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Thread: Quitting Diapers - A DL's journey into normaldom. Self-therapy. Update...

  1. #1

    Default Quitting Diapers - A DL's journey into normaldom. Self-therapy. Update...

    Hi guys.

    Some of you might remember me, several years back, as the guy who introduced the idea of post-climax regret, and the guy who wanted to quit diapers.

    I was 18/19 then and am 21 now.

    Have I quit diapers?

    KINDA.


    For the past 2 years I have still used diapers for masturbation purposes. However I introduced more and more normal porn; also I've had lots of sex. Like 10 girls. I think...

    Also I quit browsing the site to indulge my diaper fantasies. I have also consciously tried to associate sexual libido when I see girls. -.-

    Anyway; lately I've been on a long binge/purge cycle.

    With access, I haven't worn a diaper for 5 months now.

    However, I still get thoughts about diapers and I masturbate to diaper porn as well as guy on girl porn.

    * In alot of my dreams I'm always in a situation where I'm looking for diapers, or am just about to wear one when something happens. I guess this means my id is attempting to find diapers but my ego, super-ego is repressing my natural instinct. However I have seen 2-3 naked and pretty girls in my dreams which never happened before.


    It's strange because when I think about diapers I get an erection but I only get an erection from looking at heterosexual porn.

    No matter how hard I try, if I look at a sexy naked chick I can't get a boner.

    The reason why I want to quit diapers is because I only want sex with girls to be my kink. I always hated the fact that I had this fetish and for the past 4 years have been actively trying to delete it from my mind.

    It's admittedly hard work but I have definitely suppressed my urges to wear diapers and am having sex with normal girls... Either that or my binge/purge cycle is in months now.

    Perhaps it will elongate to year binge/purges...

    How long can I keep this up? Can I completely stop diapers?

    I will write back.

    * One method I used to help disassociate myself is to think bad stuff whenever I think about diapers. I think it's called negative association in psychology. Think A Clockwork Orange.

    Or I associate last minute with pretty naked chicks.
    Well I guess it has increased my attraction to pretty chicks in diapers but when I look at pictures with them I look at the diaper more so.

    Another method I use is when I get the urge to masturbate to girl/guy porn I just do it.

    Cheers,
    please don't flame me.

    ** It would be nice to find similar people who are trying to quit diapers.
    I know this might offend some of you guys but I never understood how you can just accept something so strange and kooky.

    This fetish isn't like a tickling, toe, or a boob fetish, which I could probably accept.
    It is too weird for me.

    I just want to be normal, in love with girls how heterosexual men should be.
    Am I in the wrong?

    ---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:02 ----------

    I think another important part of quitting is focusing on other areas of life; I've just been really busy lately.

    It's so weird that I used to go to this site so much in my late teens and I haven't logged in or thought of logged in until just now.

    AH yes. And another reason why I don't like my diaper fetish is because I think I got it by accident.

    When I was growing from 8-12, there was some misparenting and maybe I didn't feel 'babied' enough or treated like a child. That's when I looked to diapers to relive my 'youth'. But I think it was an accident. What if I hadn't seen the diapers? Surely I would've looked towards something else?

    As this was going on, I was supposed to be developing my sexual attraction and this is where I think the wiring went wrong and the brain messed up. Hence...

    Yeah I do remember the first time I came I was wearing a diaper for fun, and I was pretending to be a baby and was dry humping a pillow ( I was 10/11). I think I might've said "goo goo gaga" in my head.. And then the cum came out and I didn't know what it was.

    *sigh.

    I feel f***ed up sometimes. hahaha

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by andrew90 View Post
    I feel f***ed up sometimes. hahaha
    If that's fucked up, then we're all screwed, dude.

    Sounds an interesting journey and as you seem so reasoned and determined, I wish you well

    It's unusual, certainly, and personally, I don't hold out hopes of permanent success. This thing always comes back to us - be it in a memory, a tangible reminder or an urge or some kind - because it is hard-wired into us. I equate it to sexuality, for example.

    Be sure to let us know how it goes, and don't hesitate to look to us for more help or advice should the journey deviate from the pre-arranged route ;-)

  3. #3

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    I strongly question the notion that it is a good idea to try to shut out a major kink. The fact remains that it's part of your sexuality, and a part that you could practice safely, healthily, and without causing harm to others.

    There's nothing objectively wrong with liking diapers. The amount of effort and worry you're taking on to shut out this fetish is unlikely to be worth what gains you could possibly achieve, if there are any to be had, at all.

  4. #4

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    Well done Andrew.

    I really admire your discipline and the determination to get rid of this affliction.

    I have spent most of the day and a few months delving into this very subject and i received my enlightenment today from Kathi Stringer-An in depth look at infantilism.

    She denounces diapers/blankets teddies as a fetish due to the fact that the onset of this develops during the ages of 2,3,4,5 or before puberty which she calls transitional object.

