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Thread: Finding a Partner Willing to Wear Diapers

  1. #1

    Default Finding a Partner Willing to Wear Diapers

    Allright, so this is my first real post, and I suppose the topic is fairly suiting for that. I've been thinking alot lately about the best way to safely meet people with diaper fetishes. I've been a member on Diaper Space for a while, but I've been reluctant to put a picture of myself on my page, or use my real name out of the fear that it would somehow come back to bite me. And, as I'm sure most of you can relate, I've pretty well come to terms with the fact that this fetish will not go away. It seems to be every guy's dream to find a girl willing to indulge in diapers with them, and I'm no different. However, this seems to be a very male dominated fetish. The numbers a kind of stacked against us in terms of finding a girl that genuinely enjoys diapers as much as you do. Also, putting the fact that you have a diaper fetish out there while dating random girls will most likely turn out badly.

    So I've been thinking of ways to kind of test the water, so to speak, while dating, in order to gauge whether or not you have the right girl to "drop" the news on....ya know, the dreaded, "honey, I like wearing diapers" conversation that some of us have had the guts to initiate. (myself not being one of them)

    Maybe after being with a girl for a while, and being intimate, you could ask her to pee her pants for you, and throw that out there as a fetish. (Don't ask me why, but for some reason that seems like it would sting less than admitting to a diaper feitsh).

    If she's in to it, then great! It's kind of diaper related and you'll know that she's willing to get kinky for you and enjoy it. I would guess she's the kind of girl that's more likely to be willing to slip into a diaper for ya.

    If she's weirded out, then you pull back, say no problem, and then you'll know where she stands on the kink-o-meter.

    Also, if the pee thing completely grosses her out, and you wind up breaking up with her, then at least she'll just be telling people that you have a pee fetish and not a diaper fetish (again, to me, a pee fetish just seems to be a bit more dignified and accepted than a diaper fetish, don't ask me why).

    What are y'alls thoughts on this? Is this too manipulative?

    Any one tried something similar?

  2. #2


    I think that if you feel comfortable enough with this person, you will know when the time is right. Having a fetish isn't a be-all-end-all, especially one as different as infantilism.

    What you should focus on, however, is finding somebody that you can relate to in the traditional sense and if they love you enough *hopefully* they should accept your fetish as being a part of you.

    I know I'm being an optimist and personally speaking I have never had negative results with regards to sharing my fetish with my significant other, however, having a fetish is only a part of who you are and focusing on finding somebody who fulfils that one part doesn't guarantee success with the other aspects of a relationship that may be more important to your significant other.

    Not to be a downer, just keep yourself open and when you meet the right person, test the waters which ever way you want to, just don't focus your attention on your wants and needs because there's so much more to love than diapers.

    Acceptance is more important than anything, and if she happens to partake, that's a bonus! If she doesn't, and if she's the right person, don't let it be a deal breaker.

    Good luck!

  3. #3


    Thanks for the reply!

    I totally agree with you about diapers being only one aspect of a relationship, and a fairly small one in the grand scheme of it. Ya know, when you're talking about love and what not.

    It's just a big deal for me in terms of the, err, uh... bed room.

    I'm glad to hear that you've had a positive response to your fetish from your significant other. I'll take your advice and stay open, and put the pursuit of love over a fetish. That sounds like the best way to go.

    I suppose I'm just trying to figure out the best way to get both.

    Thanks again!

  4. #4


    I think that's sort of... a very objectifying manipulative way of going about it. It's ... I don't know. That's not how I'd want someone to test me on it. I'd feel like a sex object if someone did that to me and that might end up being a deal breaker for me. The mentality if someone did that to me would be "Oh... they think of me as a sex object....pretty girls that have things going for them aren't treated as just a sex objects- I must be semi mediocre appearance wise, or somehow lacking- or maybe I'm not lacking and it's just they treat women like sexual objects. Well crap, I don't want to be someone's sex object. I guess I'll stop dating and just hang out with cool people and try to better myself until I like myself and other people like me for me too. Or I'll just take a year off from dating and do art. Yeah, that sounds cool." .... I have no idea if that's a good mindset, but that's my thought process word for word after dating issues ... I haven't dated anyone in over a year now.

