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Thread: spanking and age play

  1. #1

    Default spanking and age play

    I have noticed in one or two of the role play introductions that people put down they won't accept discipline from caregivers or won't accept a spanking. I just wondered what other people thought about the issue and more to the point how do they feel about it in terms of age play and regression?

    As a 2 year old I know I can drive my mummy to distraction and even to the point of anger (which should never be the excuse for giving a child a spank imho).

    But let's set up a scenario.

    I've been busy playing all morning, building things, knocking things down, getting in mummies way, wetting, being changed etc. I've also had thumb and fingers in mouth and mummy also puts a bib on me as I drool. Mummies been hoovering the floor, and I watch her as she moves the plug for the hoover from 1 socket to another.

    Being the helpful and inquisitive baby that I am, I crawl over to the plug and try to take it out. Mummy sees me and says in a very stern voice NO. So I stop, mummy carries on, so I have a little think and do it again, this time I get avery stern and louder NO, so I look down pick up a block and pretend I have no idea what she is talking about. Again she carries on and yes, you guessed it I do it a third time. this time, mummy stops the hoover, comes over to me, Takes my hand and "baby I said NO"and slaps the back of my hand with the palm of hers, Picks me up gives me a cuddle and places me in the centre of the room amongst my toys. Whilst I'm not happy about the slap I just got, mummy did cuddle me, so it must be ok. So when mummy isn't watching I crawl over to the plug and try to take out 1 last time. mummy sees me, comes over, picks me up , walks to a seat sits down puts me over her lap and repeats " baby I said NO" and proceeds to spank me 2 or 3 times over a well padded bottom.

    The question is, given this sort of scenario, whether a baby or a toddler, is spanking justifed? If yes, how much, how long? If no, how do you stop your baby electrocuting themselves, chewing on your sharpest knife etc.
    Would spanking on bare legs or a bare bottom be justified? yes or no and give reasons for your answer please
    Can spanking ever be justified
    And the big one, if we admit we need to discipline our babies, when does discipline go too far.

  2. #2


    I don't consider that 'spanking', though, apart from perhaps that last scenario.

    To me, spanking is a ritualised, lengthy thing, not a quick slap or two. I'd never use spanking as punishment for either of my little ones, because, to me, that would mean holding them down and smacking them until some 'goal' is reached (a teary apology, 20 swats, 3 minutes...whatever...). Rather than warning them away from danger or preventing them from getting hurt, I'm just punishing them, and I don't really believe in that unless they've deliberately done something they know is bad. Even then, I would never use spanking...I consider that the easy way out :P If they've done something bad enough to warrant a proper punishment, I'm going to make darn sure they remember it! :P

    If they're doing something immediately /dangerous/, I'll slap their hands away from it, and honestly I won't think about how hard I'm doing it. It would be done out of urgency, not out of a want to punish them. If it was hard enough to hurt, I would apologise but tell them that the stove/plughole/knife drawer is VERY DANGEROUS and they must never, ever touch it, and 'yes, Mama's sorry, she is, let's take a look at dat poorly hand, oh, shhh, shh, Mama's magic kisses will make it all better, there we are, now, alll better huh sweetie?' Accompanied by lotsa cuddles! :P

    I'd also give a quick swat or tap to remind them of their manners, like if they said something rude to someone. But it wouldn't be to hurt, just to shock them slightly.

  3. #3


    Let me first make a distinction between spanking as a form of erotic ageplay and spanking as a "parenting tool".

    Whether or not we think it is an effective means to modify children's behaviour, the culture no longer exists in which it is socially acceptable to spank a child of any age. However we are all aware that in the recent past it was considered not only acceptable but also morally the right thing to do. (opinions on whether this was right or wrong are irrelevent here). I am one of the older guys here and I grew up in a culture where spanking was the normal punishment for misbehaviour, it was something which I accepted, I didn't think it was effective, but i didn't think it was abusive either.

