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Thread: Should I? I'm really wondering.

  1. #1

    Default Should I? I'm really wondering.

    Soo... been talking with my mom, now that I'm moved out.

    Today I thought I might test her, see if she ever really suspected anything.

    It looks like she hasn't, really. She's always trusted I had a strong moral character, and she's proud of me and all that. This led me to say I wasn't perfect, and she said nobody's perfect and I have high standards for myself.

    To which I said that even in my little quirks I'm hard on myself.

    "What quirks?" she asked.

    ... I really don't know what to say to that. Wondering if I should just come out with it.

    [EDIT] The talk went nowhere, Kinda wussed out when I never got a huge opportunity to mention my activities. Still, I find myself wondering whether it'd be worth it to be honest with her about it.

  2. #2
    literallegionaire

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    hey i no normally people would disaprove of telling anyone but if you personaly think that you can trust your mom with anything than go for it. I mean whats the worst thing that could happen? your 19 even if she dissaproves thats about all that it can be.

  3. #3

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    Man once I'm out of the house I'll be like, "YES! No more reasons to keep all these in my brain", at which time I will reach in my ear and empty my "what if my stuff gets found" excuses into a little knapsack that I'll put in a drawer for when someone asks me where the diamonds are. I guess that "because I was wetting the bed", as a last resort, doesn't make much sense when someone asks where the diamonds are, but I am good at picking and choosing in those situations.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lutheranchild View Post
    Wondering if I should just come out with it.
    If I may ask. Why do you want to do that ?

  5. #5

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    Hey buddy,

    I think it's very tempting to tell ones parents about that thing, espacially when you have a good relationship with them. Although my parents wouldn't call me very communicative, I have no secrets from them except my ABDL side. I don't live at home anywmore for quite some time now and still share all the important things with them, except that. And I know, somehow it doesn't feel right. But there is absolutley nothing to gain from telling them, neither for me nor for them. And therefore I would never do that, because I don't know if and how they could handle that their son is somehow "strange". So why should I strain the relationship with my parents for no reason.
    Of course it's your decision, but in my opinion: No, don't do it.

    Cheers.

  6. #6

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    Honestly, you have to figure out if you have a REASON for doing this. While this forum, and others, are inundated with "success stories" of people coming out (hell, I even wrote a story about my successful coming out to my fiancee), the reality is that you need a REASON to do this. What are you expecting out of this? Is it just to "get it off your chest"? If so, I implore you to wait until you have someone worth waiting for. In my experience, and in the experience of hundreds of others, the spontaneous revealing of our interests to others can only end in disappointment. Waiting for the right person, however, makes the experience life-changing.

  7. #7

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    I told my mother and it turns out she had never suspected - things seem to make more sense to her in retrospect now that she knows, but nothing at the time stood out to her.

    I fully agree with the others though - make sure you have a good reason for telling. Life doesn't have an undo button sadly.

  8. #8

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    I think the advice pretty much speaks for itself.

    Right now the only reason I have to tell her is to be more honest with her, but that's all I have to gain from it at the moment. Our relationship is, for the most part, very healthy and unstrained now that I'm living independently. For now I think I might not have a strong enough reason to tell her. It was a thought, though.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lutheranchild View Post
    Soo... been talking with my mom, now that I'm moved out.

    Today I thought I might test her, see if she ever really suspected anything.

    It looks like she hasn't, really. She's always trusted I had a strong moral character, and she's proud of me and all that. This led me to say I wasn't perfect, and she said nobody's perfect and I have high standards for myself.

    To which I said that even in my little quirks I'm hard on myself.

    "What quirks?" she asked.

    ... I really don't know what to say to that. Wondering if I should just come out with it.

    [EDIT] The talk went nowhere, Kinda wussed out when I never got a huge opportunity to mention my activities. Still, I find myself wondering whether it'd be worth it to be honest with her about it.
    I finally told my mom after considering it and chickening out for a long time. It went great for me, and it sounds like your mom would take it fairly well. If she's willing to ask "what quirks?", that probably means she's open to hearing about whatever they are.

    My recommendation: Just tell her. Life will be a little simpler that way.

    It's like buying diapers at the store for the first time, it's not anywhere near as bad as you thought it was going to be, and once it's over with you're glad you did. ^_^

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Descolada View Post
    It's like buying diapers at the store for the first time, it's not anywhere near as bad as you thought it was going to be, and once it's over with you're glad you did. ^_^
    Hahahahahahahha. No.

    Desco, I'm super glad telling your mother went so well for you...but for other people it can be more than 'just as bad' as you think, it can be worse. Like I've said before, my mum showed an interest in my little behaviour, giggled when she found bottles, seemed to be hinting she wanted to know this secret...I was sure she basically already knew and was just waiting for me to tell her...and one night, I laid on the bed next to her, tearful and told her.

    What followed was a year of counselling appointments, horrible arguments, my parents sobbing and calling me disgusting and wrong, comparing me to a serial killer...

    So yeah. One more vote for 'Don't tell'...I think it's kinda irresponsible to recommend that other people do, TBH. How on earth will life be simpler if she finds him disgusting from then on?

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