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Thread: Am I being a jerk???

  1. #1

    Default Am I being a jerk???

    So, little back-story, all of a sudden, one of my wife's high-school friends, (keep in mind she is almost 30), passed away in her sleep due to esophageal cancer or something. I have never even heard of this person until she passed away. Now my wife wants me to go to the body viewing. I told her no way, I dont feel right going to a viewing of someone I dont know... Now she's pissed at me, calling me an asshole and such... I don't know what to think anymore... She doesn't talk to people for years, then when something bad happens, she's the first one to say or do something, I dunno, maybe I am being an ass, but I'm thinking my wife is just a drama queen... Am I being a dick, give me your most honest answers...

  2. #2

    Default

    I had a female roommate who acted the same way. She was always looking for reasons to get her panties into a wad (so to speak). Anyways, she would talk about how all these friends of hers had recently died or something, but the strange thing was I, like you, had never heard of the person until they died. HAHA so I don't think you're being an ass. Your wife will get over it sooner or later, or she will find something new to get her panties in a wad over.

  3. #3

    Default

    I can see your reason for you not wanting to go. I don't think you are being a ass jerk, or what ever.
    Its someone you never met or heard of like you said.
    Maybe she just wants you to be there for her, For comfort or support.

  4. #4

    Default

    Umm well I can see where you're coming from with not wanting to go, but if this was one of her friends, she's probably feeling pretty down, and most likely she doesn't want you to go to the body viewing just because she wants you to, she wants you there for emotional support, and you should go to help her through this.


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  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Chanch0 View Post
    Umm well I can see where you're coming from with not wanting to go, but if this was one of her friends, she's probably feeling pretty down, and most likely she doesn't want you to go to the body viewing just because she wants you to, she wants you there for emotional support, and you should go to help her through this.
    I'd pretty much agree with this. It's one of those things you sign on for when you care about another person. She could just as easily have told you that you could sit this one out but since she is asking you to go along, it's not about you knowing the person but about you providing support for your wife. I'm sure it won't be too much fun but it's just one of those things.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanch0 View Post
    Umm well I can see where you're coming from with not wanting to go, but if this was one of her friends, she's probably feeling pretty down, and most likely she doesn't want you to go to the body viewing just because she wants you to, she wants you there for emotional support, and you should go to help her through this.


    ---
    - Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
    Leave it to one of our youngest members to understand perfectly. Your wife wants, and probably needs your support. As husbands, we do a lot of things to please our wives. For me it's watching the horrible chick flicks she rents from Netflicks. I hate them, but she likes them. I hate going with her when she needs to buy underwear. Why in the world would a woman take an hour just to buy panties, but they do.

    I honestly think you should apologize and go. You will gain a lot of good will from doing this. I've always considered my wife and myself as a team. If it's important to her then I'm on board.

  7. #7
    Cherub

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Leave it to one of our youngest members to understand perfectly.
    yea, sometimes they can impress eh? When I read this I thought the same thing.



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I honestly think you should apologize and go. You will gain a lot of good will from doing this. I've always considered my wife and myself as a team. If it's important to her then I'm on board.
    This is how my wife and I have been since being married (a whole whopping 2 years so far. But in that time, she's made some requests that I really didn't want to do,,,but, she is my wife and I do love her and want to show my support. Likewise, there have been times I wanted her to do something that I know she didn't want to do,, and ya know what,,,she did it. All this adds together and in the long run, it brings the two of you closer together in ways that become difficult to even explain.

  8. #8

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    ok, I graduated HS 15 years ago. When a classmate who i never have seen since high school passed, I went to the viewing. Maybe your wife was good friends with her and they lost touch. I had many good friends in high school that I lost touch with, but would care to know if they passed or not. I would say go to the viewing and not the funeral - for your wife

  9. #9

    Default

    Nick, you asked for honesty, so I'll be honest. You are being a bit of a jerk. If your wife wants you to go with her, that's all that should matter. You should be there to comfort her. As the others have said, you are there to support your wife, not necessarily to mourn the death of someone you never knew. You mentioned that your wife is almost 30 years of age. Perhaps she is starting to give more thought to her own mortality, and your's as well. From the late teens, through the late twenties, most people do not reflect on the eventuality of dying. When people are young, most have a feeling of invincibility. The promise of a long and happy future pervades their thoughts, they are too busy living life to worry about the end of life. There is nothing wrong with this, almost everyone has the expectation of having a long and happy life. This is why most people have such a feeling of tragic loss and sadness when a young person dies. The death of your wife's highschool friend may have clouded her feelings of security. She may be worried that, if her friend can die before 30, she may not have as many years left as she thought. You should give her as much support as you can. The visitation will only cost you a few hours of your time, I think you should go with your wife.

  10. #10

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    I see both sides.

    Shes your wife and you should support her emotionally, but at the same time...I Wouldnt want to go see the viewing of someone i didnt even know either, and that would put you in an uncomfortable situation

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