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Thread: Not so bad

  1. #1

    Default Not so bad

    So, I was on here about 5 months ago telling everyone "my issue". I have been dating my fiancee for almost 6 years now. He is an AB. I was totally against it. A lot of you said very kind things to me and helped me understand what he was going through. I was still very hesitant though. He got to the point where he didn't seem happy. It killed me to see that. Diapers seemed to be the topic of most of his conversations. I was tired of hearing about it. I ended up giving in and letting him get them. Even though it wasn't through the best experience that I started being ok with it, I have to say that it's not as bad as I thought it was. He doesn't wear them around me as he knows that I am still a bit uncomfortable with it but now he feels freedom to do that when he is alone. I don't know. Maybe I will get the courage to where he can wear them around me. All I know is, it feels like when we first started going out. It seems that a weight has lifted.

  2. #2

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    Congratulations!

    It seems as though things are going quite well for you two, kudos for you trying to be open minded about this. We all know that this fetish is strange, and that some people will never understand it , but it's nice to hear about somebody who is trying to open up to it.

    -Ron

  3. #3

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    Yeah, I wish I could understand it more. Doesn't help that my fiancee has never been good at explaining things :P lol.

  4. #4

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    It also doesn't help that no individual is the same on this topic, and there's a very wide range of opinions and personal reasons for doing what we do. From what i've seen places such as this can show you the full range, but be careful because what's true for one of us isn't necessarily true for all of us.

  5. #5

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    I'm ABDL (obviously) and even I will happily admit that the lifestyle/fetish is weird to an outsider. I think it's great that you're making an effort to be accepting and understanding for him. I hope that appreciates that and listens to your concerns - a relationship consists of more than one person so he needs to make sure you're happy too

    If you have any questions or anything feel free to post on adisc - everyone is welcome (even non-ABDL) and the people here will do everything they can the help

  6. #6

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    Hun, I do appreciate it. In the past when you would "give in" you seemed to do it out of anger so I never did. This time was different. I'm glad all the stress about me wanting to wear is over. It lets me concentrate on being happy with you now.

    Btw, I am the fiancee before anyone gets creeped out. XD


    PS. I also want to thank everyone who has tried being of help to my fiancee. When I came on and asked for help helping her, I did not always get the best responses.

  7. #7

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    I have to personally congratulate you for being so brave ^_^

    I know it cannot be easy. My wife has had to deal with much the same issues. I am not only AB, but a BF. For many years, I kept most of my tendencies hidden away. However, three years into our marriage, I decided to be completely up-front and frank. We were talking about starting a family and before that happens, I wanted to let her know what I truly felt inside.

    Trying to grasp the whole concept has been, understandably, a challenge for her. She grew up in a very traditional household and never heard of anything called 'infantilism'. So, from the first time I mentioned my AB tendencies eight or so years ago, it has all been very new.

    Each time I revealed something new, it took some adjusting, but to her credit, she has really come to accept it. I wear around her when I want, although always under clothes (as is my preference). She thinks I look quite cute in my fox pajamas; in fact, she seems to like my furry side more than my AB side. She has even role-played with me a couple times.

    There are still things for us to work on, but matters have become much less stressed in regards to that side of me. Now that I can be open about who I am and 'cub' any time I want, a stress in my life has vanished and, in turn, I am able to be a better husband. Likewise, she feels more loved and cared for since I can now focus more on our marriage as opposed to stressing and such.

    My wife says much the same thing: "Not as bad as I thought." In a way, she has come to find that side of me cute. We are now stronger than we were a year ago.

    So, best of luck to you! You have taken a very important step!

  8. #8

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    onecho, other than the furry part and the already married part, if i didnt know better i would have thought i wrote that..... although this has just happened for us. thanks for the support

  9. #9

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    JDC4ever, nice people like you who are willing to understand give Ab/Dls like us hope to find a good spouse. Just wanted to say that your a great person to give it some thought, I think like cgh said, as an outsider we are a pretty weird bunch, I bet most ab/dls could admit it, but it just takes some understanding to see that it isn't that weird. Most of us Ab/dl's just have it naturally wired in our brains i think, and it helps to see that some people out there that are not Ab/Dl can be ok with that.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Just wanted to say that your a great person to give it some thought, I think like cgh said, as an outsider we are a pretty weird bunch, I bet most ab/dls could admit it, but it just takes some understanding to see that it isn't that weird. Most of us Ab/dl's just have it naturally wired in our brains i think, and it helps to see that some people out there that are not Ab/Dl can be ok with that.
    Very well said. It takes both sides to look at it and say, "You know...it's not a very common attribute, but it isn't harmful either. It's who I am and if I can have the freedom to be that person, I will feel a whole lot better. Then, in turn, I can be a better partner in our relationship." This is basically how I approached it with my wife and it has brought about some real growth for both of us.

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