    The understanding of this is that the object is usually soft and comforting(Diapers fit that description very aptly).

    As we develop our libido later on in life, the object can become sexualized.

    For the many that have this as weird as this is, this is our coping mechanism.

    I don't know about you but for me this is on a conscious level indeed sexual, however since my earliest recollection of this was at the age of 3, it is only natural that this coping mechanism would then become more pleasurable with sexual maturity, and it is incorporated accidentally so into our sexuality.

    I find this most interesting as on a conscious level i have no other regression interest besides wearing a diaper, however my subconscious being wants this and this realization means that diapers were never sexual before i hit puberty.

    As a conscious DL without AB tendencies, this means that my DLism represents true infantilism because removing the sexual aspect of this transitional object, i find the latter secondary compared with the comfort and anxiety reducing ability this weird perceived fetish provides.

    If i didn't have such a strict moral/culture based ego i would probably be more into the AB side but my personal pride prevents this.

    Its actually a crutch my subconscious has suggested as a way to completely cut the apron strings from fear/separation anxiety and to stand alone.

    This unlocks all of how i operate and changes how i view my DL ism.

    Am i absolutely happy to have this?

    Not a damn and my super-ego has mentally beaten me into terrible despair, throwing me into terrible depression and seeing a flare up of pure OCD.

    I had other fetishes but these are the normal vanilla ones and i have managed to rid myself of these with relative ease as these developed after puberty so it was not powerfully ingrained into my subconscious self.

    Diapers will not a damn budge, so Kathi's explanation is actually a very convincing truth.

    Its only now that the healing can begin as i realize that this might as well be a vital organ or finger because this very realization means its pointless to fight what you like.

    You can only accept this and be an exceptional person.

    Andrew don't be discouraged, this can be eliminated but the only cost in all of this is ultimately your happiness.

    You have final say over your actions and i hope you receive enlightenment so that your decision can be final.

    I salute you.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luckyfish View Post
    Well done Andrew.

    I really admire your discipline and the determination to get rid of this affliction.

    I have spent most of the day and a few months delving into this very subject and i received my enlightenment today from Kathi Stringer-An in depth look at infantilism.

    She denounces diapers/blankets teddies as a fetish due to the fact that the onset of this develops during the ages of 2,3,4,5 or before puberty which she calls transitional object.

    The understanding of this is that the object is usually soft and comforting(Diapers fit that description very aptly).

    As we develop our libido later on in life, the object can become sexualized.

    For the many that have this as weird as this is, this is our coping mechanism.

    I don't know about you but for me this is on a conscious level indeed sexual, however since my earliest recollection of this was at the age of 3, it is only natural that this coping mechanism would then become more pleasurable with sexual maturity, and it is incorporated accidentally so into our sexuality.

    I find this most interesting as on a conscious level i have no other regression interest besides wearing a diaper, however my subconscious being wants this and this realization means that diapers were never sexual before i hit puberty.

    As a conscious DL without AB tendencies, this means that my DLism represents true infantilism because removing the sexual aspect of this transitional object, i find the latter secondary compared with the comfort and anxiety reducing ability this weird perceived fetish provides.

    If i didn't have such a strict moral/culture based ego i would probably be more into the AB side but my personal pride prevents this.

    Its actually a crutch my subconscious has suggested as a way to completely cut the apron strings from fear/separation anxiety and to stand alone.

    This unlocks all of how i operate and changes how i view my DL ism.

    Am i absolutely happy to have this?

    Not a damn and my super-ego has mentally beaten me into terrible despair, throwing me into terrible depression and seeing a flare up of pure OCD.

    I had other fetishes but these are the normal vanilla ones and i have managed to rid myself of these with relative ease as these developed after puberty so it was not powerfully ingrained into my subconscious self.

    Diapers will not a damn budge, so Kathi's explanation is actually a very convincing truth.

    Its only now that the healing can begin as i realize that this might as well be a vital organ or finger because this very realization means its pointless to fight what you like.

    You can only accept this and be an exceptional person.

    Andrew don't be discouraged, this can be eliminated but the only cost in all of this is ultimately your happiness.

    You have final say over your actions and i hope you receive enlightenment so that your decision can be final.

    I salute you.
    This smacks of discredited Freudian claims about how sexuality works. A fetish is simply part of one's sexuality - there's no known deeper meaning into why, and by extension, no known deeper reason why it would be harmful.



    I would point people in the direction of our article on self-acceptance.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by NutFreeFruitcake View Post
    I strongly question the notion that it is a good idea to try to shut out a major kink. The fact remains that it's part of your sexuality, and a part that you could practice safely, healthily, and without causing harm to others.

