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Thread: So sick...

  1. #1

    Default So sick...

    Of hiding all of this. You know, I just noticed that for the past couple weeks I've been subconsciously making my diaper use fairly obvious to everyone around me. For example, wearing around friends, family, in school, letting the top plastic part of the diaper be clearly visible, etc. And after all this, I had a close call with my mom. The details of it aren't beneficial to this thread. Point being - I'm so sick of hiding it! I can't take keeping something that's such a big part of my life hidden like some big, dark, evil secret. It feels almost as aggravating as when I was still closeted sexuality-wise. But divulging your sexual orientation and your *BDLism are two way different things, obviously. But I have SO much to lose by being open about all of this stuff. But I want to be open about it... So bad. Hiding it really is killing me. I think about it constantly. Every day. Thinking what it would be like to have this weight off of me. Wishing that this quirk of mine wasn't so taboo in modern society. Fuck, man... Sorry about the random ranting. Lots on my mind.


    ._.

  2. #2

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    I hear you. It seems to be a periodic thing for me. Sometimes I can't imagine sharing any of this. Other times, I might leave for work having not done a very good job of hiding something and I'll be thinking, "Well, if it gets found... GOOD!" Invariably, I end up freaking out and re-hiding everything later, though. Like you, the sense of having a lot to lose always prevails. It can be frustrating, though, even after almost 30 years of hiding my diapers.

    LL

  3. #3

    Default

    Yes, it really sucks that we have to keep this a secret. It seems a tragedy that gay people have no problem coming out but the moment you start talking about diapers, people find it very shocking. I doubt that it will ever be any different but at least my spouse knows so it's not totally a secret for me.

  4. #4

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    "Coming out" has never made any sense to me. I will explain this just how one of my friends who is gay explained it to me. I asked him if he was going to the gay pride event that was being held near by, his response was:

    "What do I have to be proud about? I don't need to, nor do I flaunt the fact I am gay. You don't shove it in peoples faces that you are straight, openly making out on the street or anything, so why do people feel the need to shove it peoples faces they can make out with another male or female. What people do in their own bedroom is their own business."

    Keeping in mind those are the words of my friend who is gay. I agree with him on every level. The same goes for my DLism, I don't share it with anyone else. I don't shove it in peoples faces, they don't need to know what "turns" me on. I would not want to hear what gets my parents "off"

    The fact that I see a thread that asks people fetishes is kinda shocking. I don't need to know and I don't want to know. If you really feel that it's so important to tell people what you sexually desire to put it nicely, then by all means do it, but think about where that will get you. Think of the awkwardness that you may create between you and your parents.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by WingDog View Post
    "What do I have to be proud about? I don't need to, nor do I flaunt the fact I am gay. You don't shove it in peoples faces that you are straight, openly making out on the street or anything, so why do people feel the need to shove it peoples faces they can make out with another male or female. What people do in their own bedroom is their own business."
    Your friend is a wise person . . .

  6. #6

    Default

    I know how you feel
    I'm in a similar place myself.

    I guess theres nothing I can say, but if a hug would help, you are more than welcome to one
    *hugs to all*

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by happydl View Post
    Yes, it really sucks that we have to keep this a secret. It seems a tragedy that gay people have no problem coming out but the moment you start talking about diapers, people find it very shocking. I doubt that it will ever be any different but at least my spouse knows so it's not totally a secret for me.
    This is something I've been thinking of for a very long time. About thirty years ago, homosexuality was seen as bad and now, it is accepted by everybody. People succeeded in making something that was once unacceptable, acceptable. We could all do the same thing here with our fetish.

  8. #8

    Default

    I definitely hear where you're coming from there. Though I would never let my parents and extended family know, I did tell my brothers once ages ago. The subject has never come up again, but it happened and that's the important thing.

    But everything else, like making diaper use obvious to others is pretty much what I've done on and off the last few years. I didn't even bother hiding them when I lived with one roommate a couple years ago. They were in my bedroom, but I didn't put them in the closet or anything.

  9. #9

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    Sadly I think the bit aboiut "Homosexuality being accepted now" is going a bit too far. Some people have learned not to slag off people with a different sexual orientation because it's "illegal" but that does not mean that the basic unforgiving and unaccepting attitudes of many people have changed - they just mask it and "pretend" they are more accepting than they really are. This is not to say htings are not light years better for gay/tansgendered people but not all the hurdles have been overcome.

  10. #10

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    HuskyAlly, I feel with you.
    The only question is what would happen if people around you *do* know it. Probably nothing, except for your parents arguing with you what to do with your plastic peeking out. On the other hand you have to admit that our fetish never will be accepted, though. You will go further in your life being 'the diapered stranger', even within your own family. The way how I 'expose' myself is to make some pictures of myself public to other diaper lovers. This can be done on the [Removed]
    Last edited by HogansHeroes; 21-Oct-2011 at 04:31. Reason: removed mention of 18+ site.

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