    Ageplay however is often about abdicating your autonomy to another person, that at least is the thing that attracts me to it. The buttocks are for most people an erogenous zone and the stimulation of such areas (regardless of your gender or sexual orientation) is excitng, whether that stimulation extends to having the area repeatedly struck, is entirely another matter, but it is one of personal choice. People who do find it enjoyable should not feel guilty about enjoying it, nor should they try to justify that enjoyment by relating it to real life events. An adult playing the role of a child or baby is still an adult nevertheless. The use of any "punishment" within a scenario would depend on the personal tastes of the consenting adults involved . Interference with their free choices is really just prudery. But lets not involve real children or babies in this, it is in my opinion totally irrelevent. Which is not to say that i don't think real life minors should be allowed to consent to the same sort of games with other people their own age, just don't involve us adults in it.
    Last edited by tuscan; 18-Sep-2011 at 13:40. Reason: posted accidentally halfway through writing

  4. #4


    Hi Both,
    and thanks for the comments. I too was brought up where a bare bottomed, over the knee spanking or 6 or 7 bare hand slaps across the back of bare legs was the norm, but this isn't about real children, hitting/spanking real children is a crime, do it in front of me I'll break your arm. (NO charlie where the child is about to do something dangerous I wouldn't break your arm for that, you know what I mean).

    Charlie (I do so want to pat your avatar). Yes in certain forms of play then spanking can and does become highly ritualised and usually highly erotic to at least one of the partners involved, but again we are looking mainly at age play and why some are for it and some are against. And Cahrlie, I never mentioned Hurting your little one. I would never advocate that, with or without consent.

    Maybe the scenario I gave didn't go over as it should.
    Baby trys to pull plug and gets a firm No
    Baby trys 2nd time gets a firmer No
    Baby tries 3rd time get's a hand slap and instant forgivness. But at that point Baby knows it is wrong to do it, but stll does it.
    Baby tries 4th time and gets 2 or 3 swats on a highly padded bottom, again instant forgivness.

    But after the third time that baby knows what he/she is doing is wrong, mummy has spoken and acted. And 2 year olds do know wheta they are doing and are aware of consequences. Admittedly in2 days time you may end up repeating exactly the same process for exactly the same behaviour, but that's outside the scope of this thread.

    Personally, provided that both partners consent, and limits are set (with a safe word if needed) then mommy or daddy discipling a small child is ok. I also agree with charlie that any physical form of discipline/punishment meeted out should be immediately tempered with forgiveness, hugs, cuddles and lot of love and if you spank my 2 year old, once on his nappied bottom you'll need to change him as well as all the hugs etc.

    I have a virtual baby boy that I am daddy to, and he doesn't agree with any form of violence, so we have had to evolve ways of disciplining that doesn't involve anything physical. Which can mean I have to get creative at times, but spinach is good.

  5. #5


    I think it's fine, and appropriate, as long as both are okay with it. I've never understood this bizarre modern cultural development that views spanking a child as paramount to cutting his fingers off. I don't agree with that development, but, that's the way things have moved, and it isn't my business to tell people how to raise their kids.

    That said, if I'm continually misbehaving despite my caretaker giving me several warnings, I need a spanking at that point. Of course, followed by hugs, forgiveness, etc, all that.

    Since it isn't anything erotic or sexual in this context, it's just a caretaker punishing his charge for misbehaving, I'm sensing the question is coming down to one of ethics.

    I do not agree with this:

    Whether or not we think it is an effective means to modify children's behaviour, the culture no longer exists in which it is socially acceptable to spank a child of any age.
    I don't know about the UK, but at least in the USA, while it may not be "in favor" it's not completely unacceptable. Probably more people than not avoid doing it. I'll not go into what I think about that...but, if the caregiver does not find issue with it, and the "young one" does not find issue with it...why are there ethical questions at all?

    I'll add too that there are still plenty of places where public sentiment is that it is not acceptable to not spank your child when he/she needs disciplined.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by tuscan View Post
    Whether or not we think it is an effective means to modify children's behaviour, the culture no longer exists in which it is socially acceptable to spank a child of any age.
    'Nearly half of parents' back corporal punishment

    'Nearly half' is very far from 'no longer exists'. And this was a UK poll published on BBC UK, too!

    I will tell you that, as a parent in the relatively liberal northwestern US, spanking is still a very common punishment. We have several parent-friends and acquaintances who spank their children on occasion. If you were to look at the south-central portion of the US (the so-called "bible belt"), the numbers would be much higher.

    People don't talk about this stuff much, but that doesn't mean it isn't alive and well.


  7. #7


    whoa, guys you are geeting way off topic here it's not about spanking kids. If it was I'd have shut this, I will state once and for all I find anyone hitting a child, I will hospitalise them. I went through tremendous abuse as a kid and that's what spanking comes down to. An adults attempt to obtaine dominance or compliance by the application of brute force. It is now illegal in the UK and should be in any form of right minded society. Let the flames come.

    this is about spanking in an age play situation. Not about real children

  8. #8


    I'm into a lot of BDSM activities so I got into spanking that way, and soon I found that crossing over into a lot of my age play scenarios. Not quite the same in either situation, but I would say no, I don't see anything wrong with it.

