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Thread: Unaccepting girlfriend

  1. #1

    Default Unaccepting girlfriend

    I know this has been done to death but wanted to hear from those with an unaccepting girlfriend/wife.

    When I say unaccepting I don't totally. I told her not all that long after we started dating. She thought it was a little weird but said it takes all sorts. She said do what you like but just not around me and I don't want to be involved.

    It's not really an issue at the moment as we are still both living at home. I just wear at home or when I'm at work. I do wonder what I would do if we got our own place. Probably just wear when at work or she is not in.

    I'd imagine it would be awkward if she found my stash or if she walked in on me unexpected.

    Anyone else been in the same situation? How did you handle it? Did you come to any understanding or arrangement?

  2. #2

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    I hate to say it, but at least for me personally I would never ever be with someone who didn't accept it fully. That isn't to say they must be involved with every aspect, but they certainly could not tell me "Don't do it around me.".

    In my opinion a person to date is someone who loves and cares for you no matter what, if they refuse to let you do something that makes you you I don't consider it a relationship in my books.

    I'm not trying to say you should dump her for it, but I think you really need to sit down and discuss it with her more (if she doesn't quite understand). You also need to let her know that it is doubtful (impossible imo) for you to change, and that it's hard on you that she seems unaccepting of it.

    You should also think very carefully about moving in with her, will you really be happy being so restricted with the wearing?

    Anyways; I wish you good luck.

  3. #3

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    Thanks. I think I may have felt differently if she had said don't do it at all.

    It's something I'm into and if she's not comfortable with me wearing around her then it's something I don't mind sacrificing. A compromise if you will.

  4. #4

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    I am in the exact situation hailstorm, and I'm about to move in. That means moving in my bags and bags of diapers. I hope she will be comfortable with it. However, she also told me not to wear around her. I understand it makes her uncomfortable and I respect that. Therefore I will only wear when she's not around. Hopefully in the future she will let me wear maybe under clothes or something, but I think for your girlfriend to see their man wearing a baby diaper, it kind of puts them out of the mood. It doesn't help that my gf is an ortho nurse and changes dirty diapers every day, so the last thing she wants to see when she gets home is another dirty diaper :P.

  5. #5

    Default

    like lobie said if she truly loves you she wouldn't have said: do what you want but not around me
    also like lobie said talk to her about it

  6. #6

    Default

    Yeah on the flip side I wouldn't say loving someone means that you have to say yes to everything. I wouldn't say being honest is being unloving. I'd rather she say no than say yes and feign an interest or be cringing underneath.



    Quote Originally Posted by maniac78 View Post
    I am in the exact situation hailstorm, and I'm about to move in. That means moving in my bags and bags of diapers. I hope she will be comfortable with it. However, she also told me not to wear around her. I understand it makes her uncomfortable and I respect that. Therefore I will only wear when she's not around. Hopefully in the future she will let me wear maybe under clothes or something, but I think for your girlfriend to see their man wearing a baby diaper, it kind of puts them out of the mood. It doesn't help that my gf is an ortho nurse and changes dirty diapers every day, so the last thing she wants to see when she gets home is another dirty diaper :P.
    Thanks for sharing that. It would be great to hear how things work out for you.
    Last edited by Near; 22-Oct-2011 at 19:19. Reason: Merged

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by hailstorm View Post
    Yeah on the flip side I wouldn't say loving someone means that you have to say yes to everything. I wouldn't say being honest is being unloving. I'd rather she say no than say yes and feign an interest or be cringing underneath.
    also true but .... wait i can't think of a but(and that rarely happens)

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by hailstorm View Post
    Yeah on the flip side I wouldn't say loving someone means that you have to say yes to everything. I wouldn't say being honest is being unloving. I'd rather she say no than say yes and feign an interest or be cringing underneath.
    Well said, hailstorm. I value her honesty over her feigned interest which could eat away at her slowly.

  9. #9

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    Well I'm a girlfriend of an AB. I just wanted to add that it's sometimes hard to accept things like this. Doesn't mean that if she right now says she doesn't want you to wear them around her it will always be like that. In the beginning I told my boyfriend too that if he wanted to try them (he didn't wear them then) he could, but not with me around it and that I didn't want to have to do something with it.
    Now we tried them during a playdate and I'm comfortable with him wearing them during a playdate. I'm not yet comfortable with him wearing them outside a playdate... But who knows if that may change sometime.
    What I want to say is that it can be hard for people to accept things like this... The fact she lets you wear them on your own is already a big thing, please don't forget that. Things might change, but don't push her. pushing her won't make anything better, believe me
    About living together... Can't help you with that, sorry. Not living together yet. Just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't forget it's already a big thing if she lets you wear them without her. And please never think that she doesn't love you because she isn't accepting you wearing it around her - she does accept you since she's letting you do it by yourself. But in every relationships there are things that you do alone since the other isn't really into it, right? Good luck
    Last edited by SmashingHeadphones; 22-Oct-2011 at 19:14.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by SmashingHeadphones View Post
    But in every relationships there are things that you do alone since the other isn't really into it, right? Good luck
    Now that is some sound advice right there! This doesn't apply just to diapers/fetishes either. It is probably one of the most single important things that couples need to learn and realize. People have different interests and couples eventually figure out the happy middle ground in many cases. With perseverance I'm sure you two will be able to find the middle ground as well that is satisfactory to both parties.

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