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Thread: The passing of a friend.

  1. #1

    Default The passing of a friend.

    On January 21st two of my friends were out for a drive, and they failed to yield at a stop sign. They were both critically injured, and had many odds stacked against them. One friend M had two broken legs, a broken arm, a bump to the head, and a spinal injury, he has undergone 3 surgeries, and still has his jaw wired shut.

    C had internal injuries, lung damage, liver damage, and kidney damage. He was given s 10% chance of living. My friends and I rode an emotional dollar coaster up and down all week. C passed away on January 28th, his liver had failed, so they turned off life support. He died 2 days after my birthday.

    It has now been a month since the accident, and almost a month since C died. It has been hard to help M deal with the loss, he was driving the car. If I have learned anything, it's to tell your friends you love them, and let people know you care. If I had not been with my other friend I would have been with M and C, so that has been hitting me too.

    I'm doing ok, the sadness just kinda comes and goes.

  2. #2


    I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine how awful this must be for their families. It can be so easy to forget just how fragile we all are and how quickly things can go from everything being fine to critical injury or death. It sounds like you're giving yourself the proper time for introspection after such a devastating event. It's going to hurt but it will also improve. Best to you and the suffering friends and family.

  3. #3


    I, Like Trevor, and I'm sure, everyone on this site, is sorry for your loss. It is true, that because of circumstances, everything we know as a stable part of our existence, can suddenly change, leaving us in a state of shock. I've lost loved ones, as have most people, and it's always the hardest thing to deal with. We get through it one day at a time, the pain diminishing a little with each day. I lost a friend this week. He had sung in my choir for 20 years, and had always been a good friend to me, one who was always there for me. Unfortunately, loss is the greatest single factor of life.

    If it helps, I really do believe we go on into the next state of being. I've heard so many strange tales of the dead visiting the living. There is a part of me that is anxious for the next life, where there is no suffering and sorrow. We mourn but a little time and then suffering and sorrow are past. It is part of our existence.

    Remember kindly your friend, and be a friend to the survivor. Some members on the site have asked, what is the meaning of our existence. It's simple. It's to know and love others, to be part of each other, in joy and sorrow. Somehow, we got here as beings who know our end, and because of that, we will know our continence. Bless you Powerhair.

  4. #4


    Sounds like you're doing the right thing and being there for your friend 'M'. He must be feeling an incredible amount of guilt, being the driver and having his friend die due to something so simple as failing to yield. Make sure he knows you know it was an accident and reaffirm that he shouldn't burden himself by carrying the death of a friend on his conscious. Likely, some people will blame him, but keep supporting him and show that nothing has changed between you two.

  5. #5


    I feel for you and your friends familys, I'm not shure what to say, it happens all too often. I'm 52 now, more than halfway through lifes journey and have more freinds & relatives planted than still around. I try to count my blessings that I'm still here but depression still rears it's ugly head at times.
    Carry on life still has adventures ahead.

  6. #6


    I,m sorry to hear that. I wish there were words that would help, but only time heals such wounds.

  7. #7


    Powderhair, I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I know how it is to lose a friend in an accident.

    I had something similar happen in 2005 albeit we didn't find out about it til early 2006 due to a delay in the news. I had a friend, Jim- who moved to Arizona in 2003 and in September 2005 he died on impact when a semi slammed into him and his wheelchair. Losing a friend is very hard and the best thing to do is try to keep the memory of the friend alive. I do that by putting Jim's picture underneath my Buffalo Bills pennant- Jim was a DIE-HARD Bills fan: Sure, I argued with Jim a lot on politics, but we also had good talks about football, hockey and life. Jim was a good dude who died in a very tragic way.

    The best way to remember your friend is to remember the good times as I choose to do rather than the bad times. It's through good times and bad times and how we choose to remember people, Powderhair. You have my sympathies and you will be in my thoughts.


  8. #8


    I cry when anyone dies, especially people that I knew well. I had my grandfather pass away not too long ago, and I'm still in shock, even if it was expected. They said he wouldn't live to be 82, but he lived to be 86. I never got to say goodbye before he died, and that crushed me.

    Your friend was probably the same way, out of the blue, dead, but somewhat expected. I just hope he was religious.

    The pain will lessen with time, don't worry. If anything, it should show you to live your life to the fullest, because one day, you will die, and it could be unexpected.

  9. #9


    I am so sorry for your loss, and while words may not assuage the pain as well as you'd like, I sincerely hope you will all pull through this for the better.

    I'm glad you were able to gain a newfound appreciation for letting people know that you care about them, and the fact that you are there for M is wonderful. C is gone, and it's terrible, but you must live on for those who are still living. Live life to its fullest and love like you've never loved before. And when your time comes, hopefully you'll have a smile on your face, knowing that you accomplished everything you wanted in this life.

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