE.

    I want to know if I'm just tricking myself, or if I really could have grown out of it. "Sexually matured," if you will.
    I wished the same as well.
    Spent waaaaaay to much time analyzing this and perhaps that was my biggest mistake, along with researching every topic on ABDL i could find.

    The decision lies with you, so keep the diapers around whilst hating it and simply abstain while you do some communication with your inner critic.

    As a lover of woman and being married, this fetish certainly doesn't help my ego but i have acquired so much empathy for others, i consider this an advantage.

    This whole practicing ABDL thing isn't even a year old for me, and it caused me sooooo much personal grief and suffering.

    I must say that i finally attained balance and for the first time since this whole debacle started and i feel my old self before indulging in this kink.

    Many debate if fetishes/kinks or paraphillias are related to OCD behavior and whilst i cannot confirm or deny this, it really helps to realize that you like this however irrational and accept it as it looses much of its power over time.

    You have such a huge advantage over the older ABDL's as this 'thing' we love is shared by others, and with the Internet being so full of support groups and with ADISC, we can teach everybody TOLERANCE to all humans for their differences.

    I don't think, i know you will eventually ponder on this aspect of your life and smile when thinking of the true benefits of this fetish and how being different will impact on your personal growth by knowing your true self and by understanding how by being different in a special way impacts on you.

    Its a sort of enlightenment, which results in the realization that we are all different, yet being human we are also all in the same boat of humankind.

    We are light years ahead of standard humankind's societal norms and we understand the impact of being different in world that does not tolerate indifference.

    I have faith that you will eventually love this fact about yourself.

    In the meantime fake being happy with yourself for a few days and watch how it rubs off on you when you try not to.

    ABDL or not its impact will not make your life any better or worse.

  7. #7

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    Going to clarify some terms here. To me, at least, it doesn't make sense to describe the purge cycle as just not wanting a diaper or even feeling like it's entirely gone. Chicken tastes good but some days I definitely want something else. I'm not purging on chicken. In my experience, the word purge fits best when I have had a visceral self-loathing toward my ABDL desires. It doesn't even necessarily indicate a reduction in those desires, just a rising gorge of revulsion at them.

    I obviously can't say what you're experiencing now but it sounds similar to what I once experienced. It was for a period of about three months and it was prior to my joining here. For background, my desires have been pretty consistent, although the intensity shifts over time. I'd say that on a scale of 0-10 where zero is no desire, I spend most of the time at 1-2, with weekly peaks probably around 5-6 and random spikes going higher. The 1-2 level has remained fairly consistent during my life, although I'd say the peaks were more frequent and generally of greater intensity. When the abovementioned period started, it felt almost like a switch had been thrown. I didn't want diapers but I didn't have any feelings about them one way or the other, except that it seemed a bit funny that I had spent so much energy worrying about them. After a couple weeks, I thought strongly about throwing things out just because it seemed dumb to take up the space but I decided that there would always be time to do that and in deference to my past behavior I'd hang onto things. When it finally came back, it was like it had never been away. No crashing wave of desire, it was just back.

    Maybe yours will come back, maybe it won't. I despised it as much at one time as you appear to now but I think it's just not worth getting worked up over at this point. I know from past experience that I could stop using them as long as it was important (I've gone years) but I don't expect the desire will ever be gone for good, although other "vacations" are possible. It's just another thing I like and while people change, it's rare for one's tastes to change so radically on something that occupies such a prominent position. If it's that important to you, I'll hope you're right. Just know that there will always be things about yourself that you don't like. Some you can change and some you can't. Coming to terms with those things are part of being happy and well-adjusted and I wish you luck with that overall.

  8. #8

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    I've gone long stints without my habits. I've gone through purges where I toss everything out and swear that I'll never do it again. I've had times in my life where I just don't have the desire, but I don't hate that part of myself. After a while, we all go through many stages.
    I think the thing to remember most is that yes, as ClaraRiddle said, we are fluid -- dynamic. Some people can stop a habit at the drop of the hat. Some can want to but not be able. Some will just realize one day that they haven't fed their habit in days, weeks or maybe even years.
    This is part of who we are, but as we grow (regardless of age) we become other things. Sometimes those other things overwhelm us so that we slough off a piece of our old selves and embrase a new part of our life. The old things can return; they can stay gone. No matter what, the important part is never punish yourself *with* your habits or * because* of your habits and seek out the things that you enjoy.
    Much love; Best wishes.

  9. #9

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    Thanks everyone for your input. At this point, the fetish arises at random points in time, so I may not have fully "grown out" of it, but I know it's been diminished to some extent.

    I recently had to get my laptop fixed, and during that time I would use the computer in another room, but now that it is fixed (got it back today), I'm back in my room. Coincidentally, that is when my fetish suddenly started making itself clearer. Maybe I'm associating the fetish with my room? I'm no expert in psychology, but I know the mind can associate certain feelings when exposed to stimuli from the past.

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