Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: so how would one go about finding a carer?

  1. #1

    Default so how would one go about finding a carer?

    I have seen posts on this although no straight answers, I agree with many people this is an intimate thing, and it would take a certain amount of commitment.
    I am extremely interested in finding a carer, or being one. I just don't know how to get the process started.
    I am a guy and there is certain sexual aspect to it all, although my AB side always rules over sex, guess I know where my brain is.
    When I bring this up it makes most women run like hell, just want to find one that doen't think its weird or strange, I'd always be up for switching roles, gotta be fair

  2. #2


    I'm assuming you mean caretaker? Uhm, I wouldn't even consider this. It would be far to embarrassing.

  3. #3


    Just as a reminder, we are not a dating site, so while exchanging advice on how to find a caretaker is fine, any actual "personal add"-like posts will be removed.

  4. #4


    well judging from my recent experiences I'd personally say get a gun and shoot yourself it will be a lot less painfull in the long run

  5. #5


    First thing: Stop looking. Or at least, stop telling girls you're looking. The /instant/ a guy says 'I'm looking for a Mommy' I feel like I'm being judged by that criteria, like he's running a mental checklist to see if I could be a good Mommy for him. That doesn't make me want to live up to those conditions, it makes me feel pressured and want to immediately diffuse any thoughts he might be having (of me being his Mommy), so I'll immediately say something like 'Oh, good luck with that, I hope you find one!' or even, 'Well, sorry, can't help you there, Mommies are rare...'

    What you have to remember is that 'Mommies' have a lot of options. They have a lot more choice than ABs, especially AB males. Even if they're crazy about babying people, they still get to hunt around more for a partner, because they're actually in demand. LOADS of bABies want a Mommy. So if the first message you get across to her is 'I am another AB who wants a Mommy', she's not going to see any difference between you and all the other guys clamoring for her attention.

    Of course, if she asks 'What are you looking for from the AB community?' you can say 'Well, it (helps me feel calmer/happier, blahblahblah...), I also hope to maybe find a Mommy one day, but I haven't found the right person yet.' It's just when you ANNOUNCE it straight away or without provocation it can feel like a lot of pressure, or even like you're trying to make the other person feel they should be babying you. On a related note, don't try to guilt someone into babying you. I know it seems obvious, but I have had people (who I've said 'no ' to before) message me and tell me how horrible their life is...and when I get done sympathising and offering advice, they say 'Can you baby me now pweeez?' or 'Now can oo be mine mommy?'...Never EVER treat being babied or having a carer like something you're entitled to.

    So, now you know what NOT to do...what SHOULD you do?

    Well, as cliche as it is...just be yourself. Be friendly, chat to people. I'm of the opinion that a Big/little relationship should always be based upon a strong friendship. I can't tell you exactly what to do, or even if this method will be 100% successful, but I do think it's the best method. If you find a Mommy, she'll know you as a person and you'll be able to relate on a level beyond just a Mommy/baby relationship. If you don't, you'll have made some great friends. So it's really a win-win.

    It's good that you're prepared to switch, too. That means you can return the favour if that's what she'd like. Also, don't worry about the sexual aspect. Most ABs I know have a sexual aspect to their ABness, but it's not about what we feel by accident, but the feelings we look to persue that matter. If you get a boner and start sexualising everything deliberately, well, you're obviously looking for the ABplay to be sexual...if you get a boner and instead try to focus on the nice littley feelings instead of the sexy ones, you're looking for the gratification from feeling cute and innocent rather than from sexiness. Make sure you make this clear to your partner before you play IRL though, otherwise they may be confused, especially if they're new to this.

    TL;DR: Make friends, and when you become good friends with someone with a compatible personality, consider asking if they'd like to maybe try babying one another. DON'T rush in.

    (p.s. if OP meant he wants to find someone immediately IRL to baby them (i.e. a 'normal' person prepared to baby him), I have no advice...except that that's nuts :P)


    EDIT: This post assumes you're looking for a real, intimate, committed relationship with a caretaker, one that would eventually (and naturally!) progress into real life. Where she considers you actually part of her family and her best friend. If all you want is an occasional bit of online babying, then just keep doing what you're doing (that is, post in the 'adopt a user' thread and wait/update it occasionally.

  6. #6


    Good advice Charlie, if only you were a girl and a decade or three older, I'd invite you out for a coffee

    ---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------

    OOPS, I just checked your profile and according to that you are a girl, but how can a girl be a sissy?? I'm confused.

  7. #7


    Irl carer - I suggest a fetish dating site. Easiest way to find that kind of person.

    Otherwise, play the risk game of finding a loving partner you can one day come out to that will then play carer.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by PCBaby View Post
    Good advice Charlie, if only you were a girl and a decade or three older, I'd invite you out for a coffee

    ---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------

    OOPS, I just checked your profile and according to that you are a girl, but how can a girl be a sissy?? I'm confused.
    :P It's complicated. I'm a reverse-sissy; sometimes I play a boy. I also sometimes play a sissy (that is, I play a boy who dresses up as a girl). Making me a reverse-reverse sissy :P

    Your Mind = Blown. :P

  9. #9


    yep! well and truly,, and it;s still a pity you aren't a decade or so older, or I'd ask you to be my big sister.

  10. #10


    Did you check under all the rocks in your backyard? I heard they like to stay in cool, damp places, and only really come out when it rains. Wait, maybe that's slugs.

    My best advice for you is to learn to be OK with not having a caretaker, even while you're looking for one. It's not impossible to find one, but it is difficult. That said, you'll be happier in the long run if you find peace in not having one, that way you'll be fine if you never find one, and then if you do happen upon one, you'll be ever better. Other than that, maybe try diaperspace or the dating service that DD provides. Those sorts of things are probably your best bet for finding someone who is already looking to be baby someone, or perhaps someone who is willing to switch off (which is more likely). Just remember not to come off as too eager or nymphomaniacal, as that can be a bit intimidating to people.

Similar Threads

  1. Help i need help finding...
    By AnonKiba in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 25-Nov-2010, 16:25
  2. Do you have a carer?
    By Grapes in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 20-Aug-2010, 05:17
  3. A carer you aren't in a relationship with...
    By custard in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-May-2010, 04:50
  4. What do you expect from a carer?
    By Peachy in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 22-Aug-2008, 20:31

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.