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Thread: Need advice

  1. #1

    Default Need advice

    Sol I have been Dating for just over 2 months now and My gf knows about my interest in baby stuff. But she will not support it, and wants me to stop doing it.
    I can't help liking this stuff, and I find that every night I regress, and I am afraid of losing her.
    What should I do? She won't comprimise. She thinks we are "sick in the head", and she doesn't get that by saying such things it hurts me.
    I love her and don't want to lose her but Asking me to get rid of something that has always been a part of me, is like asking someone to cut off their arm cause it bugs you.
    What can I do? Please help....

  2. #2
    Locke

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    Frankly, dump her. If she is actually saying you aren't right in the head, and can't accept this part of you in any way, shape, or form, it wont work out. Relationships need to have open-ness, and if she forces you to stop you will either resent her or lie and do ab/dl things anyways. Either way, not good.

  3. #3

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    I'm Just scared. I don't want to dump her. She literally said Liking baby things is a mental illness, which I know for a fact is bull. I've never dumped anyone in my life. I'm too nice.
    She says if I continure with the AB stuff she doesn't want to be a part of it.
    I'm so torn.

  4. #4

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    Well... you could always make her dump you, by continuing to do it in spite of her wanting you to stop, but then you do risk her 'blackmailing' you and threatening to tell others. It is a tough choice. I worry about that with my Girlfriend, too. She does not know yet and i am not sure how she will react when/if i tell her. But enough about my issue, back to you. Unfortunately if she is not going to accept it and you are not willing/able to give it up. Then one way or another the relationship is going to find a way to end itself. Either you end it on your terms or on hers.

  5. #5

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    If she will not accept this and your enjoyment of it, then i would say dump her. openness and trust are huge in these relationships involving ABDL

  6. #6

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    If she were to dump me I can garantee that I would be so hurt, I would cry for 3-4 days. I wish there was some other way.
    Maybe I am fooling myself. but I don't know how to give up the AB lifestyle, I don't know if I could

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by KawaiiBabyjenni View Post
    She thinks we are "sick in the head"...


    Quote Originally Posted by KawaiiBabyjenni View Post
    She literally said Liking baby things is a mental illness, which I know for a fact is bull.
    I think these quotes are telling. They're different to 'I don't like it, don't do it around me...' or even 'It sounds weird, I'm not sure if this is okay...', both of which are negative but still leave room for discussion. She's already reached a conclusion about your behaviour, and has appointed herself an authority on whether it is okay or not. It doesn't sound like she'd be willing to compromise on this, and that's worrying. She's not just disagreeing with your opinion, she's out and out saying your opinion, and by extension, YOU, are wrong.

    The general consensus is you should dump her, and I have to say in your shoes I would, too. If my partner hated such a fundamental part of me, and believed that holding my opinion that it's okay was wrong, I would not want to be with them. I couldn't be. It's one thing to have a difference of opinion, it's another to refuse to respect the other person's opinion completely.

    I think you need to talk to her. Explain you understand she doesn't like it, but it is part of you. That it's okay for her to not participate or even want to know that you do, but this is something you are going to keep doing, whether she's part of your life or not. Tell her it's okay to question whether it's 'ok' or not, heck, it's even ok to come to the (erroneous) conclusion that it's wrong or dirty or bad*. But it's not ok for her to insult you by telling you you're mentally ill, and it's not okay to try to force you to stop doing it or feeling this way because it makes /her/ uncomfortable.

    Ultimately, make sure she knows this is part of you and always will be. Tell her you don't know if you can stay with her if she's going to treat you badly over this, but if she stays, you /will/ have the urge to do this stuff, and even if you try to ignore it, eventually you will act on it. It's not going to disappear if she nags hard enough, any more than being gay disappears when parents disapprove. For both of your sakes, make sure she KNOWS this will be there for the long haul, and if she doesn't like that, well, she knows where the door is.

    Hope this helps
    - Charlie xxo

    *If she DOES reach this conclusion (and it sounds like she has...), try asking WHY she feels that way, what helped her decide it was wrong and bad.

  8. #8

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    I think she feels that way cause she is a CNA at an old folks home.
    chances are she will dump me in the end but I hope it never comes to that.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KawaiiBabyjenni View Post
    Sol I have been Dating for just over 2 months now and My gf knows about my interest in baby stuff. But she will not support it, and wants me to stop doing it.
    I can't help liking this stuff, and I find that every night I regress, and I am afraid of losing her.
    What should I do? She won't comprimise. She thinks we are "sick in the head", and she doesn't get that by saying such things it hurts me.
    I love her and don't want to lose her but Asking me to get rid of something that has always been a part of me, is like asking someone to cut off their arm cause it bugs you.
    What can I do? Please help....
    If she thinks youīre mad, so get it clear. Do her some vainilla and through this period try to open her mind. If doesnīt work, so send her from where she came. A long place itīd destroy you.

    Sorry for be cruel, but itīs my experience... Experience hurts, sometimes.

  10. #10
    BabyJayk

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by KawaiiBabyjenni View Post
    Sol I have been Dating for just over 2 months now and My gf knows about my interest in baby stuff. But she will not support it, and wants me to stop doing it.
    I can't help liking this stuff, and I find that every night I regress, and I am afraid of losing her.
    What should I do? She won't comprimise. She thinks we are "sick in the head", and she doesn't get that by saying such things it hurts me.
    I love her and don't want to lose her but Asking me to get rid of something that has always been a part of me, is like asking someone to cut off their arm cause it bugs you.
    What can I do? Please help....
    If you feel that your Baby side is PART of your emotional and psychological make-up and she can't accept that then she is NOT the right girl for you.

    When you choose someone to fall in love and spend the rest of your life with (I assume that's your goal considering that's really the only point to dating). You should not have to change to make her happy, she also shouldn't have to change to make you happy.

    Bottom line is it sounds like you won't/can't stop being a bABy so the only solution is to get rid of the only thing you have control over. I know you don't want to hear it, but there ARE other fish in the sea. More accepting fish at that.

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