    There's nothing objectively wrong with liking diapers. The amount of effort and worry you're taking on to shut out this fetish is unlikely to be worth what gains you could possibly achieve, if there are any to be had, at all.
    I agree with NutfreeFruitcake. The pro's weigh far less then the cons and you clearly haven't kicked the fetish or desire for diapers at all. However if you wish to go on with trying to distance yourself from diapers then you can keep trying it and I wish you luck if that's what you chose.

    However I think your trying to eliminate something that's been a part of you for a *long* time and your trying to find girl's attrative enough to get a eriection. You can't force that to happen, it's a natural part of many guy's to see girls that way. However I clearly don't see girls that way, at best I just like to talk to them and develope a platonic relationship. But when I get a boner just from looks of a girl or guy alone the sun will be rising in the west and setting in the east.


    Also, for the record I never met a normal person yet since their aren't any. Plus it's not nearly as horrible as people with a eyeglass fetish. Not that I find that horribly strange, but a LOT of people wear eyeglasses.


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by NutFreeFruitcake View Post
    This smacks of discredited Freudian claims about how sexuality works. A fetish is simply part of one's sexuality - there's no known deeper meaning into why, and by extension, no known deeper reason why it would be harmful.



    I would point people in the direction of our article on self-acceptance.
    The article on Adisc on self acceptance is a truly wonderfully written piece of literature.

    Kathi's take on object transition, is meant to for those to delve into the why this happens if you wish to dig for a deeper understanding.

    It clearly divides a fetish from a deeper symbolic origin that occurred before the onset of puberty, hence eliminating the object of diapers/nappies from being merely sexual to the conscious mind.

    This is not meant to be taken as fact, however as a theory and by my very own personality deconstruction this theory holds alot of credibility to me.

    Its not the same as Freud's incredibly dare i say rambunctious theories on sexuality, because the symbolic meaning of the object is security, comfort and becoming independent without a perverse reference to sexuality with ones own mother subconsciously or any phallic innuendo.

    Everybody has a right to ones own opinion and to seek out ones own personal truth.

    If i in anyway suggested kathi's theory as factual i sincerely apologize.

    For me, acceptance can only begin with ones own understanding of the subconscious mind and with such understanding comes a higher personal power to decide whats right for the individual, due to it being understood from the sub/conscious mind.

    Andrew has way more discipline and willpower then myself and im really glad he posted this thread as it allows us to measure the incredible power this 'fetish' holds.

  8. #8
    EmeraldsAndLime

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    Quote Originally Posted by andrew90 View Post
    I always hated the fact that I had this fetish and for the past 4 years have been actively trying to delete it from my mind.
    I feel the only thing more damaging than having the fetish is making it a huge issue, unresolvable issue in your life. You could call it undue stress, but understand that it is a part of who you are. You can't explain how you developed it, so it follows that you can't reason it away.

    Likewise, you can't artificially create a fetish for yourself, even if that's something as standard as 'sex with a girl'. The idea of a heteronormative society has a very short and often a very oppressive history. It wasn't even until the late 1800s that the words heterosexual and homosexual existed, thus cementing the foundation for an uncompromising black'n'white society. Before that, the concept of a sexually-normative society didn't really exist. People only knew the concepts of love and pleasure, backed by a system of cultural norms that dictated what sexual activities were expected and what were taboo, rather than a definitive 'you have to be this way and this way only'.

    The point I'm trying to make is that at present society is trying to shift back into this paradigm, but we're not quite there. You shouldn't kick yourself over something because it's not 'normal', rather you should embrace it because it makes you different. That's the only way we'll progress into a more tolerant and diverse society. So what if you "can't get a boner over a naked chick"; it may just be that that's not who you are.

    People often say that they could die and have no regrets -- that's bullshit. Most, if not all people grow up feeling like they've had to deny a part of who they are to please others around them. If you want a truly enjoyable life, stop resisting the things you find pleasurable and really accept yourself.

  9. #9

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    I Quit for 3 years but felt dead in side.it was always in my mind .Get some one who can hipnotize you to help.

  10. #10

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    Bah humbug.

    I honestly thought an answer was necessary to this equation.

    I finally found my answer, found my reasoning behind it and felt great again, until once again i realize and im sure most of you have too, that it doesn't really matter why or how only the now.

    The only motive or certainty for this is that we enjoy it.

    Months of research and one brief moment of clarity spiraled back into the unknown and right back to the very beginning of my journey(Note the circle which symbolize no end or beginning).

    The last thing i want is a splitting of opinions and thereby segregate AB and DL and its deeper meaning into groups.

    We need to stick together as very special and talented minority and this what i love about Adisc.

    I really respect everybody who dares to be different because as the father from the movie step brothers once said.

    'I really thought i would get back to being a tyrannosaurus but i lost it'.

    Don't lose your tyrannosaurus.

    We are what we are unapologetically, whether it be fetish/lifestyle/object transition or kink.

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