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Thread: Dad found my diapers :(

  1. #1

    Default Dad found my diapers :(

    My Dad was looking through my closet while I was at work a few days ago, we got in a fight and he thinks I'm using drugs again (I've been clean for a few weeks, but try telling that to family that worries about you). When I got home I realized that alot of stuff in my closet had been moved around, eventually my Dad came in and asked why I had diapers in my closet. I just sortof stood there for a few seconds, probably incredibly red in the face and said it was part of a joke. He must have realized how uncomfortable I was, because he didn't ask anymore questions, or what I meant by a "joke", he just sighed and left without saying anything, and hasn't brought it up since. Oh, and they were teddy Bambinos. It's just really fucking with my head that he saw them, I'm worried what he thinks of me now, or if he thinks I'm some sort of crazy fetish sex-fiend...It doesn't help that I already have so many other "issues" in his mind (being gay, using drugs, alcoholism, criminal charges, dropping out of college), I'm worried that eventually he's gonna think I'm crazy. I've already tried to move in with a friend of mine a few months ago, but my Dad didn't think I was capable of taking care of myself, and said he'd rather have me at home, and even told me he wouldn't make me pay him rent. This diaper situation just probably makes him think even worse about me... If I was a normal person and I heard about someone else having a son like me I would wonder how they could still want to deal with someone like that, but I like to think that my Dad loves me enough he can overlook how much of a fuck-up I am in so many regards. Ugg. I'm really depressed about this, so just any kind words any of you guys can say would be appreciated.

  2. #2

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    Aww! Been there. Sorry to hear about your troubles. There are a number of issues, I think the least of which is what your dad thinks about your diapers. I'd recommend looking into NA, AA, and other twelve step groups. Diapers won't kill you, drugs (including alcohol) will. Take it one day at a time, and make progress, not perfection.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbravo2 View Post
    Aww! Been there. Sorry to hear about your troubles. There are a number of issues, I think the least of which is what your dad thinks about your diapers. I'd recommend looking into NA, AA, and other twelve step groups. Diapers won't kill you, drugs (including alcohol) will. Take it one day at a time, and make progress, not perfection.
    Tried it, but I just don't like the idea of having to rely on other people in order to stay sober the rest of my life, I'd rather do it all myself. Some people in those meetings have been going for 20-30 years, I just really don't want that.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SubstanceD View Post
    Tried it, but I just don't like the idea of having to rely on other people in order to stay sober the rest of my life, I'd rather do it all myself. Some people in those meetings have been going for 20-30 years, I just really don't want that.
    I kept trying to do it myself, until I was beat up to the point that I admitted defeat, and found a higher power. It's a spiritual program about finding your own conception of God/Allah/Buddha/Cosmic Consciousness, that helps you stay sober. The groups are just a way of sharing that, and having fun. Try finding a young person's AA group, and don't just go to one group. Find one with people that are gay, and happy! I'm 26 and have been clean & sober for 2.5 years now, I don't regret asking for help.

  5. #5

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    I've been were you are now. You may know my story as I've told it many times, but I'll reiterate and try to be brief. I came home from college one weekend while my parents were having company. During dinner I started crying and couldn't stop. At school, I was heavy into drugs, alcohol and my boyfriend. My mom searched my room when I went back to school, thinking she would find drugs and instead found my diaper stash and gay porn. When I came home the next weekend, she confronted me. Like you, I felt like this big freak, gay, drugged out and wearing diapers. She sent me to a psychiatrist at a residential center. I also was suicidal, and he gave me a card with his personal phone number.

    I relate this to you because I did survive. Like your dad, my mom loved me a great deal. Both of my parents did. My mom was familiar with infantalists, oddly enough. We're not that rare, and no one is perfect. It took me a while to kick the alcohol, as I used it to bury some very serious demons. I did get married and made a life for myself which has been successful.

    As a parent I can tell you that nothing are kids do will make us love them any less. I love my kids unconditionally. There are no exceptions or conditions. Love is a powerful force that can't be understood or rationalized. For that reason, if your kid enjoys wetting the bed or smoking pot, drinking to oblivion or steals, we still love them. We may not always understand them, but remember, we scarcely understand ourselves. There is little rhyme or reason to the human condition, what drives us, or the strange ideas and emotions which invade our minds, but love is the one constant that overrides all the others.

    It took me a while to be able to look my mom in the face and not feel guilty and ashamed, but it eventually came. The reason why is because she always loved me. That made the difference.

  6. #6

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    And I thought I had it bad, for advice though I would say stay positive and just maybe talk with your dad. i have sorta strict parents and I told them about my DL and I regret that I even did. Just because I thought it would makes things better but it didn't help one bit.

  7. #7

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    The best way to kick a habit that is d'Ítre mental to your health is to replace it. For example when you feel the need to drink grab a pice of gum. Start with replacing one drink a day with some gum. When you are dependent on gum stop one pice at a time. This is just an example, there are many things that you can use.

    Currently I'm trying to replace my technology addiction with diapers and the like, slowly.

  8. #8

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    when I was sixteen, my mom went searching through my room one day looking for drugs. because I had a legit stash spot for those, all she found was my diaper stash. she picked me up from my high school mid-term (we had half-days for those) and confronted me about it. I just told her it was something me and my girl used to be in to but weren't anymore. hearing about her son's sex life got her to back off hard. she didn't go looking through my room anymore after that day.

    edit: off-topic but Rlew^, detrimental is indeed an english word :P. I'll cut you some slack because you're from Canada though .

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by SubstanceD View Post
    Tried it, but I just don't like the idea of having to rely on other people in order to stay sober the rest of my life, I'd rather do it all myself. Some people in those meetings have been going for 20-30 years, I just really don't want that.
    You are doing it yourself, you're just getting guidance is all. Only you can stop. (unless it's taken to extremes)

  10. #10

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    There are times that you need to put on your normal face and pretend you're like everyone else for a while. This is one of those times. Given your other (hopefully past....) issues, you're going to have very little privacy and frequent intrusive inspections, some in the open, some surreptitious. Think of it as boot camp.

    Once you've got your shit together and live on your own again, you can indulge in the diapers if you want.

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