    I don't think this has anything to do with condoning corporal punishment in real life. Won't get into excessive detail, but I used to go to school with bruises on my arms. I think in some ways that acting out these scenarios with a loving mommy or daddy can be almost a form of therapy.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by tuscan View Post
    When I'm doing ageplay (and for clarification, I mean non-erotic, non-sexual ageplay), I'm trying to enter a state of willing suspension of disbelief, and keep that constantly. This allows me to be a girl of 17 wearing a size XL diaper, drooling around a massive pacifier...and still think of myself as an innocent toddler.

    I think every ageplay 'couple' needs both 'soft' and 'hard' rules. Hard rules are those they make outside of a scene; if your little breaks those rules, ALL of you breaks those rules (that is, your 'big' will be accountable, too). For instance, if we agree outside of a scene that there won't be any messing, and 10 minutes in you fill your diapers, I'm not going to let you say 'But I'm justa widdle baby!' when I tell you that's not allowed. I'm going to stop the scene, full stop, tell you that isn't acceptable, and not play with you again until you learn some damn manners! :P

    'Soft' rules are rules INSIDE a scene. Things like, 'no video-games after 7pm', 'no movies rated over 12A', 'no candy unless I say so!'...those are rules that, when you break, have no bearing on your outside relationship with me (unless /you/ get huffy about it after the scene, in which case you're a terrible play partner and I don't wanna do it with you any more :P). These are rules you ALLOW to be established. They're negotiable, we're working them out together. Iff you feel your little needs strong boundaries, we'll put those in place. If you need less, we'll make it less. We /both/ have input on this. HARD rules are things that one or both parties find utterly unacceptable, that should NEVER happen no matter what.

    So for instance, if I catch you staying up until 9pm playing Tomb Raider, you will be punished. But I won't hold it against you in our day to day friendship. Once the scene ends, it's none of my business (unless we have an extended ageplay relationship...) what you do as an adult.

    Let's first agree that any adults who consent to this are, indeed, adults. But they /want/ to feel like children. To do so, they need willing suspension of disbelief. And having soft rules helps with that. When we discuss this, we /know/ we are talking about adults. But we're also applying the use of terminology that is normally reserved for children, because in order to maintain that oh-so-important willing suspension of disbelief, a lot of people need to be treated like children as much as possible (and have consented to that OUTSIDE of a scene).

    That's why we talk this way; because, if someone is feeling little and we treat them like a BIGperson, it can be really jarring and make them snap out of littlespace, ruining the scene. But in this thread, you can assume everyone who is being talked about is an adult, even if it may appear otherwise due to the language used.

    In short: When my girl or boy 'plays' as my little one, I treat them as a real little one, even though they're adults.

    Quote Originally Posted by PCBaby View Post
    Hmm, I also forgot to mention a different, non-sexual kind of ritualisation, actually (well, I suppose it is sexual for some, but I don't mean that way). The delaying of punishment; 'You wait until your father gets home!', being sent up to your room waiting for a spanking to come, being made to fetch a switch to get spanked with...I wouldn't like any of those things. I think they encourage the avoidance of the spanking rather than of the dangerous/bad activity. I would say, yes, I would have no problem with your scenario, if it was done instantly and then with compassion. As a deterrent, not so much a 'punishment'.

    And go ahead, pat my fluffy avatar pup...she dun bite... much :P

  10. #10


    Scary I know waht you mean, mum sometimes used a yard broom on my back, but even her otk spanking would lesve me bruised and bloodied.

    Charlie, My mum was far too eager to hit me to ever wait and let dad have the fun, although he only slapped the baacks of my legs it still hurt and when I was in long trousers I haad to drop them first. Then he'd grab hold of my upper and arm and lift me till I as on tip toe
    I hadn't considerds hard and soft rules ,but I may have a meeting coming up and we have already set some of both, just never though of them that way

    ---------- Post added at 20:59 ---------- Previous post was at 20:58 ----------

    Charlie do you roleplay within Adisc?

    ---------- Post added at 21:00 ---------- Previous post was at 20:59 ----------

    and did you snip or did the mods?
    sorry about allthe extra questions

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