    Basically I think you'd be better off trying to date someone open minded and since it's kinky for you then also someone sex positive. Look for those sorts of traits. The more open minded and nonjudgemental the more likely it'll be okay. I reallyyy don't date often, men or women (The odd thing is, I'm more apt to date women. There is a standard feeling of objectification with both genders, and there are women that feel like they objectify me far too much. I don't date them. But I'm able to tolerate more objectification from women because they don't have the male privilege. It's more equal, and I'm doing it right back to them to a degree which is awful but it's internalized at this point. I don't date men as often in spite of being bisexual, because there are far fewer feminist men... they don't see that they're looking at me like an object and everything feels counter balanced. I'm attracted to men that get it, just as much as women, but those that don't? There are a lot that don't, so I have dated far more women... even though I'm currently interested in this guy that possibly doesn't like me back at all.)

    When I do date, I look for open minded people that don't objectify me unless I feel like playing at objectification. I like diapers, and I like sex, but I wouldn't do it for 99.9% of the people in the world because the need to be respected as a person comes first, and a lot of other things come before diapers- although for me I feel like ageplay of some sort is a necessary aspect in a relationship. People can pick and choose what they want, and if you want diapers then a girl that doesn't accept it can be a dealbreaker for you. It might really severely limit your chances of dating though and you might wind up alone. I'm equally fine with making art by myself and being without a significant other for the rest of my life. I might change my mind later, but that's where I'm at now...

    I don't know, your approach might mean you get a girl that likes diapers, but not a well educated feminist girl. Er, unless they're consciously choosing to ignore the objectification or chooses to delight in it and the attention which is totally fine for both of you and winds up great as long as the relationship is healthy.

    I'd really recommend not objectifying a lots of women just to end up with your particular sexual needs met though... I really can't tell you a better way to do it other than be more open about it. Get to a point where you feel like you could initiate a watersports conversation, and instead mention that you're into kinky things and you have a weird kink and wanted to see if that was a deal breaker, and then mention that you'd like to bring up related fetishes to see if she's comfortable- but be completely up front about everything. Transparency is great. I wouldn't feel objectified if someone was like "Oh, I'm really vulnerable over this particular issue and it's a bedroom issue and I know it's strange, so if we could figure out a way to get to where I'm comfortable talking to you about it, that'd be great- I'm extremely nervous about it and haven't told anyone."

    .... Sorry for the wall of text.
    TLDR: I'm a feminist and think you should be more transparent about what you're doing and I don't like that method because it places a girl as a sexual object.

  5. #5


    I'm not sure if having a partner that will wear diapers is the right attitude. If you get into a relationship and slowly open up to them, they may accept it and possibly participate.

  6. #6


    First and foremost I think that a relationship should be based on love and not a particular fetish. You can help your luck by trying to find women who are open minded and such but the foundation of the relationship should be love.

    I think Starbright is right about being transparent. I can imagine the girl feeling tricked this way. Don't get her to wet her pants first without her knowing your end game.

    If no diapers in the bedroom would truly be a dealbreaker for you then have to make that clear to her. Leading her on by getting her to wet her pants first seems a bit manipulative.

    Just be honest and tell her you're a bit kinky and see if she has any kinks of her own but be clear to her about and don't downplay the diaper part.

  7. #7


    I think all the advice and comments above are on the ball - part of the fear of being asked to do something out of the ordinary in a partnership is to do with the fear of exploitation. We can all wield power in lots of subtle and not so subtle ways but coercing a partner into something that only has a pay off for one of you is likely to lead to stress and disappointment all round - as well as doing no justice at all to the word "partner". In other circumstances a crucial guestion from one partner to another goes along the lines of "do you love me enough not to drink/use hard drugs/go with prostitutes---or whatever" It would be a great shame if a diaper issue wrecked a relationship.

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